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Reply "ALI" Advice for Life Issues
My boyfriend doesn't appreciate me

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Techni-coloured BloodBath

PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:20 am


I'm getting SO sick of this scene!
It's exam time, so he's studying a lot and I understand this can be a stressful time for students.
But when he gets stressed out or depressed, he puts all the crap on me!

My boyfriend also has siezures occasionally, so sometimes when he's acting wierd, I ask if he's ok.
Well, the other night he got all mad at me.

Chris: Why do you always ask me that?!

Duh, because for some reason, I care about you. stare

Last night, he was showing me something on the computer and I didn't understand. Instead of explaining, he gets all pissy because I keep asking him 'why'? ... Maybe if he explained instead of just getting mad.
When he does that, he makes me feel so stupid!!
I may not be a fancy accountant like him, but it doesn't mean I'm an idiot!
But I sure feel that way when he acts like that.

And this morning, he wont say anything to me except like "meh"...
And he's not eating because studying is more important (not if you starve to death!)
I ask if he's hungry, he says he has more important things on his mind, like homework.
I ask if he'd like me to make him a sandwich... he just glares at me and nods his head.
Me: How about a please?
Chris: (nothing)
So, like the wonderful girlfriend I am, I make him lunch.
I make him a sandwich and some juice and bring it out to him.

I don't even get a thank you until AFTER he had finished, when he realized how hungry he was.

Then, we were going to go grocery shopping.
Usually, when we leave our appartment, he tries to close to door on me (as a joke) but today, he was holding them open.

I said: Wow. You're not trying to lock me out today?
Chris: ....
Me: Are you mad at me or something?
Chris: *big sigh* Why do you keep asking me that?!
Me: Because most people have the common courtesy to respond to someone when they're talking to them.
Chris: I did respond, verbally and physically...
Me: Sorry. I didn't hear. What did you say?
Chris: I said 'eh' and shrugged.

That is NOT an appropriate response. That is just ignorant.

So I said: Can you carry the groceries by yourself?
I think he said yeah... or meh. *shrugs*
So I went back home. He can do it by himself if he wants to be a jerk.

I don't know what his problem is! When I ask if anything is wrong, it's not an invasion of privacy or anything childish like that. I'm just concerned and care about him. I don't think I deserve to be treated this way when all I do is nice things for him!!
PostPosted: Sat Oct 18, 2008 4:56 pm


Tell him this and if he cant take it seriously then i'd say F him. Their is always 2 sides of the story so yeah, try talking to him.

Taran Mortal Fist


o-o_TeaThyme_o-o

Dapper Sex Symbol

PostPosted: Wed Oct 22, 2008 2:27 pm


This is a bit of a tricky situation. I'm not sure you should talk with him just yet, because obviously he's in a highly irritated mood. Anything could set him off. If anything, I would wait until after exams, then confront him about his behavior. Tell him how belittled he was making you feel, and explain that you were just worried for his well-being because you love him (unless you're one of those people who don't like to say 'I love you."...Tell him whatever you tell him, then.). But don't do this until after the stress has disappeared.

I tend to snap at people when the big tests roll around as well, so I can almost understand where he's coming from here. But there might also be something else on his mind that he simply doesn't feel comfortable telling you just now (or he doesn't feel as though he has the time to explain), so tread carefully. You're going to have to have a great deal of tact to deal with his pissy mood.

If he still acts like this after exams, then there is definitely something wrong and you're going to have to decide whether you should be around him anymore or not.

I wish you the best of luck, and I hope things work out for you both. smile

-Adam
PostPosted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 9:32 pm


It turns out he was/is depressed or bi-polar.
And he doesn't trust me enough to tell me...
He has to get drunk with one of his friends in order for him to open up.
I understand that boys and girls talk better with themseves then each other...
But still, I wish he had enough convidence in me to talk to me.
He's upset... AGAIN.
And again he doesn't tell me a thing.
He wont tell me until days later when he'll explain briefly what was wrong, but firmly state that he doesn't want my opinion.

