[PRP] Certain as sun...(A’mir / G’nik)

[Thaliawen]

G’nik hadn’t liked being very far from his love’s side since Threadfall... He’d thought for sure that he was going to lose A’mir, and he had never been able to put words to how he felt. Helpless, but it was more than that; guilt. If only he’d been there. If only he’d been...

And so, he’d taken to following A’mir during restdays. At least, making excuses to be around him. Today, he planned on inviting A’mir to watch the sunset this evening. It was warm enough and the sun stayed up long enough that it would be a nice way to end the day.

“A’mir? You around?”  

[Avid_RPer18]

A'mir had made a point to keep busy once he was cleared by the Healer Hall that he had recovered sufficiently enough to resume his duties, so long as he kept them in the loop of any significant changes. The bluerider was keen on getting back into things. After all, why shouldn't he? He hadn't lost anything, save for some flexibility in that leg, but he was working on it. He had lived. Talanth made it through unscathed. G'nik and Dazalth did too. And now they had an actual home, a place to lay down some roots. A place they could be safer than wandering the roads and skies. Maybe it was time, maybe even overdue. He wasn't a young man any longer. A brush with that silvery death makes you consider such things.

For his part, even though it was a restday, A'mir didn't want to spend it idle. He had gotten up early to go for a walk, to swim some for the gentle use of his leg. After exercising, he bathed himself, bathed and oiled Talanth. Otherwise, he just filled his day with little things to do, stopping to eat or maybe reading a little. The latter of which he had been doing stretched out on the snoozing Talanth's back when he heard G'nik's voice inquiring after him. He quietly closed his book, laying flat on his chest. A'mir was quite aware that his husband and weyrmate had taken to following him around, conveniently popping up just because, or 'Oh, I didn't know you'd be here'. No. G'nik was following him around like a concerned puppy. Too much worrying, in A'mir's opinion. His love wasn't doing the things that he used to find enjoyment from anyway. G'nik wasn't acting himself, avoiding his friends, solely to hover over him like a mother wherry. It bothered him. It bothered him a lot. A'mir was happy to pick himself up and keep moving forward after his injury, but G'nik seemed to be just stuck in that moment, like he was still lingering by his bed in the Healer Hall.

Sighing softly, he turned onto his side. "Yeah, I'm around. Just reading." The riders' speaking stirred Talanth into wakefulness, who dipped his head low to gently nuzzle G'nik in greeting.

Thaliawen

 

[Thaliawen]

Oh? G'nik smiled, "I thought we could go to the shore and spend the rest of the evening there," he invited. "We could have the kitchen folk make us something quick and have a picnic, watch the sunset...Maybe see some dolphins?" He stroked Talanth, and reached to scratch at his eye ridges. "You'd like to fly, wouldn't you, Tal?"

He figured Dazalth would be nearby, but the blue wasn't to be seen.

You have a need to be where they are at all times, I do not, the blue said, then. You will drive them away, mine. And then you'll feel worse.

We're going to the shore, you can swim. When in doubt, use water to convince Dazalth to do something.

I don't know what he sees in you. It was several moments before the blue landed near Talanth. Swim with me, Talanth?  

[Avid_RPer18]

Taking a moment to answer and looking around at the gradually shifting colors of the sky, A'mir hummed thoughtfully. It was getting to be about that time, wasn't it? It had been some hours since he had eaten lunch. Perhaps the picnic would give them a more private opportunity to discuss things than if they had dinner in the dining hall. The air had to be cleared. He didn't want to start really resenting his husband's presence. Maybe he could try to tactfully bring up a suggestion of having G'nik meet with a mind healer? Yeah, that'd probably go over so well. Still, it needed to be said sooner rather than later. He frowned at the prospect but steeled himself and pushed himself into a sitting position to look down to G'nik greeting Talanth.

Talanth rumbled pleasantly at the scratches and the question. He was amiable, sure! He could use some more stretching. He had eaten earlier and would be fine for a good while. Post nap, the blue felt energized.

A'mir carefully made his way down with book in hand, which was easy since Talanth's head was still low. Made for an easy descent. Smoothing his clothes upon reaching the ground, he patted his bondmate's shoulder. 'Thanks for reading with me.' He smiled up to the blue as Talanth lifted his head to watch Dazalth come in to land.

'Any time, mine. Want me to keep close at dinner?' He knew his rider's frustration and felt the nugget of anxiety at the thought of picnic.

A'mir shook his head by way of answer for the blue. "Hey, Dazalth." Shifting his focus to his weyrmate, he folded his arms, clutching his book to his chest. "Tell you what, G'nik. How about I run this book back to the weyr, you grab the food and such from the kitchens, and we can meet up on the beach? Maybe someplace nice and secluded?"

Rising to his feet, Talanth shook himself, giving his wings a slow stretch above him, before settling them neatly upon his back. I would be delighted to, Dazalth. Shall we keep an eye on Ours, in case they need us to intercede?'

