Vengeance

• Artist: Aleydream
• Description: This was a prompt I found on Deviant Art and I'd like some feedback on what I came up with. The poem is meant for a mature audience, not that it does not follow Gaia ToS, it does. Feel free to shoot me a PM with a longer comment.
  
  I know that my grammar is not perfect, but I did it on purpose. Please read using the commas and periods for pauses instead of the end of the lines.
• Date: 02/08/2012
• Tags: vengeance prompt love pain anger

It is a quiet thing,
even when it is loud.
It is racing blood,
the silent anguished
Scream.

It is relentlessly
burning cycles.
We laugh and cry,
wince and gasp.
Push on

Even in the silence
of a dead room filled
with eyes of quiet
misinterpretation.

Wintrily judgment falls
from flapping gums
of feeble fish on a shore
not meant for them.
Push on,

Push on for one day
One day the silent scream
will reach the ears intended.
One day, perhaps this time,

Perhaps if
I twist the knife,
I stab harder,
I pour salt in old existing wounds,
and mine be salted too.

Perhaps if
we hurt equal I will see the pain I feel,
find Misery's friend
and this cycle will end.

It's a quiet thing,
even when it's loud.
It's the pain I feel
projected out, but
the silent anguished
Scream will Push on.

Comments

[X-HayKay-X]

I love the message this sends and they ways it sounds. I've been trying to write something similar but couldnt find the words. well done. Will you check out some of my poetry and tell me what you think?