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 Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:02 pm
Ok, So I recently I had been dating this kid for a little over a year. He lived about an hour away, so the distance kind of sucked, but you'd think after a year.. hey you know we got this. we can handle it. And you know we had our fights here and there, and they usually we would patch things up again. Things would be fine.
So, he had this friend, a girl that lived in another state that used to live where both him and I do. They had been really close friends, and called each other brother and sister. however, to me things seemed to be that they wanted a bit MORE than friendship with one another.This feeling didn't start occurring until about a month ago before s**t started to hit the fan. And i got jealous of course, and tried talking to him about it. That ended up leading to problems.
So, eventually the guy is like.. "hey i think we should take a break, this distance is getting to much for me.But I still love you,and I care about you. I just need time to think things over." We broke up, and we are friends..
However, he has been getting attached and announced basically to everyone and anyone that he likes this girl that lives in another state.
So he's moved on. But still says.. when I say that he had lied to me about what he said.. before about how he still loves me .. yadda yadda... and he defends it with .. "of course I still love you, and of course i care about you, I didn't magically loose feelings."
Now, my question is,... should I believe what he says and perhaps wait for a second chance to be with him... or.. should I just say screw this.. and move on, and try to forget these feelings for him?
Plz. i would appreciate your opinoins greatly. cry
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Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 6:35 pm
Humm....
If you really, honestly love this guy stay friends and wait. And if he loves you it will be well worth the wait. It might take time for him to remember why he fell for you in the first place.
If you think you love him, truly love him, stay and wait, but test the waters with other guys too. Dont limit yourself.
If you dont think you really love him, move on. If you dont feel it with every part of yourself, its not worth it. When you find 'the one' you wont ever get over them.
I hope I helped, even just alittle. 3nodding
Good Luck
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Posted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:02 pm
Believe him and move on. Just because he dosen't love you like that anymore dosen't mean he dosen't love you at all. If you want go out there and find someone new, theres no need to spend time pondering over whats out of your hands when you could be getting something wonderful. And If you really truely love him you can wait until he realizes too.
Don't worry about it some much a year from now none of this will matter.
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Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 6:37 pm
I'll let you in on a bit of my life.
I was with a guy for a year and three months. We had had feelings for each other for a good year or so before we actually ended up together. When we finally got together we were crazy happy together. He was the light of my life and I was the light of his. Everyone could see it.
About six months into our relationship, things began getting a bit rough on both of us. He started flirting with a bunch of other girls, all the time. I would get really mad about it but I would have never left him, ever. I loved him with every ounce of my being. I wated to spend my life with him. I wanted to make a family with him.
We a year and three months into our relationship. It tore me to shreds. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat. I tried out my hand at suicide. I wasn't going to live my life without him. He got into another relationship with a girl that I really truly disliked. She was not attractive, she was not intelligent, mind you, this man is VERY intelligent, and I should like to think that I am as well. I would also say that I am an attractive woman, not to sounds conceited or anything of that sort.
Anyway, so he got into this relationship. Upon him doing that, I decided that I wanted to hate him and that he was an "insensitive, man whore," as I so graciously put it. I decided that is was about time for me to move on because this had been a good two months after we had broken up.
I got into a relationship with a guy who had this unrequitted crush on me for three years. This guy treated me like a was a queen. But it just wasn't right. He did not kiss the way my previous man did. He did not hold me the way the previous guy did. He did not smell, walk, talk, dress or feel the one the previous guy did. I decided that I would stick through it and hopefully develop some solid feelings for this guy. Silly me.
Then my previous guy, I need to use names now, it might get confusing. I shall call him, Joe. So, Joe began going through this "self-hate" phase. He seemed to have hated everything about himself. I was the only one he would talk to about it. He knew that I still had feelings for him, very srtong feeling, at that. He then told me that it hurt him deeply that I had moved on. I asked him why it is okay for him to move on and not myself, he said it's not. I then asked him if he regretted walking out on me, he relpied with "everyday." Then, I proceeded to ask him if he still loved me, he replied with "I never stopped." I then broke up with, I shall call him Andrew. I decided that it was wrong of me to be with Andrew if I still loved Joe.
Joe then broke things off with his girlfriend and now we are very close. We are not together just yet, but I love him and he loves me. We both say it to each other on occasion.
So, I guess what I could tell you to do is don't try to push away your feelings for this guy because you might find that they will end up hurting you. But, also, do not be afraid to test the waters becaus eyou might just find someone better and if not, then you know what you feel is real and you just have to wait for your guy to see the same thing. Everything happens for a reason, you just have to find the reason, and if you can't find one, make one.
Eventually, you will either have him, or you will find someone better.
As for myself, I am waiting. Never again will I find something that I want more then I want Joe. It just won't happen. If you feel the same, then do what I am doing. But I cannot tell you what to do, for I am not you and I do not know how you feel. All I can suggest it to do a test, see how it feels to date someone else and if it's wrong, then you'll know what you truly want and if it feels good, stick with it, you might find an even greater happiness.
Hope I heped, even just a little. Good luck.
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