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 Posted: Sun May 22, 2022 8:21 pm
A year of searching, hunting for the lingering traces of someone he had been eager to call a friend. Eager to bring to the most important souls in his small world he called a life together in one protected land so he may never have to see that uneasy and wounded mare he had stumbled upon that night again.
Perhaps, somewhere deep down if he was honest with himself...it was more than just seeing himself in her. Of wanting to protect her.
Darius had enjoyed her company, and he enjoyed the way she made him feel a little less alone in a way his family couldn't quite comprehend or offer.
'I just don't want you upset if I disappear.'
Her words that night had hung in his mind, even though the mare had been able to enter the herd lands and had been treated. Things had been going well till the day he awoke and looked all over for the mare to find his father and mother with a sad knowing look and gentle shakes of their heads. Perhaps if he was a smarter stallion he may have understood then that they were trying to spare him his feelings, but Darius was not thinking that day. Needless to say his parents had seen him off that day, and perhaps just maybe, they knew that he was not going to return till he found her once more.
Inhaling deeply with his eyes closing for a few moments, it had been a few weeks that he had felt himself getting closer and closer to a rendezvous with the unsuspecting mare. However every time he thought to turn the corner and find her, he was met with but a bedding littered with her scent, and a few days behind once more. He hadn't been sleeping as well as he had in the beginning months of his journey, but how could he? He was so close. He could feel it deep in his core and the pulling of his very soul.
Tonight would be that night.
Being downwind he could smell her, especially in the darkness of night where she must be more active as he broke into a run once more, gliding across the lush grass almost silently thanks to the wind he pushed against. This time...this time he would be able to catch her, and this time he would finally be able to bring her back home.
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2022 7:44 pm
Night had gripped the land, and the mare was eager to be back on the move. She had never been the sort of soquili to linger in any one place for long, and since abandoning Darius and his family's herd, Mihr had been doing all in her power to keep as much distance between herself and that land. She would have scoffed if anyone had dared to claim she was nothing but a coward; she would have, and often did, argue that her reasons for leaving were simple -- she did not need a herd, and refused to be a burden on the gentle soul who had welcomed her to his home to heal and rest. They had healed her physically, but emotionally...
Emotionally, there was fear and trauma that hadn't been touched. Darius had almost convinced her to stay; surely, Cuah and Inkinya had been nothing but gracious hosts; and the others she had met had been friendly and cordial. In fact, Mihr had found much comfort within the herd, and even considered lingering.
But as time wore on, Mihr realized two things:
She was not, and would never be, like them.
And the longer she remained, the more she found herself thinking about him.
She was a monster, a creature born and bred of darkness -- and coming to that herd had been a mistake. They were soft, good, kindly Soquili who were family; they loved one another, took care of one another, protected each other. What was Mihr? She felt like an outsider looking in, and worse, for the first time since foalhood, Mihr had tasted envy. Jealousy. Want. For while she was welcome as a visitor, as a guest, she was reminded of absolutely everything she did not have. Long had Mihr locked her feelings away, buried such sensitivies, and for many years, thought she'd ousted such weakness.
But the time she spent in the herd, and around Darius, only proved how foolis she had been. Worse, she had felt the flickers of affection grip her, and though she knew not their name, the feeling had been foreign and alarming. So it was, without nary a word, as soon as she was able, she took flight under the cover of darkness to reclaim her former exile.
It was and would always be better that way. The less she thought about the herd, and most important, him -- the better it would be. Mihr wouldn't suffer a fool, and she would bury those feelings of jealousy, inadequacy, weakness, and shame.
So, night after night, she told herself that things were better. Grateful though she was for Darius help, for the herd's kindness, this was the way of things. And if she kept herself busy enough, she wouldn't wonder what became of the black coated stallion.
Her ears twitched, her eyes surveyed her surroundings, before she lowered her head to pick at her latest kill. While she would have left that night, the evening light had afforded her an opportunity to bring down a meal. So it was auspicious for Darius that she kept her wings folded, and picked at the fallen animal. She could and would remain one more night, at least.
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2022 12:59 pm
Blood was in the air the closer he got, but it was hard to discern when his breaths were hard and shallow with his running. Slowly he came to a stop at the edge of some woods, trying to calm himself with a deep breath in....and out. In...out... Smell, Darius! What is it!? he scolded in his mind. It didn't smell equine in nature so that was somewhat of a relief. Something small, but he couldn't make out what exactly. Whatever it was made his mouth water a bit out of hunger alone but he was equally quick to shake it off. He didn't have time for hunger, not when he was this close.
