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Anger. Sorrow. Guilt.
Hopelessness. Loneliness.
Fear.
Pain.
I'm engulfed by darkness.
Not the quiet, comforting kind.
Rather,
the cold, lonely, tormenting kind.
I want to get out, to run away from it,
but I'm bound down by chains and shackles
that cannot be seen nor touched nor felt.
I'm trapped.
If they had a special light with which
they could see dried tears,
like they have to see blood
that's been cleaned up,
then I'm sure they would find
that my eyes and cheeks
are stained darkly with
the thousands of tears
I've cried in my life.
I can see people my age;
my peers.
They stand there
laughing at me,
jeering at me,
judging me,
ridiculing me.
Some shove me around,
while others throw things.
I scream,
but none of them
seem to hear me or my anguish.
If they do, then they just don't care.
I beg the adults I see
beyond my peers
to help me,
to make them stop.
They just look at me with pity
and say that they will,
but they don't.
They tell me to ignore them.
They say my peers torment me
because I'm an easy target.
I know they mean well, but
their words make me feel like
it's my fault.
Because I'm different.
I can turn to the few friends that I have.
For now at least.
But I know that it's probably
only a matter of time
before they walk away from me, too,
just like so many others in the past have.
I think a lot of them see me as
'high maintenance' or
too chatty for their liking
after they get to know me better,
so they just walk away.
Some of them find 'cooler' friends
and no longer see me as
'worthy' of being their friend.
It seems like all of my friends
are changing.
While they change,
I stay the same.
There are a few
who are still decent to me,
but I can tell that
what we once had is gone.
As I watch them walk away,
one by one,
I try to run after them,
but I can't because
I'm still chained and shackled.
I can only
reach out my hand towards them
and cry,
“No! Wait! Don’t go!
Please don't go!
Don't leave me here!
I'm scared!
I don't want to be alone!”
They don't even look back.
I jolt awake
in a cold sweat,
breathing heavily.
I tell myself over and over that
it was just a nightmare.
As my nerves settle, though,
I realize that
it wasn’t just a nightmare,
just a dream.
It was a reflection of
my life,
caught in a never-ending cycle
of abandonment and pain.
As I bow my head to cry,
I think about all of the friends
I’ve lost.
Too many.
The tears start to fall,
staining my face darker.
Time and time again,
I've been forsaken
and forgotten.
- by Lunatic Magpie |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 05/14/2011 |
- Skip
- Title: Forsaken
- Artist: Lunatic Magpie
- Description: This free verse poem is a reflection of my life in middle school and the pain and abuse from my peers that eventually lead me into depression. I tend to stick to humor in what I write, but I was in a very depressed state when I wrote this. My best friend of 12 years actually started to cry about half-way through reading it. For those of you who are especially empathetic, I suggest that you grab some tissues before you start reading.
- Date: 05/14/2011
- Tags: forsaken
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Comments (4 Comments)
- H Naruto15 - 07/21/2011
- This poem is a true masterpiece. I cried and i don`t cry at all. The power and the emotions............
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- Kye Jenn - 06/12/2011
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....
Except for the peer abuse part, sounds like my life. O_o
*hugs* I'm so sorry you know how that feels........ - Report As Spam
- Silver Tsumugari - 05/14/2011
- Dear, this STILL makes me cry!
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- Soljenta - 05/14/2011
- omg, I almost started crying T-T :sob:
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