Thaliawen

 

[Thaliawen]

Run and get food? A'mir's strategy made sense. G'nik gave a smile and a nod. "Alright, I'll meet you on the beach," he agreed. Nice and secluded... Maybe he'd grab a blanket and some wine, he was hoping for something romantic. It'd been a while since they'd been able to do anything like this. He gave another smile and headed towards the kitchens.

Maybe he could request some of A'mir's favorite dishes, too.

Sorry about all this, Dazalth looked to A'mir, and then Talanth. I tried to tell him. He doesn't always listen. He rumbled an agreement to Talanth's words; yes, they'd wait and see if theirs needed help. It'll be nice to swim, he said then.  

[Avid_RPer18]

"Alright, good," A'mir agreed with a slight echoed nod. "I'll see you shortly, G'nik." He remained rooted to the spot while he watched his weyrmate head off in the directions of the kitchens. That'll give him a little more time to ponder on what he wanted to say and how best to say it. He wasn't going to run off toward their shared weyr, just take his time. G'nik looked genuinely excited for a private beach date. The twinge of guilt didn't pair well with the nerves that were wreaking havoc with his empty stomach. Oof.

'It's okay, Dazalth. I'll try to talk to him tonight over dinner. I know you've been seeing it too. He's almost...I don't know...Stuck? I want to put that close call behind us and it's been feeling as though that's all he's hanging on to sometimes.' Taking a slow, deep breath, he looked up to the two blues and offered a little grin. "You two have fun swimming. Talanth and I went earlier and the water felt perfect. It'll be even prettier with that sun setting. Go have a good time!" With that, off he turned, heading back to their joint weyr. He mulled over how to broach the subject. When to do so. What would G'nik want to talk about? A'mir didn't want to just leave the matter hovering over their heads as though nothing was wrong.

Talanth concurred. 'Let's find a spot in the water near enough to keep an eye on them but not so close that they'd catch on that we're keeping a watch over them!' He backed up a few paces to allow some more room for take off for himself and Dazalth, beat his wings, and took to the skies, rising before wheeling toward some of the more shady stretches of beach. 'Dazalth, let me know if you see where Ours have set down to eat.'

Upon returning home, he deposited his book with his modest collection and took a moment to drink in their shared dwelling space. Since his injury, it hadn't been cleaned as often as he'd fancy. Maybe, if things went okay, he could suggest he and G'nik do a straighten up together. Share the work, share the reward, maybe grab a drink or a treat afterward. Not tonight though, and, depending on how dinner went, maybe not in the next few days, but soon. Didn't matter right now. He couldn't leave G'nik waiting too long lest he start hunting him down again. A'mir made his way down to the beach and kicked his boots off upon reaching the sand, tucking them under his arm.

Thaliawen

 

[Thaliawen]

Yes. Dazalth agreed. He worried for his, and his worried for Talanth’s. Mine often worries for you. He’s happier today. His tone became serious. Please do not upset mine too much.

G’nik had gathered a wine skin and a bag of food. He was grinning as he made his way towards the beach, blanket over one shoulder.


I see mine, Talanth. He’s headed to the left of us. He is carrying many things. Will yours be happy then?  

[Avid_RPer18]

Oh, don't worry, Dazalth. A'mir had every intention on trying to tread lightly and approach the subject tactfully. He wasn't wanting a huge fight. That was the absolute last thing he wanted. He was wanting clarity though. For a good chunk of his life he had learned to hide himself, obfuscate his thoughts and feelings, hold back everything he might have had to share. Head down, don't give straight answers if you could. Vagueness was key, or at least it had been in his youth. No. He and G'nik had been together for a couple of decades now. He out of anyone deserved to know what exactly was on his mind. That's what G'nik signed up for when they got involved. It had taken enough effort on the other bluerider's part, after all. A'mir was ready to come clean. He just hoped that he'd be strong enough to handle G'nik's reaction, whatever it may be.

Talanth focused in where Dazalth was looking and rumbled at locating G'nik as well. 'I see him. Let's not swim too close to the beach, but near enough to see. The weather is calm enough, so I think we could maybe even hear them at that distance, if we're lucky. What do you think?' The blue scanned further down the beach and spotted his rider. 'Mine seems to have settled in a spot there. Shady, but away from most of the other beach goers.'

A'mir sat in the sand, his boots carefully set against a nearby rock to avoid sand getting into them as much as possible. His knees were drawn up closer his chest and his arms were folded across the top of his knees. He gazed out over the water, watching the gentle lap of the waves against the shore, using the tide to help try to calm his nerves. Tide and breathe in...Tide and breathe out. In his contemplative state, he wasn't aware of G'nik's approach, or the circling spying of their bondmates. He was lost to his thoughts and the sound of the tides.

Thaliawen

 

[Thaliawen]

Dazalth gave a sound of agreement. Swimming too close would alert G’nik to them listening in, and that was the last thing they wanted. Do you think ours will fight? I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep without you there, Talanth... What if theirs seperated? They’d been together for so long... Dazalth didn’t like to think of it as a possibility.

It took a while for G’nik to find A’mir, but he was cheerfully enjoying the sounds of the waves. Beautiful, and the sun shining on them reminded him of Dazalth’s eyes when the blue was in a playful mood.

