• I walked into the large library, my crimson dress flowing like a river behind me. This was my escape, my area to sort through my emotions and decide the right thing to do. Somehow I always found comfort sitting amongst all the mahogany and soft rays of the sun. Sitting on my plush velvet chair, I would write in my worn out leather journal and figure everything out, but after today I wasn’t sure if I was even going to be able to write down all of my thoughts and emotions. As I stared at the worn journal I realized that there might be no way to fix this problem. The one problem I was never expecting. I had no idea how it happened but my journal was keeping the secrets from me for once. I knew I needed go back to the point where this all started. It was three months ago, when I decided that I had to be his wife. There was no other option.
    I gently sat down in my chair and opened the pages of my journal flipping to the entry that I knew would be the beginning of all of this. The first ball of the season, I could hardly remember it now, I had shown up in a luscious purple gown that made my dark black hair and fierce green eyes stand out from the crowd of girls swirling around in their different arrays of ball gowns. When I first laid eyes on him I realized that this man would have a lasting effect on me. Francis, the man I soon was to fall head over heels in love with was a kind, gentle man with deep brown eyes and dark blond hair. I found him strange at first for he was the only bachelor who was not flirting with any available woman. He merely stood aloof and watched as the festivities went on around him. While I danced with a few men, noticing this I couldn’t really focus on dancing, I wanted to know who this stranger was and try to figure out why he wasn’t even attempting to take part in any of the festivities. I soon spotted my best friend Minerva across the room flirting with a few bachelors. I elegantly walked over to Minerva and politely asked “Minerva, may I please talk to you alone for a minute?”
    “Of course,” Minerva replied sweetly. After excusing herself from the men she said, “What’s the matter Rowena? I was having a nice conversation with those men.”
    “I was just curious about that man over there,” I replied pointing in the direction of Francis, “Do you have any clue who he is or what his status may be?”
    Minerva, looking over at Francis, explained “Oh, him? You’re not the only one who’s had an eye on him all night. Trust me. Nobody knows who he is or what he’s doing here. It might be safest staying away from him.”
    “Actually I think I will go talk to him.” I replied determining to be the nicest at the party.
    “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Minerva responded with a sassy tone to her voice.
    As I walked over to him I knew that this moment might ruin my social status, which in turn would ruin my life. As I walked closer to Francis, I grew more nervous about what was happening. I might just be telling my spot in high society goodbye by talking to this complete stranger. Suddenly he looked at me and my whole world froze, I gently shook my head and smiled at him.
    “Hello Sir my friend and I were quite curious as to whom you may be as we’ve never seen you about before.” I asked gently.
    “Hello Miss, I’m Francis, I’m quite sure you and your friend have never seen me around due to the fact that this is the first ball I’ve ever gone to. My family recently entered the ranks of high society so I’m not used to this sort of party,” he politely replied.
    To which I calmly asked, “Would you like a quick lesson in the rules of high society events such as this one?”
    “I think it may prove helpful to keeping these ladies from glaring at me for just standing here,” he gaily replied.
    "Then I will gladly help you," I replied with a gentle smile on my face. After that I explained to him all the rules that high society has such as when he should tip his hat, bow, drink or smoke in front of ladies, and about how ladies should always be chaperoned. I also explained to him all the titles and social standings, where he stood and where he should sit due to that social standing.
    While that was an important night to me, it was not the night I fell for him. That didn’t happen for many months. As I flipped through the yellowing pages of my journal I found a note Minerva had given me as a warning to not fall for Francis because it would lead to my fall from society. However this warning reminded me about today.It’s my birthday. As usual, I’m was going to have an extravagant ball to celebrate me turning 17, which marks my second full season in society because my birthday falls right before the season is over. I decided it’s best to think back to how my day started it might help me understand everything that had happened.
