• tab tab Dear diary,

    tab I don't even know why I have a diary, much less why I'm writing in it. I am probably not gonna write in this book every single night. But I think I'm writing in this 'cause I'm concerned about where I'm heading. I need some guidance, some counseling, but I don't know anyone who can help other than myself. Maybe if I can reflect enough in the past events, some sort of introspection, I can find out where things are going wrong and who to blame. So far I have found a lot of wrong thing that have made things awkward. I realized I had more problems than I thought and that were more severe than I wanted them to be. But where would we want our problems to be? Certainly not as they are currently (but they could be worse) and absolutely out of our lives.
    tab But they can't be. As soon as one goes another comes, either better or worse than the one we just solved. Anything from a math problem to a parents' divorce. But what can we do about it? Solve them, of course. But they can't be solved if it's not just your problem; everyone involved must pitch in to solve it. For example: a divorce. It won't be solved if mama and papa can't seem to agree to come back together. But what about the children? It seems that they ain't got s**t of a word in it; it's just between the parents. That's a problem because without an agreement the problem can't be solved and it satellites into other, smaller, but significant problems. That's what I figured was the main problem: just one big problem that was left unsolved and turned bigger. Satellite Problems.
    tab From the beginning: I have a mother, and a father, but he is gone. Not dead, but away. Not out of our lives, but absent. Typical mistake of a man to fall for a younger and prettier, if not, hotter woman or, actually, girl, if not, b***h. A solitary and desperate wife left behind. Typically, that man gets dumped by that same b***h and runs off to another younger, hotter, if not, more potent guy. A foolish old man cryin' in the rain. Don't wanna sound mean, but serves that foolish old man right.
    :tab biggrin on't wanna sound harsh either, but I think my mom went a little crazy and insane since the breakup. I pray it doesn't happen to me because I'm already starting to notice some strange changes. I pray that if it doesn't happen now it won't happen as problems pile up.
    tab My father left my mom. What's one thing got to do with the other? With my problem with my mother, with my father, my sister, my school, my girlfriend, and with my friends? When my mother snapped, lets put it that way, she got extremely paranoid and extremely possessive of me, since I'm the youngest of two and the only one still at home (sister moved in with fiance).
    tab I called my sis to tell her how my mom grabbed my phone while I was asleep and sent a text to my girlfriend telling her that "I" wanted to break up with her and how Jenny wouldn't answer my phone calls and avoided me at school for a whole week and how I got into a fight with her brother for going to look for her at her house and then with her ex (however the ******** that happened). I also visited my sister and her fiance to talk and felt some tension between them. Knowing my sister well, I could tell that our parents separating was affecting her since she usually brings conflict into the wrong places when she's worried. How could this have happened? We grew up in what might be the happiest family in history and then it's all torn away by some evil girl that destroyed our family. But I blame my dad. He's the one who fell into temptation. That's who's responsible: dad. The big problem that started it all: lust, also a deadly sin. He'll burn in hell for it. I hope.
    tab Besides write and complain is all a can do for now. Nothing else I can do but ride out the storm. This whole month has been hell and I hope the following aren't the same. God I hate that b***h (my dad).