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 Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 5:05 pm
I am enaged to a man for over two years. I truely love him, but he is 30 years older than me. Anyway he has health problems. His on diaylisis, high blood pressure, diabetic, hearing problems, etc. I knew he had health problems when I was dating him and I fell in love, but I wasn't thinking.
Now I realize this probably won't work out. With his problems, he can't have children and he is on disability so we can't marry for 4 years.
I can say love is blind, but now I don't know what I should do. I still love him, but some things he does bothers me and I start small fights for no reason.
What should I do? I know in the end it's up to me, but I just wand to hear what you have to say.
Thanks for reading this. I hope it makes sense.
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Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2010 6:59 am
If you love this man and want to have a relationship with him, you need to make sure that you are more than just his caretaker. This might involve making sure you have a support network to take some of the burden off you. Otherwise your resentment will continue to grow. Let's face it, caretakers get worn out!
If, however, you really feel that you cannot make a relationship work with this man, you owe it to him to make the break sooner, rather than later. It won't be easy no matter when you do it, but it wouldn't be right to string him along either. And it wouldn't be fair to you to hang on if you know it isn't going to work.
I wish you the very best--you have a very hard decision to make.
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Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2010 12:41 pm
I agree, besides you have the rest of your life to live and find love again. You don't want to spend you better years caring for a person who is in the decline and understandable you love him, but if he loves you too he will not want you to waste your youth on him.
you need to look at the big picture what you want in your life. Think ten years in the future, 20 years, look at what you would have wanted and couldn't achieve.
30 year age gap is huge. Love may be blind but you as a person must take into consideration that some things are just not meant to be confused
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