• Growing up facing your own mortality puts the whole world into a different perspective. The sun is no longer a large ball of fire in the sky that brings each new day but a beacon of light, celebrating with you celebrating one more day alive. I have known that I was going to die young since I was a young girl I remember running into my papas room and seeing mother crying desperately in his arms, clinging to him as if he was a life float and she was drowning at sea. I think it was then that it truly sank in, or possibly before maybe even from when I was in my mothers stomach maybe that why I came so early, so I could get as much life as possible.

    “Kai come in now, your going to catch your death in this weather.”

    I whipped my head around in a sudden jerking motion as my mothers beckoning woke me from my thoughts. I stood up slowly using my hand to keep my balance and wiped the grass off my but and the front of my skirt. I knew mother would give me a good lecture about how young ladies should not play around in fields and get dirty and how I was much more suited to sewing with her and grandmother. Sewing had never interested me it was far o tedious, no I much more preferred the large field and fields of wild flowers There was nothing compared to the feel of the sun hitting your skin while the wind brushes you gently and surrounds you in its cooling embrace.

    As predicted Mother had given me a stern lecture after dinner and sent me to my room. I didn’t blame her, my mother wasn’t cruel or mean she was just concerned for me she had always been like that as if my bones were made of glass and my health as comprimisable as a leaf in the wind. She had tried for many years to keep me like a bird in a cage safe protected by lonely and sectioned of from the rest of the world.