Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hmm,well I'm guessing the thing he wants from you is sex right? If this is the case it's honestly not a big deal if he breaks up with you because if he's mad over that,he really doesn't respect you.
BUT,if this is NOT the case then I suggest be calm and remember after he fights how you'd act,acknowledge the fact you two had a fight but try to act normal as possible.Let him know how you feel about it. And be honest with him tell him your fears and tell him to behonest with you...are your fears correct.
And if so,tel him don't beat around the bush because it's killing you inside and if he cares enough he'll see that.If he doesn't see that...he's not worth loving.
As for the whole friend situation, that's between him and them and in no way should effect you two's relationship.

Oh,that's a good thing ^_^

Just sounds like he needs time to think this over.

If you guys are meant to be there'll be a way for you guys to be together, if not, then you'll get the opportunity to find the person just for you. I can't really tell you much else, I had a month break from someone before and our spark came right back when we started talking again. It's really more of destiny thing as I see it hon. You can change destiny but interfering too much tends to have the opposing affect most people want but you can change it.

falling out with friends came before saying he thinks he's feelings are changing. friends thing has been going on for about 2-3 weeks now. his saying he thinks he doesn't love me anymore was last weekend, which means it's been around a week. i think one DOES have to do with the other, i just fail to see the connection. except for the fact that the friends thing might have him so confused that said confusion somehow got mixed into our relationship, i can't of any other way for it to be related, tho i can't help but feel it might have to do something.

yes, i figured giving him space was the best thing to do. as i said, it wasn't really something i WANTED, but after asking him what exactly he wanted, as in, how he wanted me to give him space, he said he wanted us to not talk 'til friday. so i did. we haven't spoken. i think he blocked me in the msn bcs i haven't seen him on recently, AND just now when i logged in here [gaia] he was on. but then quickly went off [i have not even messaged him, left a comment, NOTHING], i can't ehlp but think that he noticed i came in and so he went away...

also, while thinking today [i constantly do a lot of thinking, and needless to say, recently, my thinking has been directed towards this issue] i thought of the possibility that HE is the one giving time to me...if he IS gonna break up with me, he might be making me believe nothing's for sure yet but at the same time making me get used to the fact that we wouldn't talk...i wasn't in the least happy about this thought, so i shoved it away...but i can't help it...i keep thinking that might be it...

indeed, LD relationships can be hard, and i'm usually one to say so [tho i used to swallow my words bcs i realized mine was just that]....it's true, it might be somrthing hard for him...even tho he's always been faithful [not once has anything happened. in fact, he always told me evrything, including when a girl who liked him called him], perhaps he's gotten to the point where he thinks it'd be easier to have a gf closer to home...it would really suck if it were that, but even i have to admit it's a possibility...

emotionally, i've never thought of myself as a strong person...however, i have grown to be able to focus on other things instead of 'sulking' over my problems [i.e. had an exam today, and i think i did well. trhu the week i studied regardless of how misserable i feel]. sadly, tho, my body doesnt take to emotions too well, and i've barely had an appetite lately. food disgusts me in the morning, and in the afternoon i eat bcs i'm hungry, tho at the same time i feel i can't even chew, let alone swallow. i don't have much dinner, either...if i do, i get tummy aches [i actually have one right now, ate lunch a while back].

i believe in that, hard as it may be, i understand that what doesn't kill me makes me strnger....but DAMN IT HURTS!! regardless of that, i'm scared of how it will be tomorrow when we meet up...i don't know what i'm allowed to do, to say...i felt like this once, with him as well. we'd had a bit of a fight, and he was angry at me. when we met up again, i would barely move, merely stand beside him [we were out with his sis and her bf]...only if he held my hand would i comply and hold his in return, only when he hugged me would i hug him...it really sucked. i was uber scared...i guess now is the same, except it's sad, as well as scared...

confusion seems to be the "safest" bet here. after all, at i dunno what point, what day, what w/e, he told me he was confused. tho he wasn't specific, which is what makes it harder to understand.

yes, i'd say i'm down to earth. love going into my thoughts, losing myself in them, however, when i need to, i focus on realistic things....sure, unrealistic thoughts go thru, but i pick'em out and focus on the realistic ones. for instance: right now i'm mildly angry at him bcs i'm going trhu this, but i don't hate him, or anything or the sort, bcs i know he's not doing it on purpose. i wish i wasn't 'upset' with him, but i guess i can't help it. but like i said, even tho i'm upset, i would NOT "take it out" on him or anything bcs i know he's not doing it on purpose....and bcs i think he's aware i'm going thru a hard time, even tho we did not talk yesterday or today.

