• I walked home from school that day. It was a good day. Sunny, warm. People were happy. So was I, or so I thought. That day changed my life forever. I will never be the same because of the events of that day. Everything I knew, know, had been changed. It will never be the same, for me or anyone I know, or hold dear.



    Chapter One

    Layla’s POV


    “Yeah, sure. I’ll see if I can come out tonight.” I said as I left my friends to walk our separate ways after a day of school. It was way too hot today and they wanted me to go swimming in the lake with them. I thought it was a great idea, this summer was going to be way too hot “Bye guys. See you later.”

    As I walked away and went down the street towards my house, my mom pulled up in the car “Come on, get in. The boys want ice cream, so I was going to bring us all out.”

    I nodded and got in “Yeah, and can I go out with my friends later? Swimming of course. And it is Friday so there isn’t school tomorrow or anything, is there?”

    My mom smiled as she drove down the street “Yeah. I don’t have any plans tonight or tomorrow. Go ahead. Be back by twelve tonight.”

    “Thanks mom. I love you.” I said and smiled. I watched out the window until we got to the ice cream shop. It doubled one of the local corner stores. It was the closest place to get ice cream from our house.

    We got out of the car and hurried into the store, to get away from the blistering heat. My mom ordered and small vanilla sundae with caramel drizzle and nuts for my brother and a medium for herself. She turned to me “What do you want, Layla?”

    “Medium vanilla with caramel please.” I said and took it when she handed it to me “Thanks.” I took a bite and leaned against the wall of the store. I waited for my mom to pay and then led my brothers back to the car.

    My mom got in and we drove back to our house. By the time we got back, my ice cream was gone and so was everyone else’s. When I got out, I noticed that it had cooled down quite a bit and smiled. I went into the house, threw my school bag down and got changed to go swimming.

    My phone started singing ‘Let’s Dance’ by Hawk Nelson and I looked to see who had texted me. It was my friend Kaily. It said ‘r u coming.’ I answered it with ‘Yeah. I’ll be there soon. Under the bridge, right?’

    I put on a bathing suit cover dress and got a towel for after. I put it in a bag and threw it at my door. I fed my pet rat and took her out of her cage to play with her. She crawled up my arm and onto my shoulder to hide in my hair. I played with her for a few minutes before putting her back into her cage.

    My phone went off again and all it said was ‘ya.’ I grabbed my things and went outside to get my bike. I didn’t particularly like my bike, but it would get me there faster. I rode down to the park, threw my bike near the shoreline, took off the dress and jumped into the water, making a huge splash. My friends squealed as I splashed them.

    “My curfew is midnight tonight. That gives us plenty of time.” I said and sunk into the cool, refreshing water.

    “That’s awesome.” My friend, Akisame said, who was sitting in the shallower part of the water “My curfew is eleven thirty, surprisingly. You know how retarded my dad is. I was surprised to be allowed out.”
    “Lucky buts! Mine is only nine thirty!” Suki said and splashed both me and Akisame.

    “Same with mine. Want to walk with me for as much as we can?” Kaily asked and Suki nodded “Good. We still have a few hours.”

    “You guys should leave around seven thirty then, unless you have bus money.” I said.

    ♥ Ͽ

    By the time it was seven thirty, all of us had gotten out and had mostly dried off “See you later. Don’t let the monsters get you.” Suki said as she and Kaily walked away.

    I smiled “Of course not. You know that we’re the scariest things here.”

    Kaily and Suki laughed “Oh, of course. Bye.” Kaily said as they went around the corner, out of sight.

    I fell back and sat on the grass by the water “So, what are we going to until it’s time to go home?”

    Akisame shrugged “I don’t know. Something slightly amusing. Maybe go into the cemetery?”

    “Yeah sure. That’s always interesting” I said and stood back up.

    We walked for about ten minutes to the nearest cemetery. We did this sometimes, mostly when one of us was depressed, but it just kept going, more out of habit, after the depression stuff. When we got there the closest gate was closed, but we didn’t feel like going around to the other open one. We simply climbed over the fence and kept walking.

    We were for the most part silent as we walked. I think we both went into our thoughts and maybe we were a bit lost in ourselves. All we could hear was the sound of our own footsteps walking on the gravel road.

    Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something. It was a very old looking gravestone. I stopped and went over to it. It turned out the gravestone was very old. I could barely read the writing on it. All I could see was ‘1812-1821’ and the last name ‘Mason,’ everything else was unreadable.

    “It looks like it had some sort of poem or something on it.” Akisame said, coming to stand beside me.

    I nodded and ran my fingers over the stone, feeling the slight bumps that were left or it “He was only nine when they died. That’s horrible. I wonder how his family felt.”

    “Probably a lot like what we’re feeling now.” Akisame said and sighed.

    I sighed and closed my eyes “Yeah. I suppose they would feel like us.”

    Akisame started to walk away, anxious to go into her thoughts and I followed. Neither of us said anything again, well, that I noticed anyway. She could have been talking but I was too lost in thought to notice.

    I wondered about the kid who’s gravestone I just read. I wondered how he died: Sickness, accident, suicide, murder or some other cause of death. I thought about his family too. They must have been devastated, no matter how the kid died. I wondered if anyone died with him. I wonder how many people felt guilty for his death. I wondered what he was like before his death. I thought he would be a happy kid, smiling and had lots of energy. One of those kids who almost never seemed upset.

    I also thought about my little brother. Not the ones I could see anytime, but the one that I knew I would never see again, not in this life anyway. He died when he was only seven months old. The autopsy said he died from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, but I’m not foolish. I know the truth. In truth, he was murdered.

