The Shadow

• Artist: xXRoseBerryXx
• Description: This was demonstrating on how the life of the
  spirit world and that can haunt your life.
  It was showing the life of demons
  who rome around the earth scaring others.
  Please comment :]
• Date: 07/21/2008
• Tags: shadowdark

It's time to run.

Find a place to hide.

But nowhere to go.

Shh, it's getting closer...

Hiding under your sheets.

Staying still and slowly breathing,

You should have run! You should have run!

It's too late now.

Your destiny awaits behind that door.

*knock, knock* the young boy hesitates.

*knock, knock* a tear dropp falls down his cheeks.

*knock, knock* 'Go away! Just leave me alone! '

*knock, knock* the door cracks open.

Nothing but a shadow walks in.

The boy was too scared to even take a peek.

The dark room surrounded the poor boy.

The boy was gasping for air.

The shadow breathed heavily near him.

What could happen next?

Comments

[MagicalAngelofLove]

Loved it

[Its_a_Kiki_thing]

ok?

[Atheshya]

Finish the poem, write about what happens after the last line. Asides from that, the only other unenjoyable thing about this poem is the tense change toward the end - you were consistantly writing in present tense until the line 'The boy was too scared to even take a peek.' Change the word 'was' to 'is'. Do the same for the other past tense lines.

Aside from that, I really liked it. It's very stream-of-conciousness, which is a good thing, in my opinion.

[reapersuns manfriend]

Always start writing when it's still fresh on your mind so you can get the same concept down, and not be lost within your poem on where to go next. I'll be looking forward to seeing your poem completed. ^_^

[xXRoseBerryXx]

it was late at night when
i wrote it ^^; so i guess
i didn't have time to finish it

[reapersuns manfriend]

I enjoyed it completely, until the very last line.
It was kinda disappointing to see the poem with a question at the end. It shows the writer's lack of creativity, and gives me an unfinished poem to read.