Girl Like You

• Artist: bacio48g
• Description: This is a poem that i wrote at about midnight last night and i was really tired so it might not be that good lol tell me what you think
• Date: 07/28/2009
• Tags: girl like

The reason why im feeling blue,
Is cause you dont even see,
All these feelings deep down inside of me.

I just cant see,
Why you refuse to fall in love with me.

You ask me why im feeling down,
And i say cause you gave me this frown.
You say, what did i do,
Nothing it just you.
What do you mean?
Im falling love with the girl in my dream.
May I ask who?
Im falling in love with a girl like you...

Comments

[killing killer kitty kat]

its cute.

[bacio48g]

i agree with you yeah i will probably work out the kinks later smile

[METRO SKiiES]

The beginning was choppy, but I like how the end went. The rhyme was a little forced, and the lines are a little uneven. I'm not a stickler for meters or anything but it does have to flow right. It evened out at the end, though, because it was going short-long-short-long. Needs a little spelling/grammar editing (sorry, I am a stickler about ther), but is pretty good for a poem done at midnight. Definetely a good start, but by no means a finished product.

[Z E T H I E K A]

LUV IT!!