Reality vs. Fantasy

• Artist: Ninja_09
• Description: It's such a deep poem. I might not even understand it myself. <.< But, I can see that it' s all about rejection. I hope to improve my poem writing next time. So, I really need some comments. Pls. comment and rate! Thanks! :D
• Date: 01/25/2009
• Tags: reality fantasy

Once in your life, you would dream
Of the things that life may keep
It's kind of weird but who knows
You may be forever asleep
I crawl out of bed hoping to see
A morning full of beauty and glee

Is this a dream?
Is this reality?
Or is this the world
That's too carefree?

Bounded by limitations
Rejected by hesitations
Destiny and fate together
Never to be fixed forever
This world keeps on going round and round
In its hollow sins, it drowned
No one would dare to save it
Because no one did commit

Sacrifices I may offer
So that fantasy won't be over
I'd like to be in Neverland Where I'll never grow up
As what I have really planned

Is this reality?
Is this fantasy?
Or is this the world
That's too carefree?

So, I say my final wish
That forever will always be a fantasy
To never seek the pain I felt
To never feel that I melt.
By your words, I carry on
Even when you said " be gone ".
You might reject me and throw me away
But my heart will really stay.

Comments

[Ninja_09]

Yeah. You're right dharmawan. Sometimes, my poems do have awkward sentences. Probably because I did not edit this well. @.@

[porkopio]

its nice.. biggrin

[Dharmawan]

I like how much emotion I could pick up by reading this. I can sense a lot of disappointment (I might be wrong), then again, you did say it's about rejection razz . One comment, sometimes the sentences become a bit awkward because you wanted the poem to rhyme:
"I crawl out of bed hoping to see
A morning full of beauty and glee"
Don't let rhyming stifle you're writing. At least, that's what I'd like.