Mihr.
His lungs expanded as he took the biggest inhale he could manage, eyes closing to focus and hone in on the scent the mare had left behind. As if tiny strings were pulling him he began to walk into those woods, veering slightly left. Once more his eyes opened as he walked, the ground slightly indented from what seemed to be chase. these were hoofprints alight as dirt had kicked up from the pits in the soft soil. Had she been chasing something? The strength of the lingering blood became stronger - almost suffocating when he saw a small clearing in the trees and movement ahead. Poking his head over some underbrush he looked ahead and felt his knees get a little weak at the sight before him.
There she was, he was sure of it by the way his chest had clenched at those wings tucked against her soft twilight pelt. There at her hooves was a kill, the source of the scent which to his relief wasn't her own. The sense of urgency lingering for months and the worry had slowly began to dissipate leaving him with a body which now was able to be let known how exhausted and pushed it had been all this time. Darius slowly moved, finding space between the low bushes to squeeze past and into the clearing, ignoring the protests of rest and hunger.
"Mihr! There you are!" That bright smile had returned to his dark maw, yet despite his best attempt even his expression looked tired that couldn't quite match up to the enthusiasm in his voice and tone. "I thought I was bad at directions, but here you are...you're so far from the lands." He glanced about, a low chuckle tumbling from his lips. "Its okay now though, I should be able to lead us back more or less in a timely manner." He stopped a few feet away, still breathing a little harder than he should have for having been walking for the last several minutes.
"Why didn't you ask for directions if you lost your way...?" He asked innocently enough, not even paying any mind to the meal at her feet.
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Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2022 4:52 pm
Mihr had been in the middle of tearing into her prey, having satisfied herself that she was safe and alone -- only to hear the approach of another far-too-late. As the dark creature pushed himself out of the shadowed woods, Mihr's wings flared in surprise, and she immediately bared her fangs in defiance. Her little hoof wings spread to their fullest, and her muscles tensed as she prepared to fight for her kill.
Clearly, she was losing her touch to have been caught so off-guard. But that was the way of it sometimes; she was accustomed to blood drawing out all sorts of predators, and had acquired a few new scars in her time away from the herd. So while she was prepared to fight hoof and fang for her meal, what she was not prepared for was for the threat to be Darius.
Her snarl immediately disappeared, and she pulled back a few steps, golden eyes growing wide with surprise and confusion. Darius? Was it really him? Sure enough, she knew his scent, remembered his appearance, and knew there was only in the world like him. The leather wings, the golden light about his hooves, and that disheveled hair; Surely, it could be no other, especially as he took to chatting to her like they'd only been parted for hours instead of so long.
Time had changed him, that much she could tell. He looked rugged, and his smile seemed to harbor far less cheer than she remembered. "Darius...?" She repeated his name, as if to confirm that he was real and not some apparition. Her wings folded slowly, even as confusion turned into anger, and, at its heart, shame. She'd been found -- and she couldn't even begin to fathom that he had sought her out. Clearly, he must have simply stumbled upon her coincidentally-- no matter how far she had traveled.
"You shouldn't have come," she stated, not sure why he seemed so determined. Did he really think her lost? As if she'd be welcome back after turning hoof from all that good. And did she want to return? Hadn't she left for his sake? For all of them? She couldn't be trusted with her own bloodlust, and most importantly, with her feelings; for there had been stirrings in her heart by the time she took wing that she had felt certain were best to be abandoned.
Perhaps she was a coward, but she had thought to spare him. Now, she had to look upon him, and try to explain what had happened -- and that she would not be returning.
"I didn't lose my way. I left, and I thought that was made patently clear with my departure."
She sighed, looking away from the other. She didn't wish to explain herself further. "You look hungry. You should eat." She added with a grimace, stepping further away from Darius and her meal. A few mouthful wouldn't sate her hunger, but Darius looked a mess. Had he been hunting? Perhaps he'd made friends with the kill and let it away... He was gentle enough for it, she surmised.
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Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2022 8:53 pm
"Its....its been a long - long while but I didn't forget you either!" He exclaimed, clearing his throat and inhaling deeply to fill his chest and hopefully calm his breathing. "I'm glad you didn't forget my name..." Since clearly she forgot where the herdlands were! His eyes tracked her movements, the widening of her eyes, the anger slowly making its appearance in tense movements. Darius was not one to fully understand subtle body language was he watched it unfold before him, so he took another step forth to match the one she retreated.
