• I am extremely irritable. I’ve been getting ticked off over the smallest things. I’ve been making fights just so I can shout. I’ve been an a** for the most pathetic and stupid reasons. I’ve been finding ways to turn every single thing into a problem. I’ve been overreacting and exaggerating.



    But I’m cool, and nice, and funny. Enough to be what you want me to be. Yeah. I can’t be as handsome or as tall or as fair-skinned like others. I can’t get you everything. I can’t promise you anything. But I could be there. Just there next to you (if ever you really wanted me to) I can be a gentleman, a skydiver, agent007, and a lot more things. Whenever you need company, I think I’ll do just fine.



    These come around my mind lately. I’ve been finding it hard to do almost anything. Everyday, it gets harder to stand up and take a shower. It gets harder to eat. It gets harder to breathe and stay just for the sake of staying and waiting for something.



    It won’t bother me if and when you get up, pull up your pants, say goodbye, and then you go on a date with a guy you’ve been dreaming off. I’ll settle with a goodbye hug and a promise that you will text me and tell me how the date went.



    You’ve had a lot of guys. That’s cool. It’s fine. Okay. But deep down, it’s bugging me like I’m some kind of a fruit tree. Why can’t I just let it go? I don’t know if it seems fair. I’ve been feeling a lot for you since the first time we met.



    You'll joke or say to me that I should be with this or that girl, and I’ll laugh and make a joke about how I’ll love it but deep down inside I wish that you joke or say to me about being with you.


    I have feelings. I have a heart. In fact, I probably have a bigger and better heart than any guy you've ever known because I had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and I like you anyway. I obviously see something worthwhile, beautiful, special and redeeming in you because although there were times when you've tried to push me away, although you have given me nothing and absolutely no reason to still be around, I still am.

    Someday though, I might not be around anymore.