DENIED. CURSED. and DAMNED

• Artist: Flarec
• Description:
• Date: 03/08/2010
• Tags: condemned cursed damned

" the day is night and night is day
dark smoke rising
overwhelming a flicker of light
till it dies
with no remnants, no heed, no plight

reaper's howls engulf the moon
shiver from scorn of these harbingers of smite
hear thy scowls, cursed children of the night

feast in ruby blood
drape the earth in a red cloak and flood

sleep as Luna cries
tears streaming down the earth's floor
her silver light scurry beneath half-masked core
be imprisoned in darkness evermore

the night is our day, the day is our night
dare churn cursed time and bathe
in drained corpse and blood..."

Comments

[Slinkenhofer]

1. Misuse of "plight" and "thy."
2. If day becomes night and night becomes day, there's really no change.
3. The stanzas show poor planning.
4. Not enough punctuation.
Overall, it just shows that an infantile obsession with the macabre is not only unhealthy; it also yields to some truly terrible poetry.