Techni-coloured BloodBath


minus infinity

Fluffy Fatcat

PostPosted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 5:41 pm


Techni-coloured BloodBath
It turns out he was/is depressed or bi-polar.
And he doesn't trust me enough to tell me...
He has to get drunk with one of his friends in order for him to open up.
I understand that boys and girls talk better with themseves then each other...
But still, I wish he had enough convidence in me to talk to me.
He's upset... AGAIN.
And again he doesn't tell me a thing.
He wont tell me until days later when he'll explain briefly what was wrong, but firmly state that he doesn't want my opinion.

It might still be stress by the exams.
But if they're over by now, you're going to have to consider moving on.
PostPosted: Sat Nov 08, 2008 1:43 am


COMMUNICATION. The #1 THING THAT'S IMPORTANT IN A RELATIONSHIP. Talk to him. Ask him what is up and tell him your feelings.. if he's a good mature boyfriend, he will handle this situation in a nice manner..

Chefeetaboopers

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 11:07 am


Well I can say I have been there sad
(or am there)


You have to be assertive and say exactly what you feel.
Because guys are block heads and not fully comprehend how you feel.

if he gets mad and cant admit he is wrong then he isnt worth it then
PostPosted: Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:14 am


...

unique_chick


darlagurl4lyfe

PostPosted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 2:07 pm


Techni-coloured BloodBath
I'm getting SO sick of this scene!
It's exam time, so he's studying a lot and I understand this can be a stressful time for students.
But when he gets stressed out or depressed, he puts all the crap on me!

My boyfriend also has siezures occasionally, so sometimes when he's acting wierd, I ask if he's ok.
Well, the other night he got all mad at me.

Chris: Why do you always ask me that?!

Duh, because for some reason, I care about you. stare

Last night, he was showing me something on the computer and I didn't understand. Instead of explaining, he gets all pissy because I keep asking him 'why'? ... Maybe if he explained instead of just getting mad.
When he does that, he makes me feel so stupid!!
I may not be a fancy accountant like him, but it doesn't mean I'm an idiot!
But I sure feel that way when he acts like that.

And this morning, he wont say anything to me except like "meh"...
And he's not eating because studying is more important (not if you starve to death!)
I ask if he's hungry, he says he has more important things on his mind, like homework.
I ask if he'd like me to make him a sandwich... he just glares at me and nods his head.
Me: How about a please?
Chris: (nothing)
So, like the wonderful girlfriend I am, I make him lunch.
I make him a sandwich and some juice and bring it out to him.

I don't even get a thank you until AFTER he had finished, when he realized how hungry he was.

Then, we were going to go grocery shopping.
Usually, when we leave our appartment, he tries to close to door on me (as a joke) but today, he was holding them open.

I said: Wow. You're not trying to lock me out today?
Chris: ....
Me: Are you mad at me or something?
Chris: *big sigh* Why do you keep asking me that?!
Me: Because most people have the common courtesy to respond to someone when they're talking to them.
Chris: I did respond, verbally and physically...
Me: Sorry. I didn't hear. What did you say?
Chris: I said 'eh' and shrugged.

That is NOT an appropriate response. That is just ignorant.

So I said: Can you carry the groceries by yourself?
I think he said yeah... or meh. *shrugs*
So I went back home. He can do it by himself if he wants to be a jerk.

I don't know what his problem is! When I ask if anything is wrong, it's not an invasion of privacy or anything childish like that. I'm just concerned and care about him. I don't think I deserve to be treated this way when all I do is nice things for him!!

If he doesn't appreciate you then go on strike. By this I mean break up with him or something. He doesn't diserve a nice person like you.
PostPosted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:50 pm


well do everything in ur power not to irritate him cause big tests are a pain in the butt it can even cause mental disorders such as depression wait till he takes his test then talk to him tell him how ur feeling

G0d_0f_R0ck

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"ALI" Advice for Life Issues

 
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