• Something about the way he looks at me.. Just makes me melt inside, my heart drops to my stomach. It seems everything he does is perfect even though everyone else just sees a big weirdo with no life, but me? I see perfection with everything he does. He's the sweetest, funniest, most amazing person I've ever met. He's my best friend and secret lover.....

    This is the story of a normal teenage band geek, hoplessly in love with her best friend. There's a twist though... Her best friend has a girl he loves... and The girls boyfriend just so happens to be her best friends' best friend...

    4 years ago..

    It seemed like a normal day..The first day of 8th grade seemed the same as every other first day of a new grade.. Anyway, it was mid summer. The bright sinshine beaming from my cheeks as I walked along to find all my new classes. First period, History..."Ughh" I groaned as I finished my last sip of coffee walking into the new atmosphere. The classroom was empty, and the teacher sat there brightfaced as he gave me a warm welcome. I didn't talk much so I nodded and sat into an open seat. The bell rang and suddenly many others began to pour into the room, all my best guy friends sat around me and we joked and had a good time. It wasn't so bad..The bell rang and I went to my 2nd period..The day seemed to drag on as my many new teachers described their classes and whatnot. As I arrived into the double block of english...From the moment I walked into the room and looked at him.. I had no idea that my life would change from that moment on..
    So we sat by a seating chart He sat directly a seat back and to the right of me, diagonally from mine. II looked over to him and saw his pale features. He looked lke some ordinary person so I didn't really talk to him. We'd exchange hi's and a couple hugs here and there through out the year. The last couple months we started to actually talk. He seemed really nice.. We talked on this one website and I'd say hi and other weird things. I began to come out of my shell a bit...
    9th grade came around we had another class together.Turned out it was PE 4th period. I smiled on the first day and ran up to him said my HERRO! and smiled brightly up to his pale features. I opened my eyes and smiled and looked up.. His eyes seemed to sparkle.. I caught my blush before he saw it...I think... And turned around quickly to greet my other friends. The year went by just like the last...TWhile i spent the time with him at PE I realized he was really really nice... Had I developed a crush? I began to go to my marching band practices like I had during the summer, but why was he always on my mind? hinking of his bright hellos, his warm smiles, his glistening eyes and how lovely they where when he looked at me...I shook my head as I heard the clicking of that darn beeb thingy to help us keep time.
    10th grade..I walked to my new classes just like last year first period the same, marching band. We ran through our music and marched in place doing step offs and working on the music. Second period came along Earth science felt like the most boring class I've ever been in, literally wooshing my head back and forth like some possessed rag doll. I went over to 3rd period for PE. We all went into the gym and I sat in some deserted corner by myself. I looked over to the big swinging doors and sure enough he came walking in. I blushed when he set his gaze over to me, I quickly turnedaway stuffing my face into the contents of my book bag. I hear a soft thud next to me and I look up as he sat right next to me. I felt my face get a bit hot again as I looked back down to my bag. I looked over and gave him my hello hug, in my mind Running into his embrace.. anyway I said hello and we began to talk as usual. The year fell into place.. until IT happened..
    It was a cold cloudy morning, but nice outside. I went over to my little group of friends, although half way there I discovered my best girl-friend(at the time) and The guy I was pretty much in love with...holding hands? I kept walking and I looked at the two baffled as to what was going on. She hugged me smileing saying they'd gotten together. I smiled and hugged her half happily and congrated both. I looked at him maybe once as the bell rang and I sped walked over to the band room. I felt like crying and was nauseous at the same time, but I held it in. I got home later and I still hide it inside. The same routine every morning. The painfulness of watching them hand in hand, kiss every now and then. I started drifting father and farther apart.
    About 4 months later he started texting me, he was so unhappy. I felt horrible so I texted him everyday, gave him advice, made him laugh...Oh that laugh, I couldn't help but laugh along with him. Things got good again. They broke up soon after and neither of them where that sad. We kept texting. Everyday almost. We started to hang out too and we had the most amazing time, sharing laughs, those silent moments where we just kinda looked at eachother.. His eyes always sparkled, and gave me a feeling where my stomach dropped whenever he looked at me. We where inseperable, the best friends anyone could ever imagine. This went on till about 3 quarters into Junior Year. One of his friends needed someone to love, he was lonely and he was dropped onto me. I said I'd date him, but lemme tell you. I was completely miserable on the inside. Was I not good enough for me secret lover? Did he not love me? I went on this way still texting him, the same way,for about 5 months. By then I couldn't take it anymore. My best friend had to break up with his current lover because of her parents. He called me crying that night, I made him feel better and then the one thing I should've just kept to myself, I spilled out to him."I-I'm in love with you" I wish I had never said that..
    The very next day he texts me saying hes going to stop hanging around me and everything so I could get over him, he wanted to wait for his lover. I was left with my boyfriend. He told my boyfriend everything with made things etchy between us. We decided to take a break about a day later. And then broke up about 2 days later... And now I don't know what else I can do. I love you, but now I'm afraid to tell you anything. The best I can be is your friend. Am I still not good enough for you? Please tell me...Because I've loved you.. for much too long..