yep, stomach's feeling just like that. i just hope it ends soon bcs i don't wanna end up getting sick bcs of lacking nutrients and such.

mainly it isn't 'allowed to say', tho i feelt that one, too. mainly it's what i'd be allowed to do. like hug him, hold his hand, etc....heck, right now i'm not even sure if i'd be able to look at him in the eyes [tho i guess i won't really know UNTIL i test it out tomorrow -_- ]. right now i'm not crying or anything, but somrthing tells me i'll become a mess tomorrow when i DO see him. i'm guessing i haven't cried again bcs since i'm not talking to him, i'm sort of isolated from that...tomorrow, however, it'll be different. i'll do my best to keep myself together, tho. i'm aware that seeing me vry isn't gonna be his cup of tea, much less make it easier for him [w/e may happen].

^_^ thnx for the hug **hugs back real tight**

i certainly hope it's not cheating [who would want that, anyway?]. u r the 2nd person to suggest it [a friend of mine also suggested it]....i can't help but try to convince myself it's not a possibility...i don't want it to be, after all....but i guess it is, regardless of how much i'd like it not to be.

moving away seems unlikely, unless his mom told him to go with her [she lives in florida] and he hasn't told me. he wouldn't move with his dad [dad living about 1hr and 1/2 away from him....currently he lives with his sister], he dislikes his father very, VERY much, so it is VERY UNLIKELY that he'd go with him.

suicide...God i hope not...but i suppose it IS a possibility.

military....he's never spoken to me about that, and he's studying [what he wanted to study, psychology....so i can't see why he'd suddenly think of joining the military.....unless it were for his grades, i dunno, that he suddenly didn;t feel they were good enough, so he'd decide to drop out and join the military....still unlikely tho...at least i think it is]

thank u...it really IS great knowing i can count on u even tho technically we've never met....so i appreciate it very, VERY much heart

well...it's monday, and i can now *painfully* update on what happened....he broke up with me....said he loves me but he's not IN love with me....basically, he cares for me, but not as a partner, as in sees me more like a friend than a girlfriend...he'd spoken with some friends [2 of the ones i mentioned he was having problems with. turns out the issue isn't with all of them, but one, the one i went to highschool with, nickname snoopy, so it'll be easier to understand. the other 2 [there's actually a third one, mike, but he's really not very important bcs he's more an acquaintance to me than a friend, so i've never really cared about him that way [nothing against him, tho. simply not close with him, that's all], they're bruzz and john]. well, he spoke with them, and they told him that if he wasn't in love with me he shouldn't stay in the relationship, it wouldn't be fair. i understand their POV, and tho it hurts like hell, i encourage it. i really wouldn't have wanted [and still don't] to be in a "relationship" where he's faking his love for me. like i said, it still hurts, and i'm obviously still sad about the break-up, still would have preferred if it hadn't happened..however, they're right. it's for my own good, regardless of how much it hurts.

i also spoke with bruzz and john; they've been great friends. heck, bruzz absolutely HATES talking on the phone, and he actually kept talking with me that night for OVER 4 hrs...he's an awesome friend. i'm sure john would have done the same, but he's cellphone sucks so bad we agreed we'd continue talking the next day [saturday] when we went out [i did evrything possible to keep it outta my head, so saturday i was out with my mom during the day, running some errands and afterwards hitting borders where i read 2 manga volumes....one of which reminded me of him xp .... and afterwards i went out with them all night [went out with bruzz, john and snoopy].

aside from crying my eyes out for over an hr after it happened [i was still in his house so i locked myself in the bathroom and didn't come out 'til an hr later], i managed to continue talking, to get answers i believe i deserved. i asked him if there was someone else, he said no; i ventured into asking him if he liked this friend of his [can't say name or nickname bcs she's a skilled gaian [she might find this. he's a gaian too, but since he joined recently i know he won't find this]], he said he'd thought about it but concluded that no, he didn't like her. i asked him if he wanted to be proven wrong, if he wanted to one day realize that he is indeed in love with me.....he said yes [GOD THAT WAS/IS TORTURE!!].

i can't quite remember if there was anything else, but if i recall i'll post...i gotta get to class now...

OH, but b4 i go, let me add: we'd agreed we'd stay friends, as in, best friends...but thinking about it better, maybe i can't quite handle that just yet. i don't want him disappearing from my life, but i'm thinking maybe i shouldn't see him or speak with him over the phone just yet. i can't exactly bury a 2 yr relationshp overnight....suddenly going from 2yr long boyfriend to friend is a HUGE change...for my own good perhaps i shouldnt do that just yet. any thoughts? [on evrything. sorry if it's long]