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My story won’t start like one should, with the hero going on a big quest to save the world or any thing like that. No I’m dead, not so sick I feel like I am dead, I’m not in trouble. I’m six feet under in a casket. My tombstone reads, “Here lay David Robertson.” That’s it, no family reference no good friend reference just my name. It’s lame I know but it wasn’t my choice if it was my chose it would say “Here lay David Robertson so awesome he won the game”, but you don’t get to chose when you’re pumped full of lead while walking through a street.
It was the Blood controlled part of my little town. I was there to be there, just felt like going on a walk and wasn’t paying attention. I saw a few people lurking in the alleys and I noticed they were wearing blue. “Oh boy I gotta get outa hear!” I thought to myself. I started running and hear a gun shot ring out followed by another and another. I hit the end of the street and pause. My eyes dart from left to right. Suddenly I hear a high-powered rifle go off and a bullet catches my leg. I collapse and fall to my knees, a few more wiz pass as they miss ever so slightly a few skim me and then for solid hit in my back and through my chest. The floor is stained red as a fall into a puddle of my blood.
The pain vanishes and everything blacks out.
Now I’m hearing at the cemetery a five three fifteen year old dead kid. Oh joy. I can’t help to think. I walk out of the cemetery, well float anyway. I know no one can see me but I wish they could, it’s like being ignored but more so because they don’t start when they see you they just don’t see you, so you cant try and annoy them. “Can I like haunting people?” I say out loud. A bus pulls up a block down the street. I rush to catch up I bypass a car and realize I can move a hell of a lot faster than be for. I fly clean through the back of the bus. I see an open seat and sit down in it. The fact that I feel contact is a good sigh that I might be able to influence the world.
As the bus trudges along, two men sit on either side of me. “Hay watch it jackass!” I say to the man on my right.
“Wazat?” the man stammers
“I said nothing sir” The man on the left replies. Impression time I think to my self
“Drunken a**” I say in the most uptight voice I can.
“Thaz it!” The man on my right yells as he through a strait punch right through me he pauses before he hits the guy and shivers. I focus and look at him angrily. This will be so awesome if this works I think to myself as the guy pulls his arm away and I focus harder. I tap his shoulder contact! I think to my self. He looks over and yells when he sees me. Stumbling out of his se he yells “Ghost! It’s firkin’ ghost!” he falls just before he reaches the door and passes out.
The ambulances arrive as leave. “Holy s**t! That was awesome.” I think out loud, as I walk, no wait float, away. A man passes my on the street and makes eye contact. He stops and stairs he is only about five three, not a tall man. He has a black bowl cut and a small goatee. “Can- can you see me?” I ask.
“NOW” the man shouts and I "pass out" or whatever you want to call it.
- by Whiteboy9576 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 11/27/2009 |
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- Title: Untitled
- Artist: Whiteboy9576
- Description: This story has no title if you want to help me make one. This also contains cussing.
- Date: 11/27/2009
- Tags: untitled
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Luna De Fuego Caelum - 11/28/2009
- alright, its well written, really drew me into it, but maybe if you drew it out a little more. Your transitioning of sentences needs a little work. But over all, i think its about a 3. But keep trying, i know youll get it.
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- Cerberus0.4 - 11/27/2009
- Mauling me with your awesomness. Breaking the rules most writers go by, including me, applauding your awesomeness...And you made me lose the game all in one story. Nice.
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