The Death of a ROSE

• Artist: dragonlover5
• Description: as usual, i just felt depressed. you see how it leads to poetry, if not, read my others and you will learn. and i dont really have a sister, thank you for that. And i think it was a day i drew a gray, shaded rose. i will put it on here also...eventually. if i havent already.
• Date: 05/29/2009
• Tags: death rose

The hard floor
The red rose falls
I scream out the door
Theres so many calls

First my brother
Then my sister
Someone saw
the red rose fall

It fell hard
So i ran to her
I look at her hands
They were so scared

"The rose" she cried
"It hurts me so"
"But the rose has died"
The girl only denies

"You lie"
I did not
Blood still dripping
I look back at the rose
The image began ripping...
Away

My sight lead to tears
But then I hear
anpther call

I rush back to the rose
For there I fall
Through the door
And on the floor

The rose turned gray
My life starts to fade...
Away

Comments

[dragonlover5]

thanks
ill be sure to work on that next time

[b00_2]

Poetry isn't just about putting together words and making it have meaning.
You lack poetry techniches.
You should have stuff like alliteration, similies, metaphores, assonance, consanance, voice, etc...