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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:05 pm
Against my ex.
He still has compromising photos of me on his phone that he took which he refuses to delete, and is lording it over my head that if I "step out of line" by doing something to upset him like bringing another guy over to the apartment (I've told him I don't give a s**t who he brings over, so it seems ridiculous and over-controlling that HE has a say over MY life), he'll leak them on the internet and destroy my career. Michigan doesn't have an explicit law for that s**t yet, but I guess there are some internet harassment clauses that could be used against him.
Ugh, this is a mess. emotion_facepalm At first I was trying to just be civil and brush it under the rug and not step on any toes, but this isn't right. I realize that now. He's being manipulative and he has no right to that authority over me and I'm sick of it.
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:25 pm
Wow, that is seriously inappropriate of him. neutral
Though I'm sorta confused because you have been having sexual relations with multiple partners, right? He's okay with that but not with bringing other guys over?
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:28 pm
Zphal Wow, that is seriously inappropriate of him. neutral Though I'm sorta confused because you have been having sexual relations with multiple partners, right? He's okay with that but not with bringing other guys over? He and I aren't even together anymore, he has no right to even know about my sexual behavior unless I tell him. He understands that I've been active since the breakup, but he is adamant about this supposed rule that I'M not allowed to bring any other guy over, even though I haven't made any similar rules for HIM.
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:32 pm
Hiddochi wolf Zphal Wow, that is seriously inappropriate of him. neutral Though I'm sorta confused because you have been having sexual relations with multiple partners, right? He's okay with that but not with bringing other guys over? He and I aren't even together anymore, he has no right to even know about my sexual behavior unless I tell him. He understands that I've been active since the breakup, but he is adamant about this supposed rule that I'M not allowed to bring any other guy over, even though I haven't made any similar rules for HIM. Yeah so really it's him not taking the break-up well and not being a mature adult. neutral Was this the one who was mildly autistic? Not that I blame that fully, just that it might play a factor. >_> So are you two still stuck in the same living space rn?
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:41 pm
Zphal Hiddochi wolf Zphal Wow, that is seriously inappropriate of him. neutral Though I'm sorta confused because you have been having sexual relations with multiple partners, right? He's okay with that but not with bringing other guys over? He and I aren't even together anymore, he has no right to even know about my sexual behavior unless I tell him. He understands that I've been active since the breakup, but he is adamant about this supposed rule that I'M not allowed to bring any other guy over, even though I haven't made any similar rules for HIM. Yeah so really it's him not taking the break-up well and not being a mature adult. neutral Was this the one who was mildly autistic? Not that I blame that fully, just that it might play a factor. >_> So are you two still stuck in the same living space rn? No, this one is definitely 100% cognitively normal, just vindictive and controlling. Yup, we're stuck in the same apartment (separate rooms thank Pluto) until May, unless I can get him booted somehow. Things were actually going really good for a little while, we got back onto friendly terms and resumed hanging out. It started to get physical again, and we had made plans to sorta be FWB without a relationship just as an outlet for each other's needs, but the instant I told him I have a date tonight with somebody else he got all huffy and told me "we're still going to have sex soon, too much has gone into this now and I know how you feel about being poly. And remember that you're not allowed to bring any guys over here." And like, now I don't even want ANYTHING to do with him, it's all so ******** up and it's not okay. I feel like I'm being violated.
