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 Posted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 10:05 pm
I don't know what to do. My Dad is dying from four different types of cancer. Mom can't stop crying, and my brother and i....well there is so much that we can do, but it doesn't seem much.
I feel so down and depressed and very, very tired with everything.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 3:36 pm
Right now, this is an extremely hard time for you - and I have to be the hangman and say its going to get worse before it gets better.
Every little thing you can do counts. No matter how small it seems. Maybe helping with housework, or something like that. Honestly, sometimes the tiniest things help the most. Do whatever you think you can.
To deal with your sadness, I think the best thing to do is talk, whether its with your family, friends, or even just writing in a journal, it'll really help you. It won't make everything go away, but it can help you sort out your feelings. Its not your fault in any way, shape, or form.
Last of all, as cheesey as I may sound, tell your Dad every day that you love him. [: I don't know this from experience, but once again, its a helper! Give hugs. (They're honestly proven to raise your mood) and once again, do everything you can, no matter how small it may be. This is a hard time, and people understand that.
If you ever need to talk, there is a ton of people here in this guild that will loan an ear, including myself.
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Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:37 am
minus infinity Right now, this is an extremely hard time for you - and I have to be the hangman and say its going to get worse before it gets better.
Every little thing you can do counts. No matter how small it seems. Maybe helping with housework, or something like that. Honestly, sometimes the tiniest things help the most. Do whatever you think you can.
To deal with your sadness, I think the best thing to do is talk, whether its with your family, friends, or even just writing in a journal, it'll really help you. It won't make everything go away, but it can help you sort out your feelings. Its not your fault in any way, shape, or form.
Last of all, as cheesey as I may sound, tell your Dad every day that you love him. [: I don't know this from experience, but once again, its a helper! Give hugs. (They're honestly proven to raise your mood) and once again, do everything you can, no matter how small it may be. This is a hard time, and people understand that.
If you ever need to talk, there is a ton of people here in this guild that will loan an ear, including myself. Indeed. Also, it sounds like you need some sleep. Sleep will make you feel better, if you can find time for it. It won't improve your situation, but it will improve you.(that sounds weird) And I am sorry for your sitation.
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Posted: Sun Dec 07, 2008 6:00 pm
I can relate...my dad died...man, how long has it been? I think five years ago...when I was starting middle school...Well, I think that while it is painful, is this the final memories of your dad that you want to have? ...You see...I didn't know my dad was going to die...I hated him...A part of me still does...and that's because I never got to mend our relationship before he was gone...I just expected him to call my house three times an hour, every hour like he always did...apologizing and asking why I wouldn't talk to him...I never knew that those would be the last time I heard his voice...I labelled him as annoying and figured that I've got time to stay mad before I can run back to him and forgive...but...I didn't...My fingers feel limb...I shouldn't be talking about this...
At any rate, I just shared that with you because do you want to remember the last times with your father as you seem him right now; sick and weak? I don't think so. Even if it's hard, you (and the rest of family) need to try to spend quality time, real quality time with your father...And yes, even though it doesn't come easy, sleep really helps. Just, please, promise me; don't waste a moment of the time you have right now! Please! Please, just be with your family, your father! Nothing else matters at this time! You won't ever get this time back! Remember that! What you have right now is what you get! Nothing else matters! And tell or do something with your dad that you know you'll regret later if you don't do! A phrase that I associate with more than I should is:
"It's better to regret something you did instead of what you didn't do"
Please, I'm begging you, remember this...and turn out better than I did... While it's not the happiest ending, I have to help you get a chance that I never had...Even now, years later, it still really hurts...I don't want you to suffer like I did/do, okay?
And also, make sure that he's happy, alright? He must be feeling really scared right now and uncertain...The best thing you can do for him is to put on a brave face and smile for him. As difficult as it is, try to think of your father as just your father. Try to act natural. Unless he himself brings it up, try your best to avoid the topic, okay? Do your best to be strong, for your dad.
And I'm sorry...really...I didn't mean to start up about me since, well, it's not about me. It's about you and, of course, your father. I only said it to show you that your best move is make the best of what time you do have, okay? The worst thing you could do is squander what days, months or years you could possibly share with your father. Please try to be strong!
If you need to talk, I'm more than willing to listen. I'll help in any way I can and try to be there as support and/or guidance! I'm open ears, alright?
Remember to smile! For your father!
(And sorry about such a long post, but I hope that I could help!)
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:08 am
i agree with the others advice and i want to add something on vent u said u have a brother try it with him u guys just let it go i know this sounds weird coming from a guy but it is okay to cry if u need to beleive me i've done it before u've got feelings inside u that u didn't even know were there and if ur depressed it's good to let those feelings out also if ur religious u can pray for him. i hope ur father gets better and im really sorry
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Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:50 pm
Thank you, for all of your advice everyone.
Sad thing is, my Dad died the night of Dec. 4th and had the funeral on his birthday the 8th.
It's hard right now, but I gotta stay strong for my mom who is taken it the hardest.
Again Thank you everyone.
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Posted: Sat Jan 24, 2009 5:18 pm
im so sorry for u. my dad was diagnosed with emphazema starting in his right lung.
*hugs u*
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