pain

• Artist: ilovejessee
• Description: a childs pain
• Date: 10/12/2008
• Tags: pain

sweatdrop

sitting all alone with pain in my system, unknowing wat is going to become of this wisdom, meaning that i know how it feals to be alone, children can be so mean and so cold. but its not only the childs fault u know, parents can be so heartles also. but after a while u give up on fitting in and u become something worst deep within. as my heart beats harder and my blood is boiling, something in me brakes and im hurtng. a couple of minuetes pass and im better, but as i look down i shreek in tarror, for the body i have dismemberd

Comments

[kitharion]

Is it okay that I copied this and did some minor editing? I can PM it to you, if you like smile

[smol might]

haha dont pay attention to the guy below me
nice poem smile

[SilvertongueSagittarius]

hmm... EMO! as far as overall structure, u had gud rhyms at first but then u just quit. oh, and u misspelled "TERROR" and "HURTING" and "SYSTEM" "SITTING" "WHILE" "MINUETES" and I'll assume the rest is type-os and please put it in bar/stanza format. it's so much easier to read that way