Losing the battle

• Artist: Eva-Chan2846
• Description: Just something i wrote for a homework assignment
  Rates and comments are loved ~<3~
• Date: 04/14/2010
• Tags: losing battle stay aliv

The feeling is dark.
The world not at peace
As the sky fills with a darkening sorrow
For the soul that has lost
Lost the battle of survival
Just after a few minutes of life
The poor little girl took her first breath
Then passed away
so now she gone and away
In the hands of thy lord and thy savior
She rest peacefully in his arms and sings with the angels

Comments

[Kiki Kitsune33]

This made me cry, 5/5

[armygirlspirit]

I liked reading this very much, its deep and i could really feel the conflict and resolution in it :3
Check out my poems sometime, i could really use the feed back*

[Eva-Chan2846]

Thanks to both of you =]

[Epidemiic--x]

Very deep and imaginative.
Really lets the reader see what's going on.
It's beautiful.
You should write more;D

[Metaphoric Rain]

Gave me the shivers. >_<
Very beautiful imagery you've got here as well as a powerful last line. I commend you 'cause I like using words like that.