Cantaloupes and Birdsong

• Artist: x_Nuzz
• Description: Thought I'd reminisce a bit. You can prolly tell that a lot has happened since that first kiss with him.
  (wasn't my overall first kiss)
  I definitely think there can be improvements on this. It sounds a little awkward in my head. Suggestions on how to make it better?
  
  comment please.
  
• Date: 07/30/2011
• Tags: first last

It was the kind of kiss that smelled of the staticy air before a rainstorm that you love.

Soft like the marshmallows we roast over the stove at night,

quiet like the lullabies you sing me when nightmares scare me out of sleep,

and sweet like the cantaloupes we eat in the middle of summer.



It should have been my first.

At least you'll be my last.

Comments

[launchpadmcquack13136]

if this is the first way you wrote it and you dont know how to specifically change it in your gut, then stick to it. cuz it works