• Sometimes my anxiety is so high.
    It gets to the point where I don’t care who I hurt.
    I’ll try to get what I want.
    I’m an evil little monster.

    All my emotions rise up from deep within.
    I just don’t care anymore.
    I’m so tired of caring.
    Don’t you ever get tired of caring?

    I want to yank all my hair out.
    I want to punch myself in my own heart.
    I need to cause my own pain.
    I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

    I’m visibly triggered.
    Isn’t it obvious?
    Whom shall I hurt?
    Oh, I’m sorry.
    Wait, no I’m not.
    I’ve hurt you.
    Now go away.

    Please, just leave me alone.
    I’m just a lonely girl.
    My heart reeks of defeat.
    It’s all right.
    It doesn’t matter anymore.
    I can take care of myself.

    I’ll lay everything down.
    I’ll go out with style.
    Burn me up with your lies.
    Shoot me down with your words.
    I’ll take it just like I take everything else.

    I’m a hard worker.
    I’m kind.
    Sometimes I just don’t care.
    I’m not always in my right state of mind.

    My anxiety runs high.
    I’m hated by life itself.
    It’s my fate to suffer so.
    I’ll run and run far away.
    This state of mind will always catch up with me.

    I’m not going anywhere.
    I’ll continue to drift amongst everything.
    It all floats around me.
    I can handle this for just a little while longer.
    It doesn’t matter if I think I can’t.
    I’m knocking on that window.
    I’m watching from the outside.
    I want to be let in.

    I’m unsure about myself most of the time.
    Can’t you tell with my hesitation?
    Can’t you tell with my stumbling feet?
    Sometimes I just don’t care.
    Sometimes I just want to break free.

    Can I close my eyes now?
    Can I not worry about anyone or anything now?
    I don’t want you.
    I don’t think I even want me.

    Things can go on like this for a while, can’t they?
    I don’t know.
    All I thought I knew,
    All I thought that confirmed me,
    It’s all gone with the wind.

    I float amongst the uncertainty.
    I live this life of mine.
    I’ll never be at peace.
    It doesn’t matter to me how long I live.
    Can I close my eyes?
    Can I not worry?
    I can’t, can I?

    All the times I wrap my hands around my neck,
    All the times I try to choke out my worries,
    I can’t, can I?
    I’m a coward.
    I can be mean, disrespectful and argumentative.
    Sometimes I just don’t care.
    It doesn’t always matter to me who I hurt.

    I want to hurt myself.
    I want to only hurt myself.
    Maybe I will when the end comes.
    I’m clinging for now.
    I’ve always been clingy.
    Why not to life as well?
    Why not self-destruction?

    Please, won’t you come get me?
    I’m just this unknown chick.
    I’m lost in a world full of vultures.
    Everyone wants something.
    Everyone just has to feed upon my worst fears.
    Ruthless vultures.
    Cruel and heartless.