    I had just woken up and knew that I would only have about an hour to myself. deciding that I would write in my journal even though I knew that it would lead to getting in trouble with my mother. My mother was always telling me, “Ladies are not to be writing anything but the necessary notes and letters.” However, I needed to tell my journal all the details. There were the decorations, such as the red roses, my favorite and purple velvet tablecloths. The food would also include my favorites, such as chocolate covered strawberries and red velvet cake. What I was going to wear that night, a bright crimson velvet ball gown that showed off my tiny waist and delicate ivory skin. My hair that was going to be half up so that I could have a beautiful crown of red roses in my hair and half down so that I could show off my lovely curls.
    As I walked into the library I almost instantly knew it was gone. I briskly walked over to my desk so that I would know for certain if it was gone but as I looked down upon the desk I realized that all of my secrets might have just walked out of the room. I quickly ran through my mind everyone who might have taken it, my Mother and Minerva, the only ones who knew I had a journal. My mother, whom it may seem like she was the most probable person to do so, lets me keep the journal to record extremely important events. Minerva did pay a visit to my house last night but to my knowledge never went near the library, besides she was my best friend and knew most of my secrets already. After thinking through this I decided I would ask my mother and maybe a few servants to see if anyone knew about what may have happened in the library concerning my journal. However before I could even think about who I should talk to first my mother walked into the room looking really angry.
    “Rowena, what do you think you’re doing in here you’re supposed to be getting ready for tonight besides if someone saw you who knows what kind of rumors would start.” She said with a brisk huffy kind of voice that told me how stressed she was about tonight’s event.
    “I am sorry Mother I was merely going to write in my journal for a few minutes. Do you happen to know where my journal may be?” I answered sweetly with a gentle smile on my face to try to keep her from being too angry.
    “Of course I have no clue where you put that thing,” she said throwing her hands in the air and turning to walk out of the room, “but you have other things to worry about such as getting ready for tonight.”
    I watched as she quickly walked out of the room realizing that I would have to hold off my search for my journal until after tonight. I hurriedly walked out of the room so that I would be in my room before the maids got there to help me with my dress and hair, which would take hours, plus finalizing any unconfirmed details for the ball tonight. The ball started at 6pm and I was to greet every guest at the door when they arrived as it was my party and I had to be a proper hostess. It was 5:30 by the time I had finished preparing for the ball so I quickly but elegantly rushed to the door where I would greet every guest as they arrived. I got there just as the first guest was arriving and just after saying the proper hellos and how do you dos the second guest showed up this process continued on until the finale guest showed up at about 6 which of course was perfect timing. After that we had a dinner that included roasted goose, salmon, julienne soup, and lobster. Right after dinner we went to the ballroom and danced. However I only danced a few times and greeted the 2 stragglers who had just showed up, Francis and Minerva, which surprised me. As I walked up to them I noticed that Francis was trying not to look at me and then I saw it, Minerva was holding my journal! Knowing I had to greet them politely before questioning her as I had noticed my mother was watching me.
    Holding back my anger and curtsying, I politely said “Hello Francis. Hello Minerva. It is a pleasant surprise to see you both here tonight after being so late.”
    Francis still making an effort to look away from me without being rude meekly replied with “The carriage broke down on our way.”
    “Oh, that’s a shame well at least you made it then,” I replied with a fake smile plastered on my face, “Minerva would you mind going to the powder room with me, I need someone to help me with something.”
    “Absolutely,” She answered with a smile on her face that told me she was hiding something, “I needed to use it myself”
    Once safely in the powder room I rounded on her, “what do you think you’re doing with my journal,” I growled angrily as I ripped it out of her hand, “absolutely no one is allowed to read it, you should know that. You also already knew I had an eye on Francis but you show up with him tonight like you’re courting”
    As I stood their pulsing with anger all she could meekly reply was “I felt like you were hiding something from me and I wanted to know what, after I realized that it was just how much you liked Francis I decided to tell him for you that’s all.”
    Shaking with anger and hurt I ran to the only place I knew I would be able to think, the library.