black ice hart

• Artist: youkaiwolf0
• Description: thinking of my first love.
  then my secont.
  please rate.
• Date: 01/28/2009
• Tags: black hart

I walk to the love door when I knock she push me away, falling falling I fall from her words "I hate you, stop talking to me." darker the light gets I fall deeper I fall the night is day day is night around and around it flys when I look up I can see her smiling as she drop a a penny off her chair it fall and strick me like falling sword, agin and agin laughing as she cut me up. as my darkness coverd me, I find a angle floting hight above me as my eyes open and my hart mended she walk away singing a sone of my hart,
"I walk as she coldly made me fall wondering if I could find a love that is pure, then i find a person that would hold me." her smile would light a room up.

Comments

[Xx-Moonlight97-xX]

who cares about his grammer/spelling errors. i understood it. it was beautiful

[youkaiwolf0]

sorry I have that problem.
other then that, was it good?

[aL ycious]

This isn't a poem, it's repettitive prose. If you don't know what that means, then I can't help you.
And I had trouble understanding it because of your numerous spelling/grammatical errors, too:

...Pushed flies, drops, falls,
struck/strikes, again, cuts, covered, angel, floating, high, opened, heart, walks, song, heart.