Ever since the topic of having children was brought up, it was all Pax could think about. She never anticipated she'd ever be one of those Soquili, who spent every waking moment idolizing the idea of being a parent and what her and Loleki's children would look and act like. Yet, here she was, mere weeks after first inquiring to her mate about his thoughts on the matter, still hoof deep in the possibilities.She wasn't sure if she'd be as good as a mother as her own, she knew she didn't have the maternal instinct that kicked in whenever she saw a foal, but she knew that no matter what, her children would be loved. Her children would want for nothing, and they'd be magical in their own right. Pax also knew there was a chance that her children could grow up to resent her, much like Epesi's children had, and into adulthood she may never see them again, but....they were their own individuals, living their own lives and as long as they'd know they had a home to come back to at the end of the day, would it really matter if they wanted to be independent?
She herself was fiercely independent, and Mahiri did not waiver in her support for her daughters, regardless of the cost. Pax could only hope she'd be as understanding.
Mahiri was still a major part of each of her children's lives, and so the story on the lives of all was passed around from the gossip queen, the matron of all, and recently Pax had been privy to some astounding piece of information. Ian - Mahiri's step-godson/grandson was expecting a new batch of children with his mate of many, many years, even after years had passed since they had first had children. Pax had found this quite interesting simply because it meant that it was possible to start anew. It meant it was possible to learn and grow and be okay, regardless of the decisions of the past. Ian and his mate, Cicely, were wonderful Soquili, who had loving hearts and an open home, and the universe was giving them an opportunity to learn and grow once more. It didn't matter to them (at least, this was an assumption she was making) that their children would be so much younger than they were now - they could be young again with their offspring. This was what Pax had decided she wanted with Loleki, although they had never had kids before, she had wanted to feel young again.
Young at heart she'll forever be, but she was not ignorant to the world. She knew she was old, and it had terrified her that if she had kids now, she wouldn't know what to do.
But, she'd be okay. She'd be okay.
After having brought all of this up to Loleki, it had been suggested she go visit Ian and Cicely in their grove, to get a second opinion on the matter. Anything that they'd have to say would have been genuine, and it would give Pax the confidence she needed to push forward with their decision to want to become parents. So she traveled, in search of the little grove that Mahiri had told them they resided, all the while having a wonderful adventure along the way. Any time she'd come across a young family with foals, Pax would want to stop, play and talk with the children, falling in love with their thirst for life. Some foals were reserved, sticking closely to their parents instead of engaging in activities with Pax, and she knew that if she had a child like that, it would be a unique challenge, but she would have Loleki at her side guiding her. He could be the quiet parent, the calm parent. He'd be the one to whisper bed time stories to them before they slept, and the one to tuck them in at night.
They could do this, together.
After having approached the scenery that Mahiri had described (and asking for directions from other creatures along the way), Pax had felt they had arrived, so without hesitation, she had shouted, "Ian? Mahiri sent me here. You there?"
As far as parental whereabouts were concerned, Ian had only given Mahiri the knowledge of his and Cicely's location for her sole express use. At this stage in his life, Mahiri had been the one consistent adult, always there for him no matter what, and never needing 'time' or 'space' to deal with emotional turmoil, unlike his actual parents. He didn't call her mother, and she was more like an older mentor more than anything else, but he loved her all the same. So when he heard a voice scream out, he was immediately certain it was Mahiri - it had sounded and smelled of her presence - and then, she said that Mahiri had sent her. Ack, Mahiri! Why! Cicely was pregnant, and a part from her own immediate family, he wanted to keep it a private spot. The two of them traveled, of course, so they were not isolated and it wasn't as if they couldn't come and go as they pleased, but their was their home, and a stranger had made him nervous."May I ask who you are?" He had responded, hesitant.
"Oh! Duh! Sorry! I'm very forgetful, my name is Pax! I'm Mahiri's youngest daughter, and I am here because my mate and I heard that you and Cicely are expecting again and we want to have kids of our own and so we just thought because you were old and expecting you'd be able to give us some advice-!", Pax had been talking so fast it had all come out in one breath, and she saw the look of Loleki's gaze in her head, even if he hadn't been there with her literally. If he could see her, he'd tell her to breath, stop talking for a moment, and let the other creature respond, so she had.
Pax. He had heard that name come out of Mahiri's stories before, and so he knew she was telling the truth, this was indeed one of her daughters. Hell, if she hadn't stated her name, he could tell just by the demeaner that this was some type of descendent from the happy-go-lucky mare he had respected so much. So, it appeared there had been a good reason why Mahiri had disclosed the location of his home to someone he had never met before, and for that....all was well.
Stepping out of the grove, he had come into view, now looking at the same frame of a mare who easily could pass as her daughter, which gave him even more confidence in the situation at hand. She was just a friend, looking for advice from someone she thought could help. "It's true, Cicely is pregnant again, and while it may have been a shock that it could even happen again after so many years, I know we are both excited," Ian had smiled at the mare before him, wondering why she felt so strongly about wanting advice from someone she hardly knew. They were friends only through Mahiri, and had never officially spoken before, so why had she come all this way just to hear about his experience as a father? He huffed, perhaps she was just seeking advice from anyone she could.
"Oh that's so wonderful, congrats! I just wanted to know if you felt like your old age is going to effect the kids in any way or if it's just something you're going to have to learn to grow and deal with as it comes or if you guys had a plan or-!" Breathe, she mentally told herself, and stopped to allow the stallion a chance to think about a response. Taking the sight of him in, he did not look anything like Bliss, his father, as Mahiri had described him, but he did look just as stern and serious as she had, and so Pax had immediately begun to wonder if coming here was the right decision. A stoic, stern stallion wouldn't understand where she was coming from! Panic starting to rise, she wanted for a reply.
Geez. There were some strange, strange genes in that family, most definitely. Ian started to feel as though this conversation wasn't going to go in a way that the mare was anticipating, as her body language almost immediately changed, so he softened his features. Cicely wouldn't be pleased with him knowing he had scared the poor mare off. But again, she was the one who had arrived unannounced, and she was the one who couldn't get a word in without saying 100 words after it in one breath. But still he replied, "honestly? I don't think either of us want to think about that aspect of it. Yes, we're old, and yes we won't be able to do the same kind of things with these new children as we had done with our first - I'm not as fast as I used to be, but that doesn't mean I'm any less ready. I cannot speak for Cicely on how she feels about being a mother again, but we were never not parents. We always have had our children, and our grandchildren. I think it's just a new experience, and because I have Cicely with me, we'll get through it, together. It doesn't do well to dwell on things beyond that."
Ian had been proud of himself for that response, as he didn't dismiss her ridiculous behavior, and all of it rang true. He was nervous, of course, any parent is nervous for new children , in anticipation that the children be happy and healthy, but beyond that he was resigned to just...panic silently.
"Why don't you come join me, you can relax, lay down if you'd like, and we can continue this conversation with Cicely present?"
And there they were. The words she didn't realize she had been so desperately hoping he'd say. Together, they'd get through it. He and Cicely would be fine, together. She had Loleki, would be fine, together. With a small nod, the mare agreed to join her mother's friend, and was excited for the possibilities of what was to come.
Loleki would hear all about this when she got home. And who knows, maybe they'd be new parents soon, and the kids could grow up....together.
