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Well, how pathetic. This is my last option. Last night I attempted to speak with my boyfriend about what's going on, and he basically threw it in my face. Again. I will never learn.

Right now I feel like I'm drowning and I seriously don't know what to do about it. My new job terrifies me to the point of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. I work 8 hours on Saturdays and 6 hours on Sundays, and I spend the entirety of that time feeling completely overwhelmed and wishing desperately for the day to finally end so that I can go back home and feel safe again. Which is awful because it's a really good job that pays well and I was lucky to get it. I even know that I could be good at it if I wasn't so damn terrified.

Even before I got this job, things were starting to spiral downwards. It's excruciating because I can intellectualise what's going on and pinpoint all the probable reasons for everything. But then it's like I'm paralysed and unable to do anything about it. I know I should go and see a professional, and there are even free counselling services at my uni, but every time I try to pick up the phone to make an appointment, or even try to walk into the office to make an appointment when I'm at uni for other reasons, I just find myself physically incapable of doing so. Even now, I've had to stare at the screen for a long time before I could make myself click the submit button. I can't reach out to people anymore.

I'm just lost. I don't even know what good posting this here will do. It mightn't do any good at all. I guess I'm just sick of not having anyone to reach out to. If you've read this far, even if you don't post: thank you.

Not for any rational reason. It requires me to speak to people quite extensively and remember a large amount of detail regarding the items that we sell. I haven't worked there very long which means I am still learning, and also that it's totally normal to be a bit unsure about what I'm doing. But for some reason the fact I have to talk to people - that is, greet them when they enter and offer assistance (even though I know they'll ask a question and I'll have to go ask a co-worker because I won't know the answer) - scares me much more than it should.




Thankyou. That's good advice. I like when people get to the point. smile

I don't have much advice other than to try giving up on that one person. Even if it's just something you think you have to do, to explain what was going on, don't; it's futile. As for your job, don't sweat it. I've spoken to many employers, and they respect someone who doesn't freak out under pressure; just work hard and persevere. After a while they may ask if you were ever at all nervous about it. I'd admit it, because it takes a load off of your shoulders. It IS a rational reason for stressing at first, though. Forgetting information can make one feel very unprofessional, especially when you have to talk to a customer about it. The feeling that they're constantly judging you can make you just about piss yourself if it gets to you that much, but it's understandable since you just started. Just get your cool-- fast. If I was an employer, I'd kinda get ticked at a person working there a month or two who still had to ask around. So to be sure, don't sweat the small stuff, and try putting some slack on your body by not stressing.

(And is that your actual pic in your signature?! eek ))

even if you arent a 'religious' person, you should go to God with this. He's easier to reach out to than a person, He's already there, and He know what your going thru. or a pastor/clergyman/older Christian.
thats my two cents

__Your boyfriend should have listened to you, not be so harsh.__
__You should also be proud to work and choose your job__

__Sometimes you have to appreciate the little things.__