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I see you and I'm jealous
You radiate confidence
You're surrounded by love
You're looked up to
I'm ashamed of myself
I shouldn't be acting so childish
I shouldn't care
My emotions should shut themselves off,
Like normal
But you turn on my feelings
You make me feel sad
When you look my way
Then turn and kiss him
I feel like crying.
I have no idea why,
But it creates an unbearable pain
A pain in my heart
It pulls at me
It tears at me
Could it just be me?
No, I don't think so
The way you look at me to
It confuses me to no end
I can't understand it
The way you look at me
It's the same way you look at them
The one's you love
The one's you crush on
I can't help but wonder
Is it really just me?
Do you not feel the same?
Could you not have the same pain,
The same tug
As I have
The one that pulls me to you
Makes me want to stay by you
Forever
But that won't work
I'm not the bride
I'm but the bridesmaid
Standing on the sidelines
Never there myself
I watch
And I can't make sense of what I see
I can't figure it out
I hate it
I can't get over the tug you have on me
Not even enough to create another
To feel another
I can't get over you
Not enough to feel for another
But I can't be any more than the Best Friend
Nope
Nothing more
I wish I could kill the tug
I could have somebody else
I could choose
But I can't
The tug never goes away
No matter how I try
No matter how I beg and plead
And no matter what
You go on looking at me like you love me
Then turning away
And sharing that look with somebody else
But that's the person who has you and the look
I know I should be happy
I get to be around you
I'm your best friend
I'm the one you'll always come back to
You could date the whole world
As many times as you like
And I'd still be the one you come back to
I'd still be your best friend
But how long will that last?
How many boys will you put me over
What happens when you "Fall in love"?
What happens to me when I complain?
Would I still be kept close?
Or
Would you finally throw me away
So you can keep your lover?
Right now I'm put above all others
But how long will that last
When will you finally get over it
Decide I'm more trouble than you want
What happens if I get tired of it?
If I get tired of being the best friend
Unable to see anybody else with the same light as you?
When you blind me with your brilliance
When my vision becomes clouded
And I've given up everything else?
Everything else but you
Cut myself off from feelings
Closed my eye to all light
Shut off all my scences
Just so I can get through the wedding
As the Maid of Honor
Not the bride
Smiling
Staying happy for you
Not crying
Not breaking down
Not running away
Same as now
Finally accepting myself
As I am
First thing I do is fall
Into like
Into love
It makes me wonder
What if it never happened?
What if I hadn't seen you
What if I hadn't talked to you
I can't think of an answer
Because you've become a part of me
A big part of me
You the part that
Shows my brightest smiles
Earns my most genuine laughter
Makes me do my best no matter what
I can't help but wonder
What if it never happened?
Would somebody else be my smiles
my laughter?
Somehow I don't think so
I don't know why
I don't know how
But this tug has gotten stronger
And stronger
And it hurts
How long before it's to much?
And I can no longer take it,
More than that though
What will you do if it does happen?
What will you do?
If I leave?
Will you cry and get over it
Would you even cry?
- Title: You Wake Me Up You Make Me Cry
- Artist: Mjosi
- Description: This is for my best friend Encendre... And because I couldn't sleep and had to get some writing out at 1am
- Date: 08/17/2010
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