Last Thoughts

• Artist: Phantom Geass
• Description: Its a poem!
• Date: 12/10/2008
• Tags: last thoughts

Last Thoughts

My life is nothing,
I can see the light,
please don't cry,
and don't lose sight,
of that blue sky,
in which i fall,
i will find peace,
in my buried hall.

Comments

[Phantom Geass]

yeah i know but some people are clueless, i think i will post a second draft later but this poem was purely randomly written because i was bored

[Only Becca]

It's still original even if you fix it up. Just because you change it doesn't mean that it isn't the same work anymore. You will never get a piece that is perfect in the first draft. *shrugs* && You're welcome. Don't brush off people trying to help you, though. That'll hurt you more than help you. (NOT a snobbish remark, I speak from experience.)

[Phantom Geass]

yeah well ive already written this so i didn't change anything to keepit original, thanks for the tip though

[Only Becca]

Pssssht. Don't listen to angry flamers. I can be harshish, but I'm not cruel. This is poetry, no worries on that front. Just try to fix the punctuation and capitalization. And think about changing the first line, it doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the poem. 3.5/5 rounded up to 4/5. Keep writing!

[Phantom Geass]

if this is what happens when you post in the arena i think i will stop posting here, i posted this POEM for people to read and enjoy if possible, this is not some school exam or test so please stop with these stupid comments in which some of you have absolutly no idea about

[Mud99]

Are you sure its a poem? I would check again if I were you. 3/5

[Lux Solis]

I agree with Toxic One hundred percent.

And to Alitare who thinks this is 'band and distasteful', it's poetry and obviously you have neither taste or a sense for literature. I'd have to say 5/5, good job.