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Darkness began to fade as the dawn approached. A light breeze tickled the early summer leaves. Fish played with the insects that ventured within their reach. A filed of lilies bowed to the breeze, allowing their fragrance to tease the air.
Kohana pushed her hair from her face. Exhaustion showed on her delicate features. The night had been busy. She had followed a set of shadowed figures as they tried to slip past her small village. Over the low mountains, she had traced their steps, curiosity growing inside her. She had paused at the edge of the lily filled meadow. She breathed slowly and carefully. Another figure approached the pair Kohana had followed. The taller of the first figures stepped between its companion and the newcomer. Kohana strained to hear. She couldn’t make out the words but heard the distinct difference of a woman and man. Kohana heard the woman shout still standing between the others.
“He’s just a child.” Kohana had heard her clearly.
The man seemed to shake his head at the woman. A low chuckle accosted Kohana’s ears as a slight chill crept up her spine. The tall figure reached inside his cloak. Moonlight danced upon the blade he withdrew. With a well practiced motion, he swung wide. The woman let out a screech as she fell. The shortest figure fell backward, the hood of its own cloak falling to reveal a child’s frightened face.
Kohana’s breath caught in her chest. The man dropped his cloak to the ground. His short, black hair seemed to absorb the moonlight. In a swift, effortless motion, he raised the blade again.
The boy raised an arm to fend off the man towering over him. The man grunted. The boy watched as the man stumbled back. The sword dropped to the ground as the man attempted to regain his balance. The handle of a dagger protruded from his shoulder. His face twisted in anger he pulled the dagger from his flesh. He looked in the direction the dagger came from to find a young woman rushing toward him. Kohana’s blue eyes shone in the moonlight as she drew her own blade. Her red hair seemed like flame in the night. She slashed through the air, the sharp blade catching the man’s thigh. He cried out. The boy whimpered as he tried to get to his feet, his fear making things difficult. Kohana stepped over the boy as the man retrieved his sword. Metal hit metal as the blades connected. The boy crouched low, covering his ears. Guttural sounds echoed across the filed. Whimpers from the boy became the only sound after a few moments. Kohana knelt beside the boy, softly touching his arm. His pale blue eyes, filled with tears, looked up at her. She took the boy’s hand, leading him out of the lily field to the village.
Dawn crept into the sky. The pair reached the village as the sun peered over the mountains. Kohana prepared something for the boy to eat then allowed him to sleep. As the boy slept, Kohana paced. A knock at her door made her jump. Drawing her katana, she answered the calling at her door. She let out a heavy sigh, allowing the door swing open.
“Expecting someone?” A young man asked upon seeing the katana.
Kohana gave him an irritated glance. After sheathing her sword, she ran her hands through her hair. She motioned for her visitor to sit as she began to explain the night’s events. The man’s eyes focused on Kohana as she spoke. He sat back, trying to absorb her tale.
- by Shimizu Kohana |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 03/16/2010 |
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- Title: Meeting the Lost...
- Artist: Shimizu Kohana
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Description:
This is part of the ongoing story I'm trying to create, based on my avi.
I RLY WANT COMMENTS MORE THAN RATINGS! DON'T WORRY ABOUT HURTING MY FEELINGS IF YOU THINK THERE IS SOMETHING I NEED TO IMPROVE ON!! - Date: 03/16/2010
- Tags: meeting lost kohana saga
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Comments (2 Comments)
- NelemNaru - 03/20/2010
- Other than that, the story captivated my attention. I definitely want to find out what happens next. Keep up the good work!
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- NelemNaru - 03/20/2010
- I like it. Very good use of description. One thing I think can be improved is the sentence structure. Use more sentence openers, instead of just starting with the subject. For example, "Drawing her katana, she answered the..." and "After sheathing her sword, she ran her hands through..." are good sentence openers. Don't use them in every sentence, but do use them more often. It makes the story flow better. Also, I noticed you used 'filed' a couple of times when I think you meant 'field.'
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