|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:11 pm
I've been dealing with this for a long time. I am 14 and a boy. I am so confused about my sexual orientation. I don't know whether I'm straight, gay or bi. I have no where, and no one to talk to about this. My friends all pretty much joke about this too much, as if they disapprove of it so I can't talk to them. My family can deal with it but from experience, I learned that they talk about it badly behind the person's back.
I know, experiment right. Well I don't want to do it with anyone of my friends, or family, or anyone who knows them to find out. Also, I am a Catholic and I somewhat take my religion to heart so I'm scared of actually trying anything. I really have no idea what to do. How do I find out what I am? Who am I?
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 10:26 am
i feel for you, i really do. heart I'm bisexual and i found out early too. All i can say to you is if you're afraid to experiment, why don't you try looking at some pictures and seeing if they interest you sexually?
Also i'm confused as to the problems, but that should help either way. Look at pictures of both males and females and see what excites you most. If you're bisexual you'll find that both are equally as exciting but most people tend to be "swayed" in one direction. For instance, my best friend is wholeheartedly bisexual, but he's of more gay orientation. I think its just what's more available to him though.
Try the pictures though, websites, that sort of thing to see if it helps.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 3:12 pm
i had som really good advice for you all up untill the religous part....(im gay btw) so usually i would say blow off religon. do what you must. but if you are seriously bi or gay, you should just let it happen. be who you are and ignore the rest.
so my point is be comfortable bout yourself. and that other girl's advice was great too.
be sure to check out guy and girl porn photos and compare how you felt bout them both. tell me bout it later. im curious to know how it works out for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 20, 2009 7:04 pm
You should probably take your time about finding your sexuality (meaning don't jump straight in, heh) but I agree with the others - people can usually find their sexuality by seeing if they are sexually attracted to certain pictures.
Best of luck, hope I helped !!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lavender-the-9-tailed-fox
|
Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2009 2:55 pm
Hey don't tell him to look at porn pics! gonk
You said your 14 right? Same here. You know what? Take your time in figuring it out, wait to see who you crush on. If you crush on a guy, then, gay or bi, a girl, straight or bi.....don't rush it. It ain't no big deal. I'm straight out transsexual gay boy and I screwed my religion over. I'm catholic too, sad to say it though, always hated it.
Glad you like it- but thing is, if your "God" can't accept who you are, and tries to make you something your not- he's not a good God and you shouldn't listen to him if he's gonna be that way. It's not fair. >__< What I do is believe in God, but as a holy figure in which accepts all humans for who they are- as long as they don't murder or something horrible like that. Hope I helped. Seriously dude though, don't look at porn pictures and don't rush it. Let it come natrually. Porn is for losers!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat May 09, 2009 4:19 pm
You 14 years old so I agree about taking your time. You will figure it out, but you don't need to rush. When the time comes you will know what is right for you.
The picture idea (not the porn) sounds good.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 9:09 am
From this old lady (well, I'm 30 anyway) to your young eyes:
Life is a long road and it's stretched on forever when you're 14.
Every obstacle is a huge mountain to climb.
Seriously, you probably won't be able to hear what I'm saying now but, you're going to look back and wish you had savoured every moment it took to get to the point where you end up looking back and wishing.
You're confused and isolated now but, as you get older you'll have the opportunity to branch out and try new things. These folks are telling you to look at pictures. Not necessarily pornographic (I also cannot tell you to do this because you're not "legally" old enough to!)
Search yourself and think about the way you feel.
As for religion, I'm not a Christian myself. I think, though, if there is a God that this god loves you no matter what.
Do what feels right to you and take your time. Be forgiving of yourself and remember to step back and just breathe.
Remember this too: billions of humans have gone through what you're going through. Youthful confusion and doubt. We made it to adulthood. You will too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun May 24, 2009 7:53 am
be yourself and take time, it'll come out eventually
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jun 10, 2009 8:57 pm
hey i really do feel for you. But my thing is that you're 14, you have your whole life ahead of you to look and experiment. i mean live your life to the fullest and enjoy being who you are right now, have fun. For young teens, or well for everyone actually, the social scene is putting huge pressure on eveyone. Most kids only date because they think it would make them "popular", but trust me, dating young isnt fun anyways. If you're really looking into this then figure it out slowly...take your time. I dont think the porn picture idea is really that good, but thats just my opinion, if your gunna try something just try pictures. And for the religion situation, "god" is supposed to love everyone for who they are, not for what people want them to be. So be yourself. And if your friends are really your friends then it shouldnt matter to them. If you want to talk, im here and i'll listen. good luck dude =]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 3:45 am
Hmm... well, to tell you the truth, my experience when it comes to sexual confusion almost exactly matches yours, except that I'm a girl and my family's more accepting of homosexuality (to an extent). So, when I saw this post, I felt compelled to give you some advice.
