Nightwalkers

• Artist: VampirePrincessOftheNorth
• Description: a poem about thepeople who stalk the night figure out what creature it is and pm me and I will give you something
• Date: 12/24/2008
• Tags: nightwalkers

walking down an empty street
i come to the end of the wire
i hear nothing then it
pounced
i scream to no aVail
i lay there gAsping
soMething Pressed to my lips
my mouth fills with something
all turns dark

next night comes I rise from my slumber and look at my body
thoughts Run away
disbelief flows through my vEins
a hunger comes that can't be sated
and in the night i walk
and the screams of my kill
FILL THE AIR

Comments

[VampirePrincessOftheNorth]

thanks for your comment jgirl but seriously poetry doesnt need anything in it. It is the feelings of the poet and if they dont use commas its for a reason. Authors make choices, learn it, live it, love it.

[jgirl39]

Insert commas! "I hear nothing, then it." For that matter, capitalize your Is. And use BIG adjectives! Dark = okay. sure. it was dark. now what? The capitalization gives it emphasis, along with an urban sort of feel. However, I don't think you should capitalize consonants - it's kind of hard to put emphasis on them. I like your line breaks, though.