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The scent of warm grass was strong in the air and seemed to overpower all else. Zulaica breathed it in happily, black coat soaking up the hot rays of afternoon sunlight as she moved through the Ukuucha'Wafalme lands. Her paw steps were quiet, her body already slipping into hunting mode. She always went off to hunt at the same time every day. She always returned aruond the same time every day, too. It was a routine. She liked routines. She had a schedule to keep as well.

Yusri'Kahlil's words of expectation continued to swirl through her head as she walked, her chest full of determination. She had responsibility. She had a Pad to serve. She had to provide for him and fulfill her duties as a Banu. Zulaica, being how she was, vehemently swore to go above and beyond the call of duty. Though he had not been her...first choice...she found she was coming to like him more and more. While love had no consequence to serving a Pad, it certainly helped Zulaica work harder to please Yusri.

It felt good to be on the hunt, especially by herself. She was sometimes glad that the other banu was half blind... That meant she could do things her way--The way that she planned. She could use her own hunting pattern, and instead of fearing that someone would screw up, if something went wrong, she could only blame herself. And she would be able to deal with that. At least, that was what she told herself. But, of course, nothing would go wrong. Everything would go well. Why wouldn't it? Zulaica was the one in charge, after all. She had plenty of experience with hunting. She had succeeded in bringing food home every day thus far. She had been making kills for her Pad for some time--ever since she had become his banu. Zulaica loved to hunt, and she loved even more to do things right for her Pad. And for herself...

Blue eyes moving over the tall grasses ahead, the green-marked lioness put her nose to the air, sniffing for prey. Her eyes flashed when she smelled a herd of Antelope, and the lioness set off in their direction quickly. The closer she got, the stealthier she became. Body low to the ground and tail curling behind her, the lioness crept carefully overtop a dirt mound. She made sure to stay perfectly hidden in the grasses. She made sure to stay perfectly still. She made sure not to take another step until she found an opening to attack.

And so she waited, watching as the herd of Antelope stumbled towards the horizon. Visions of her Pad's satisfied face upon receiving a carcass danced in her head, and the lioness couldn't help but flick her tail tip a little. But she remained silent and still, careful not to do anything to disturb the herd. Time passed, but Zulaica did not move. Then, after just a little while longer, her eyes locked on a target and she bolted off the dirt mount, the height of the mound to boost her speed. Dirt and grass flew up behind her, scattering in the air and blinding some of the herd. The female leaped and swerved as the beast ran, her teeth and claws itching to kill. But something surprising happened.

She tripped.

Stumbling, the lioness caught herself and scrambled back onto her feet, a cloud of dust rolling out in front of her. But by the time she had done that, her target was long gone.

Eyes shining and lips parted in shock, the lioness panted, her breaths hesitant as she mulled over what had just occurred. She was disappointed in herself, and the blow of failing hit her hard. She had not succeeded... But she would not give up so easily. The day was young and the herd was still present. They had carried themselves away quite a distance, but they were not out of reach. Just a little farther and she could catch up...She could still get a meal out of them.

So Zulaica set of to try again.

But once again she failed, fear of failing causing her to spring in the wrong timing. So she tried again.

And again.

And once again.

By this time, Zulaica's energy was running thin. She had to settle down and replenish some of her strength so that she could make another attempt. So she set off and did just that. She took a break underneath a tree, heart pounding and teeth clenched in frustration and disappointment. She was tired. And it was very hot. She could feel the dirt and grim covering her body, and it made her feel sick. Her claws kneaded in and out of the dirt beneath her paws as she took deep breaths, struggling to maintain her stamina. She could not fail. She would bring a meal home. But much time had passed. The sun was beginning to dip in the horizon, the sky splashed with blood-orange. Her daily schedule had been shattered, all routines crumbled and thrown into the wind. Hunting was not so quick a task for a single lioness...

No, no, it was good that she was by herself. She wouldn't complain. That was not her place. Her Pad had given her this responsibility, and she would fulfill his desires. She would provide him with meals each day. But continued failure was tearing her insides apart. Her body shook and her eyes shone with tears, jaw quivering in a taut line and pupils paper-thin, her stomach twisted in sick knots.

Shoving herself away from the tree, the lioness set off yet again after the herd. They were very far now, perhaps even far past the borders of the Ukuucha'Wafalme. But she was determined. She would not go home without a meal. But the more she walked, the more it felt wrong. She was not supposed to go that far...And the sun was setting. She should return home. She should return home...

NO!

She would NOT go home without a meal. She would not fail. She would not fail. She would not fail. SHE WOULD NOT FAIL.

The lioness burst into a break-neck run, determination reflected on her features. But she quickly slowed, muscles tired and aching. She slowed and slowed until she remained still, head bowed and bangs shielding her eyes. Her body was heaving with breaths and she knew she could no longer physically pursue the herd.

She had failed.

Body trembling violently, the lioness lifted her head, tears beginning to stream from her eyes as she glared murderously ahead. The hair bristled on her back and she bared her fangs, claws unsheathing. Oh, how she hated herself. How she hated that herd for not doing what she wanted them to...How she hated her failure. But her angered expression shifted and turned to despair. The mental image of the smiling face of her Pad had turned into a displeased one...She knew she would be punished. She would be punished because she had failed. But how could she return home with no food for him? No food...

Slowly, almost meekly, the lioness turned around and faced the direction of her pride. All signs of bubbling frustration and self-loathing had vanished. Her trembling had ceased, and her tears had stopped flowing, their wet tracks marring her once-perfect cheeks. She lifted a paw and placed it ahead of her, wincing as if it pained her to continue home--home to a disappointed Yusri, and painful punishment. But she did continue. She kept on walking, head bowed and shoulders slumped, defeated, hating herself, hating her imperfection and inability to change things and make them right. Her eyes seemed blank as she stared at the ground, tail dragging behind her.

...She would give him her own arm...

She would rather give him her own flesh to eat than go home with no food at all...

She would rather DIE than be imperfect--than to fail her duty...than to fail HIM.


SHE WOULD RATHER DIE!