Caught

• Artist: Dark_Aeris-chan
• Description: this poem is all about how you look at it. Its also about how a person feels at one point or another throughout their life
  
  Plz leave comments and if you give me a bad rating the least you could do is leave a comment on what I need to improove on or why you didnt like it.
  I kinda need ideas on what im missing here so i can get better. Criticism is a good way.
  tyvm :)
• Date: 07/12/2009
• Tags: longing

How long must it be
until I can set my heart free
watch the pages turn
in the book of life from which we learn
In this world theres no good and bad
thats only in the life we wish we had

Sometimes reality isnt what you percieved
when you opened your eyes to a world so obscene
Not knowing who you trust or how you feel
you drown in the thoughts that had no appeal

In this cage I'm caught in a trap
the metals bars cold against my hands
and my thoughts start to fold like a useless map
that one day you will understand

My eyes are always smiling
but cant you see whats underneath
the pain and suffering shes hiding
of the little girl who longs to be set free

Comments

[Fille aux Cheveux de Lin]

Hmm. Work on your grammar and spelling - I recommend you whop your entries into word and run a spellcheck before you enter it.
If you worked on this some more it could turn into something very good.

[Feel Amour]

Wow.. Thats Really Good ^.^ 5/5!