First, I would agree with Lavender about seeing who you crush on (whether your crush be guy or girl), but honestly, I wouldn't recommend the use of this method until you've had at least say, five crushes (you can tell trends in what you like better when the number is higher).
Then, once you get older, look at some pictures (with your age at the moment, I'd say PG-13 or R pictures in a couple years) to see what you're attracted to. I'd also recommend reading some fiction, whether it be fan-written or original, which explores some of the concepts you're worried about (such as sexual confusion, and, if you do figure out you're gay or bisexual, coming out to your family); it sounds ridiculous, but it helps.
After that, tell only your closest friends about your sexual confusion; you'd be surprised how understanding they can be once they see that their friend is feeling confused about such issues; it removes fears that they're alone (that's from experience). Also, if you can tell anybody, it helps. When I told my closest friends about my sexual confusion, they completely understood, and helped me feel not so alone in that area. It may be a different experience for you because you're a boy (yeah, I know it sounds blunt, but...), but still, make sure the friend you tell won't tell your parents.
Also, I do have to agree that trying to place a permanent label on your sexuality in your teens is not the best idea. If I know anything, it is that sexuality is a fluid thing, and that it changes in time.
Finally, if you believe your religion is an important part of your life, do not screw it over, even if you do figure out you're gay or bisexual. I know that there are some Catholics (which, by the way, DON'T represent every Catholic in the world!) who are homophobic and will condemn you for your sexuality, but there are homophobes in every religion, even atheism (yes, I do count that as a religion). Additionally, I know very well and from experience that there is a lot of pressure from others to stop being religious if you discover that you're not straight; don't give in to that pressure, because there is a way to reconcile your religious beliefs and your sexuality, and that is that God created you the way you are, thus he loves you the way you are, and believes that made you perfectly the way you are, sexuality and all. I wish you the best of luck, and I hope everything turns out wonderfully for you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 3:04 pm
honestly, i have been there too. but, im straight. i am a girl obviously, but i tend to have a boyish side too. whatever you decide is normal. and honestly too, i think you souldnt rush. just dont be scared when you discover the truth. i was scared too.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:08 pm
Hey Gaberiel! Listen... Im 13 and I am going through the same exact thing. I dont know my sexuality either... Lesbian, Bisexual, or Straight... personally Im going to wait until hormones die off a little before I make my mind set up. And personally I call myself Bisexual because Im not yet sure... you see when youre bisexual you can take a pic of each side. Listen here is a big decider (so says my openly gay best friend) is if you have kissed a guy and it feels right ten it is... but if you find kissing a girl is better than it is... here is another key: do you actually think you have a crush on a guy? if no than stick with the straight until you think you do...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 7:32 pm
Don't be in a rush you will find out when the time is right. You are still pretty young and have more than enough time to find out. Just one piece of advice. Don't lie to yourself. If you find out that you are attracted to the same sex don't try to shrug it off or you will never be happy. I'm catholic too but i have different views. I really don't think that you will be condemned or anything if you end up liking someone of the same sex. How can loving someone be a sin?
I wish you luck. Try not to worry about it too much.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:42 am
I agree with some of the stuff other people are saying here; ie, look at pictures, see who you crush on, et cetera. But mainly, my advice is this:
Ask yourself why it matters.
It is okay if you are gay, or bi, or straight, or even pansexual. You try to be a good person and that's what counts. I'm assuming you don't like anyone right now, so you don't really need to worry about it right now.
Think about it. You don't really need to define who you are by a definition of which genders you are or aren't attracted to you. All you need to know is that you are you, and you will always be you whoever you end up falling in love with.
Whatever you like is okay. But it's not really about liking boys or girls. Because every boy or girl is the same thing: a person. A unique person. You are a person who is attracted to people. (Presumably. I'm assuming here that you're not asexual, which is a possibility.) Anyway, the point is, when you find out what your sexuality is then you'll know. But for now, you can just be you and not restrict yourself with any labels.
:3 Hope I helped.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:00 am
Take your time, and listen to your heart. Looking at pictures(not porn) is helpful, but not really fool-proof. You will learn your sexuality whenever your most ready, yes?
I really respect you for sticking to your beliefs like that smile . I don't approve of the "blow-it-off-if-it-doesn't-fit-your-mood" idea going around, so kudos, my friend. Remember, you are exactly who your God created you to be, so long as you hold true to your own beliefs on what is good. If your gay or bi, then I believe you were meant to be as such, and you can't really change that fact. Religion is a sacred thing that should be honored, but the details can't sometimes be fuzzy. Considering how man is always shaping things his way in order to fit his needs or wants, it makes sense to me that we really can't get it all right. There are still many mysteries in the world, and I think that being gay/straight/bi is something between you and your God, so pray about it and see what you feel is right for you to do about it.
Hope I was helpful(sorry if it's a bit weird, I'm very tired right now).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