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:47 pm
Hiddochi wolf Zphal Hiddochi wolf Zphal Wow, that is seriously inappropriate of him. neutral Though I'm sorta confused because you have been having sexual relations with multiple partners, right? He's okay with that but not with bringing other guys over? He and I aren't even together anymore, he has no right to even know about my sexual behavior unless I tell him. He understands that I've been active since the breakup, but he is adamant about this supposed rule that I'M not allowed to bring any other guy over, even though I haven't made any similar rules for HIM. Yeah so really it's him not taking the break-up well and not being a mature adult. neutral Was this the one who was mildly autistic? Not that I blame that fully, just that it might play a factor. >_> So are you two still stuck in the same living space rn? No, this one is definitely 100% cognitively normal, just vindictive and controlling. Yup, we're stuck in the same apartment (separate rooms thank Pluto) until May, unless I can get him booted somehow. Things were actually going really good for a little while, we got back onto friendly terms and resumed hanging out. It started to get physical again, and we had made plans to sorta be FWB without a relationship just as an outlet for each other's needs, but the instant I told him I have a date tonight with somebody else he got all huffy and told me "we're still going to have sex soon, too much has gone into this now and I know how you feel about being poly. And remember that you're not allowed to bring any guys over here." And like, now I don't even want ANYTHING to do with him, it's all so ******** up and it's not okay. I feel like I'm being violated. *Forehead slap* He needs to be able to differentiate his feelings from reality and not impose them on you when there wasn't an agreement to pursue a relationship. DX That's really hardcore frustrating; I'm sorry to hear it. And I hope you can figure something out, be it new living arrangements or getting him to not be a derptastic p***k.
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Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:26 pm
What a ******** scumbag d**k donkey. I'm so sorry you're going through that. I'd call the cops. I'm pretty sure cyber threats like that are illegal.
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 3:23 pm
Sorry to hear you're having to deal with all of that. It sounds like he's having trouble moving on from the relationship and probably not fully accepting the sexual lifestyle you've chosen (hence the green-eyed monster rearing up its ugly head at the mention of other guys).
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Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 1:07 pm
what if you just say go ahead, so what?
if you were not committing some crime, i bet most people would soon forget about it.
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 12:13 pm
Update:
I filed a police report at the recommendation of my counselor, and they gave him a stern talking to warning him that if he shared those photos with even one soul, it'd be a felony with a minimum of 2 years time.
The three of us living together had an awkward conversation that night, he showed me his phone and the fact that the photos were all gone. I have no idea WHEN he deleted them, if it was that very day or months prior, who knows. We told him he has the rest of this month to find a new place and move out. I don't know how seriously he took us; I'm not sure if he's actually searching for new residences, but ready or not he's leaving.
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 2:26 pm
Hopefully everything works out in the end.
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2017 3:06 pm
Hiddochi wolf Update: I filed a police report at the recommendation of my counselor, and they gave him a stern talking to warning him that if he shared those photos with even one soul, it'd be a felony with a minimum of 2 years time. The three of us living together had an awkward conversation that night, he showed me his phone and the fact that the photos were all gone. I have no idea WHEN he deleted them, if it was that very day or months prior, who knows. We told him he has the rest of this month to find a new place and move out. I don't know how seriously he took us; I'm not sure if he's actually searching for new residences, but ready or not he's leaving. Good! At least we know his a** will rot in jail for a while if he pulls anything. ******** a*****e. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 8:13 am
Holy s**t, it sounds like he turned into a complete and total douchecanoe. I'm glad that you stood up to him and filed a report. Though, I think giving him a month is a little too generous than he deserves. Should have just kicked the a*****e out right then and there, but good on you for being the better person and giving him the chance to find another place to live.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 9:58 am
wolf_with_a_dragon Holy s**t, it sounds like he turned into a complete and total douchecanoe. I'm glad that you stood up to him and filed a report. Though, I think giving him a month is a little too generous than he deserves. Should have just kicked the a*****e out right then and there, but good on you for being the better person and giving him the chance to find another place to live. The month will pass by quicker than you think.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2017 10:33 am
Prof. Moonie wolf_with_a_dragon Holy s**t, it sounds like he turned into a complete and total douchecanoe. I'm glad that you stood up to him and filed a report. Though, I think giving him a month is a little too generous than he deserves. Should have just kicked the a*****e out right then and there, but good on you for being the better person and giving him the chance to find another place to live. The month will pass by quicker than you think. This is true. But it would still be 30 more days longer than I would have liked myself.
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