• CHAPTER 3: Ballad of Poncho

    tab And so, Rickshaw, the Tide lady and Hammy set out on a quest for America. Along the way, they meet a man wearing a poncho. “Excuse me, Sir?” asks Rickshaw. Before Rickshaw could finish, the man in the poncho hopped, startled or something, and dashed away in blinding speed. Having been startled by his amazing escape, they give chase. Rickshaw pulls his Battle Rickshaw, heavily pursuing the man in the poncho as Hammy mans the gun. Hammy was practicing his aim on a few rocks shaped like Billy Mays. Then, Hammy accidently shoots the real Billy Mays.

    tab Billy Mays, mad as Hell, suddenly turns into a giant mecha Oxy-Clean bottle. As Rickshaw throws the Tide lady a Fish-rocket launcher, Hammy fires the Battle Rickshaw’s gun at the Mecha Oxy Clean. The Mecha Oxy-Clean fires Toxic Oxy-Clean balls at Rickshaw’s Battle Rickshaw, as Rickshaw swerves around them with excellent Precision. Both passengers on the Battle Rickshaw fires at the Mecha Bottle, but its Mighty Putty shield is too powerful for bullets alone. Then, Hammy Pulls out an RPG-7 and aims it at the tip of the Mecha spray bottle. Hammy fires at it and it hits the front head on. The Mecha Oxy-Clean’s Mighty Putty force field was destroyed by the hit. Tide Lady then uses the grenade launcher and fires into the Oxy-clean Bottle, The Oxy-Clean bottle explodes, and the acid spreads everywhere, melting every Rock, Tree and bike in the area.

    tab Then, the acid melts a hut, where a Mexican man hiding in what was a hut is revealed. It was the same man in the poncho. Rickshaw approaches the man and once again said “Excuse me,” The Startled poncho man had nowhere to run this time. “Do you know where Mr. T is?” The poncho man doesn’t understand English very well, but he tried his best to respond “Mr. T se encuentra en los Estados, y parecía haber perdido mi amigo Omar” Rickshaw, thanks to his book “5-second Spanish” Instantly learns Spanish and responds to Poncho. “Muchas gracias y lo intentaremos encontrar Omar, ¿cuál es tu nombre? ” The man in the Poncho responds “Yo s oy Poncho, estoy tratando de escapar EL REFEREE.” And so, Poncho runs of in the distance because he has no time to lose, THE ENFORCER is still hot on his trail.

    tab As Rickshaw and friends travel Singapore with their Battle Rickshaw, in search for the American Border, they prepare for the worst, They meet Bromley. Rickshaw asks him, “What are YOU doing here?!?” Bromley explains his story as of why he was in the middle of a Desert in Singapore, but his story was quickly ignored. And so, Bromley joined Rickshaw’s Battle Rickshaw force, forming the R-Team.

    tab They travel Singapore, in search of more clues as to where Mr. T is, instead they find chocolate bars, seems to be Doc Louis’ favourite brand of chocolate bar too, called the Bikelate Bar. The R-Team then runs into a man, who’s name is Chuck Borris. Rickshaw tries to confront the Chuck Norris lookalike, but he stands there silently still. Rickshaw charges at Chuck Borris with amazing speed. Chuck Borris then pulls out an M60 from his afro and fires at the Battle Rickshaw. The bullets bounce off like rubber, and one hits Chuck Boris in the eye. He dies.

    tab The R-Team continues on their journey, and Rickshaw then reaches his next destination. They arrive at a local bike store, “The Cycle path” The store owner seems distressed. “What’s wrong?” asked Rickshaw “What happened to all the bikes?” The owner started sobbing and said “They were stolen... By Doc Louis!" Everyone in the store gasped. “Doc LOUIS!?!?” exclaimed Rickshaw in total surprise. Apperently Doc Louis stole every bike in the store. “I remember Doc Louis! He stole my bike When I was trying to snowboard in a volcano!” Said the Tide Lady.

    tab Then, Poncho enters the store with a book 5 Second English “Please help me! THE ENFORCER is right behind me! Hide me!” So Rickshaw shoves Poncho in the Battle Rickshaw. Then, a not-so-impressive-yet-at-the-same-time-somewhat-impressive figure enters the store, wearing a ridiculous helmet and aviator shades. “Do you know where Poncho is? He is an illegal immigrant and is trying to enter America!” Nobody responds, because they are too busy grieving the loss of the bikes. THE ENFORCER then eats a bike lock and leaves the room. Poncho is safe for another day.