“Hey, Love! I brought wine,” he said, when he spotted A’mir. “The kitchens gave me roast wherry!” He was delighted. “We have bread, too, we could make sandwiches.” He took a moment to spread the blanket out and looked towards the waves. “They’re beautiful.”  

[Avid_RPer18]

'I don't know, Dazalth. Maybe, though I hope they'll come to an understanding without one. Mine is hoping to avoid a fight, but has braced himself just in case. This has been weighing on him.' Talanth banked his wings and gradually circled down to land in the water, a decent way out from the shore, but within easy sight of the beach. 'Let's act nonchalant.' The blue paddled around to watch Dazalth come in for a landing and give him room as well.

While his expression was the picture of serenity, the fact that he had laced his fingers together to help disguise the face that the benign tremor in his hands was acting up. He was nervous. "Hello, dear. Wine would be wonderful. Just the thing to go with this view. The kitchens really seem to have outdone themselves today." Roast wherry sandwiches did sound good too. A'mir waited for the blanket to be laid out before moving himself to the blanket, dusting the soft sand off of himself before sitting back down. "Yeah, they are. Really, the weather is pretty perfect today. Did you have a good day today?"

Thaliawen

 

[Thaliawen]

I hope they don’t fight. Dazalth fretted, before giving a sound of agreement. That’s probably best. He was pretty sure they were doomed.

“It was a pretty good day, I think. I talked to some people, met a weyrling. It’s hard to believe Dazalth was ever that small.” And yet the day he’d Impressed Dazalth was right their in his memory, like it’d been yesterday. G’nik paused and studied his love for a moment. “Are you alright?” He asked. Was something wrong? He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was bothering A’mir. They’d been together so long that he knew A’mir’s tells better than anyone.

“Did something happen today?”  

[Avid_RPer18]

A'mir nodded where appropriate, doing more thinking than listening. What would be the best way to bring it up? Before or after dinner? During? Quick or easing it in by mentioning something round about that idea? It was just eating at him. Mention of Dazalth being small brought him back into the conversation. He smiled at the memory of their weyrlinghood. "It still sometimes seems like yesterday when we graduated." The question directed at him made a lump form in his throat. Oh. Clasping his hands together, wringing and massaging his fingers and palms to give his hands to do something to do. He chuckled and cleared his throat. "Oh, no. Nothing happened today. I've just had a lot on my mind lately is all. Um...I guess food can wait for a moment."

Turning and pushing himself to sit on his heels, adjusting slightly to not sit so fully on his one knee, he sighed softly, looking into his husband and weyrmate's eyes. "G'nik, come sit with me, please." He held out his hands, palms up as an invitation.

Thaliawen

 

[Thaliawen]

“Yeah, it does,” G’nik agreed with a smile. He remembered that moment; he’d been so proud. He’d looked so eagerly to the future. He hesitated, smile dropping slightly as he watched his love. A lot on his mind? So so something was bothering him! But what?

He sat down, moving to his kneels and closer to A’mir. He took his hands. “What’s wrong, love?” He asked.  

[Avid_RPer18]

A’mir gently, nervously squeezed G’nik’s hands when they found their way into his. After a brief moment of pondering how best to begin, he took a slow, deep inhale and sighed his exhale. Here went nothing. He licked his lips and then began. “G’nik, darling, light of my life...What I’ve had on my mind is you. I’ve noticed how you’ve been following me and going out of your way to do so at that. You don’t have to keep an eye on me. I feel as though you’re forgetting yourself with how much you’ve been putting aside to just follow after me. I don’t want you to worry so much for me. I’m back to work. I’ve been cleared by the Healer Hall. I lived and am ready to keep moving forward with my life. I worry that you are...I don’t know, stuck? Like you’ve not left that bedside in the ward. I know we’re married and weyrmates. We’ve been through a lot together. You’re not acting like the man I married. You’ve been skipping out on spending time with your friends just to lurk around me. It bothers me that you’re dropping so much just to do so. G’nik, please, I don’t need you to constantly watch after me. You’re not living your life by watching over mine so closely. You’ve given up your independence by trying to monitor mine. I love you but I don’t need the watching...”

The words just ran from him and after just spilling his thoughts, the man fell into uncomfortable silence with a furrowed brow. Was it too much? Would G’nik be offended? Angry? Upset or hurt? Probably. Hhrgh. Perhaps he should have suggested dinner or drinks first? All he knew was that his throat felt suddenly parched and no amount of swallowing seemed to be helping.

Thaliawen

 

[Thaliawen]

After A’mir’s spiel, G’nik was quiet for a long time. His eyes had gone wide, and his hands had freed themselves from A’mir’s. “Ah...” he said, and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. He looked away from his husband, seeming unsure of what to say.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, then. “I’ll try to be the man you married.” But, wasn’t he still? He just... he couldn’t help worrying over A’mir. He’d nearly lost him. He couldn’t let that happen again. How did he say that without angering his husband? Amir would never understand.

...He poured himself a glass of wine, looking at A’mir over it as he took a sip. I’m sorry you feel like I’ve been watching over you unnecessarily.”