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 Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:03 pm
My friend of 5 years recently came out and chose not to tell me because he considers me a "homophobe."
I'm not, I just disagree with the choice, and, yes, I think it's a choice, and all this is based on religious belief, not disrespect or ignorance.
I recently found out, and I tried to stay calm, but I was really upset he had decided to just not tell me. We talk sometimes now, but things are awkward. We have just one class together this coming year - it's depressing, actually, it's the first year since we've known each other that we don't have English class together - and I feel like it's going to be super awkward between us.
Can you think of anything that might re-break the ice between us?
PS, any comments flaming my religion will be equally returned, thankyou.
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Posted: Sat Jul 11, 2009 5:08 pm
maybe try talk to him about that
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Lavender-the-9-tailed-fox
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 6:45 am
I'm not trying to bash on you for your beliefs, trust me, I don't mind about what you believe. It's just, that it actually isn't a choice. People fall in love with other people and it's not always the opposite gender. He probably considered you a homophobe because you believe it's a choice. He's probably upset about that so he didn't tell you. Try to be a bit more open and understanding of the situation and he might possibly come around. I've been around gay people all my life, and I know they don't like it when people say they choose to be this way. Why would they purposely choose to be gay when they get hated, and even killed for it?(My best friend's brother was murdered because he was gay!) I don't think anyone would choose that way of life, thank you very much. So, try to at least, be able to talk about the situation without referring it as "a choice".
Go ahead, I don't mind if you keep thinking that it's a choice, I can't stop you, and I won't say, anything like "You're so dumb" Or something stupid like that. I'm just stating facts that I've known though all my gay friends, and the fact that I'm definitely into males. Despite being a transsexual (in a few years f2m). So I'm gay. I guess. xp
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 12:22 pm
if talking to him doesnt help, then try hangging out more and put aside his oreintaion. Talk about yalls intrests and let this go by. move on
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Posted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 11:40 pm
I understand why he wouldn't tell you. He was probably afraid that you wouldn't accept him because of your views. I think you should talk to him and let him know that you will accept him for who he is.
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Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:23 am
V personally agrees with what other people have said, be accepting don't bring up any issues with it and just act how you used to, be friends again other than that I'm not sure there's much else I can say aside from what I just said 'Be a friend' and do try to be accepting and non-ridiculing/intimidating that may have been why he didn't come out in the first place because he was scared of losing a friend.
Also interesting fact their have been scientific studies into sexuality and genetics that actually point out a person's sexuality may indeed be defined by their genes and with less than 5% of our genetic code being understood I wouldn't rule that out that your friend didn't exactly 'choose' it.
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