Midnight Dance

• Artist: iBrightScales
• Description: Something saved on my comp, and I figured I'd put it on here.
  It's been on fictionpress for a while and hasn't gotten any comments, so I'm hoping I'll get some on here.
  Please comment, and be brutally honest <3
• Date: 09/08/2008
• Tags: dance

You dance in the nightlights .
Your movements are swift , they bring me to my knees .
I’ll follow your waltz wherever it leads me , though I may find myself in peril once more .
I’ll not waver , though you take me in and out of eternity .
I’ve seen the silver lining thanks to you.
But I’ve also seen the burning gates .
I’ve danced in the midnight , through fields of lost dreams and abandoned hopes .
Your eyes shine as I twirl around the line of purgatory .
You watch with a covered lust as I slip into your nightmare .
I want to break away , but this dance is too ceremonial .
I won’t curse the earth with my break in step .

Comments

[Cottoncandyocbra3]

Very good. Not my favorite work of yours, but quite superb. To hell with strict poetic guidelines.

[Caleco]

i'm not sure what it is, but something about really captures me. awesome job smile never lose your poetic style, i's truely great

[Mecca Against Reality]

I guess I'll be the first person to comment on this (ever?). I think it was perfect; although, I don't think anyone knows the significance of the poem. That may be why they didn't comment, or rate it high? (Or maybe it was because it didn't rhyme?)

Me on the other hand, came up with my own conclusion, which I am happy with. I think you did a great job. 5/5