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when i wail
it makes me pail
cant sleep at night
i feel like a spotlight
leave me alone
you make me moan
i hate people like you
i wish you would turn into dodo
- by bella_the_viper |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 05/28/2009 |
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- Title: crying me
- Artist: bella_the_viper
- Description: me wail and get pail
- Date: 05/28/2009
- Tags: crying
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Comments (4 Comments)
- foxxycandy2015 - 05/31/2009
- hmmm...kinda suckish
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- ChibiGinie - 05/31/2009
- It's too close to having structure to be called freeform. There's no rythm. Try giving your poem more shape. It doesn't need to have feeling or even make a statement. In fact, the cold objectivity says more than expressive adjactives do. Really, just touch up your technicallities. smile
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- sailor0taku - 05/28/2009
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blah! haz no feeling
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- bella_the_viper - 05/28/2009
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omg thats wat i think
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