Slowly his head tilted like the weight of her words had offset his very noggin, "Shouldn't have come...?" Soft vocals echoed in return. "Why wouldn't I come? I care about you...and Mama always told me you don't let those kinds of people go. You did go...but I found you! I'm sure it'll be okay now." Darius offered a brazen smile, but slowly it faded a little as she explained why she had left.
For some odd reason his parents expressions' came to mind, what was that....it didn't make his heart feel very good at the sight of it. Was it pity..? Was she looking at him the same way?
"Left? Our family comes and goes all the time....but they always come back. Were you not going to come back? Ever...?" Clear, perhaps. Darius clear? Certainly not. He didn't even register the kill, pointedly stepping over the carcass as his ears flattened along his hair. "Did I say something stupid? If...If I upset you its okay to tell me I'm being an idiot..." He was stammering, but not in his goofy, lackadaisy simple nature; no...he was flustered, unable to truly comprehend what was running through his mind and his heart. "I - I am not very smart but I can learn! I tracked you all the way here...I can certainly learn to be someone you want to stick around with!" Surely it had to be him...his family was infinitely more intelligent than he was and would know what it took not to make a mess of things as he must have done. They wouldn't have been the reason she left.
Darius' lanky but taller body buckled in his front legs, making an awkward kind of bow as he knelt with his head low. "Could...could you give me another chance...? I'll be better!" The stallion all but pleaded...feeling his chest tighten. "I...I was scared...when you left that I would be alone again.."
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2022 11:10 am
Mihr was still utterly shocked by the fact that Darius had found her. After all this time, after everything she'd done to protect him and his family, and to rid herself of his memory -- here he was, unknowingly dredging up old feelings, and guilt. Guilts wasn't a feeling Mihr typically allowed herself to feel, and yet, she had known exactly what she had done. The black stallion before her had been a sweet idiot, taking her to safety, opening up his family and his herd to give her a safe harbor to recuperate.
He had shown her goodness rarely bestowed to her, and she had repayed it by disappearing. Honestly, Mihr had thought it a kindness; surely, he would have forgotten her face, and found some new individual to fuss over. No, she was certain that her leaving was the right thing to do. She wasn't used to being around others, and bearing witness to the love and devotion the family had for one another had been uncomfortable at its best, and painful at its worst.
To hear Darius stammer and start, to disparage himself, caused a new anger to rise within Mihr. Not at him, but at herself. "I had left so you and your family need not be burdened with my presence. The herd was your home, Darius, not mine, and I--- I am not well suited to such crowded lands." Excuses, really, but they weren't a lie either. Perhaps she could have grown accustomed to them all-- but she hadn't given herself a chance. It didn't matter now. "I am sorry you spent all this time looking for me... But my leaving was done for the best." She couldn't tell him that he had nothing to change. She didn't need him to be different, or someone else; she didn't care about his wit or intelligence, didn't care about having him fit some mold. She liked him--cared about him--but that didn't mean she was right for him. She who was cold, aloof, mistrustful, and misguided... He deserved someone wholly good. But her feeling could be her secret. "Don't ever change--it wasn't you that I ran away from, if that helps." That at least was the truth. Darius had been nothing but good and sweet and kind; but Mihr's feelings had complicated a simple connection, and her feelings of jealousy, bitterness, and confusion had caused her to bolt. It was too much change, too quickly, for the mare... so she had returned to life as she knew it.
"Alone?" Mihr's temper flared and she stared incredulously at the stallion. "You, of all soquili, are anything but alone," she reminded with a small, bark of a laugh. Finding solace in that herd had been more of a trial than anything, though she had been able to seek some refuge with Kaliska. That mare had been a possible kindred spirit, at least in terms of being quiet and rather aloof. But Darius? "You have your herd, your family, your friends. You worry over nothing." Unlike Mihr, who had none of those things, and was uncomfortable at the notion of needing them. Certainly, they had been kind to her, good to her, generous-- but Mihr didn't trust herself, and certainly didn't trust that she would stay.
She had always been run out, or turned out, as soon as she needed to hunt or lost her temper in a moment's defensiveness. To see such benevolence both touched her heart and spooked her away--for she was not, and could not be, worthy of it. She was a monster,a beast, and could offer nothing to the herd that they didn't already have. She was not like them, and she never would be. Worse, she had found herself growing more comfortable, more familiar, and even fond of the very stallion who had sought her out! She would not be made a fool of, and she would not risk her heart--or his. Instead of complicating things, it was best to simply return to what she knew and to live a life alone.
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