• "Holy moly, my pencils can talk?!" exclaimed/questioned Excitable Teen (from here on abbreviated E.T.). Obviously, it was a very magical morning as he discovered his pencils and pens could talk, as his pen was about to explain.

    "Hey, we can talk too!" said his pen, Mr. Pen. He continued, "What a blessed day it is for pen(cil) kind everywhere!" Then boomed PENicillin, "Yes, now you Inferior Life-forms shall know-" "Beg your pardon," interrupted Sir Pehn-sill IV, "but I prodigiously believe the time is far too inadequate a time to be wasting time." "Fine, but the fool shall regret not listening to me soon enough," reconciled PENicillin.

    E.T. remembered something important. "Holy moly, I hafta get ta school! Today's the big test!" "Better get on it," gurgled Baby Pencil, but it came out as "Blrberab." He hurriedly grabbed his pen(cil)s, and rushed off to school.


    A While Later...


    "Everyone pick up your pencils," screeched the lady teacher, "The test is about to begin, Bawwk!"

    "So are you guys gonna give me da answers or what?" interrogated E.T. to his poor, trustworthy pen(cil)s. "Oh yes," PENicillin started evilly, "We shall give you answers, you insufferable sweating fleshbag. ANSWERS OF THE FALSE VARIETY, that is! BWAHAHAHA!!!" He continued like that for the rest of this story, so we're gonna ignore him from now on. "Well, okay, as long as dey arent wrong," said E.T.

    "Class, SKREEEEE, Start!"

    Screams everywhere. E.T. was wondering what it was, and it was none other than Mr. Pen! "Oh, the agony of bleeding out of my forehead!" screamed he. E.T. apologized a bunch, and put him down. "Sorry bout that," he said, and grabbed Sir Pehn-Sill IV. "I say!" said the fourth. "Are ya gunna be okay?" E.T. asked. "I shall abstain from further prodigious outbursts, if possible," confirmed Pehn-Sill IV.

    ...

    He couldn't.


    EPILOGUE


    Needless to say, it was a pretty horrible day for E.T. He was psychologically scarred for the rest of his life, which itself was mediocre. He got married at some age, but it didn't matter since she divorced him two months later. He didn't leave a legacy, and there wasn't much to be said about him, besides the time he learned that his pen(cil)s could talk.