    He was seven months old at the time. It was on Valentines day. I was about two. While we were sleeping, our step-father crept into the room and suffocated him. No scar tissue showed up because there was no fight involved. He just died. I was in the room and slept right through it. I didn’t find this out until we moved away from there and away from that guy. No one knew, and now it’s too late to prove. Not that we could ever prove it then.

    After my brother was killed my mom was stuck in that relationship with him. They had two kids and when my youngest brother was two, they separated. I was about eleven. We moved a year later to a new city and stayed there. We moved on with our life, and then I found out what actually happened. I was devastated. Of course I hid it. My mom didn’t see the depression, but my friends did.

    I sighed and shook my head as I came back to the real world. We had walked for a long time and were just leaving the cemetery. I looked around and sighed. It was dark now and Akisame was on the phone with her mom.

    “What’s going on?” I asked her when she got off the phone.

    “I was apparently supposed to be home by ten.” She said and rolled her eyes “It’s eleven now.”

    I rolled my eyes “Your dad changed the curfew after you left again? Oh well. Let’s get back then.”

    “Yeah okay.” She said and we started to walk back to her house.

    By the time we got there it was eleven thirty, we took our time, and Akisame’s mother had called again right before we went into her apartment building. We went into the elevator and went to Akisame’s floor. We were silent until they got to Akisame’s door.

    I smiled at her “I would go in with you, but your dad can be pretty scary. Good luck.”

    Akisame laughed “Yeah. He is scary at the best of times. I’ll text you if I’m not grounded.”

    “Yeah. I might be on MSN later, but who knows. If you aren’t grounded I’ll talk to you there.” I said and turned around as she went into her apartment. Her apartment was pretty nice. Almost condo sized really. I wouldn’t want to live there, but it was my second home, so I liked it.

    Akisame and I lived a block, not even, away from each other. I was over at her house every chance I got. Every weekend there was at least one sleepover and in the summer at least three a week. Usually more though. When things were rough at my house I came here to escape if I couldn’t handle it at my house. The same went for her. She used my house as a second escape.

    I walked down the street and turned onto my street. I frowned and looked at my cell phone for the time. I still had half an hour before I had to be back at my house. I turned around and walked down a dead end street near my house and up a path that led to the top of a huge hill. The walk took about five minutes pretty much straight up the whole way, but the walk was well worth it.

    When you stood on the top of the hill, you could see the whole city. It was an amazing sight during the day, but an even better one at night. The city was beautiful with it all lit up with lights and such. Greens blues yellows from street lights, lights from stores, lights from landing planes at the airport, lights from cars. Anything that had a light added to the beauty. Everything glowed and seemed tiny. When I stood on this hill I felt empowered, like nothing could stop me. I was strong, but on ground level I felt small and unimportant. This was one place I felt comfortable.

    I looked out over the city and sighed. Everything seemed brighter tonight. Once Akisame and I came here at night together. It was still slightly cold then, just after winter ended. There was no snow but everything was muddy from the what was left of the melting liquid. We weren’t really supposed to go there, but we both felt like it that night. That night was also the first night I walked through a cemetery just for the sake of it.

    We told Akisame’s parents that we were going to the store to get some candy for the sleep over that was happening that night at about eight, but stayed out really late. It was almost midnight when her parents finally realized that we weren’t there. By that time we had walked to the other side of town. If their dog didn’t need to go out we wouldn’t have been caught. We went back to her house and she got in a lot of trouble. I even got yelled at by her parents. If my mom wasn’t out of town that night I would have had to go home. Instead we lost all our sources of entertainment and had to stay in Akisame’s room for the night.

    I smiled as I thought back to the days following that night. I got grounded for almost a month too and my mom insisted that she would never trust me again, but almost right after I got ungrounded she let me go out again. Now it seemed funny, but that night it seemed horrible, but I guess it was our own fault.

    I looked at my phone and sighed. I had ten minutes to get back to my house now. Time seemed to fly when she was up here. She lost all sense of time and had to pay close attention to her phone. I walked back down the hill towards my house. I walked slowly, but made it there in time.

    “Hey mom. I’m home.” I said as I came in the door. My mom was on the phone with her friend “I’m going to bed though. I’m really tired.”

    My mom smiled and nodded “Alright. I feel sooo loved. Night.”

    I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue at my mom before I skipped up the stairs to my room. My mom was, of course, being sarcastic about how loved she felt. I went into my room and closed my door behind me. I scooped up my pet rat from her cage and she crawled up my arm onto my shoulder.

    I laughed a bit as she ran up my arm. It tickled a bit. I gently poked her nose “Hew cutie. How’s my baby Tawny?”

    I played with my rat for a while and turned on my computer. I put Tawny back in her cage and say at my computer desk. I turned on my music and the song ‘All I Need’ by Within Temptation came on first. I checked my Facebook and saw a message from my ex boyfriend Ian had messaged me again. He always made me feel so depressed. I sighed. It couldn’t be helped I guess. He did hurt me a lot when we were together and after he broke up with me.

    I could go into detail about everything he did but that would take days. The memories are still showing themselves to me as I think about one thing to the next. It would all be very disorganized and very confusing. So I’ll just stick to the basics.

    A few months ago, well more than that, Ian and I were together. It was well before Christmas. Early December I think. I had liked him for a while and me and my friends decided it was time for me to ask him out. So I asked him and he said let me think about it. Of course that’s what he said, but that night when I was talking to him on MSN he said yes. He was two years older than me so I was a bit surprised, but I was really happy.

    We were together for a while and he came to my house to hang out and stuff. Like a normal teenage couple, right? He even skipped his spare to be in the classroom with me. He sat in the empty desk behind me and we would pass notes back and forth. I was still really happy, but I was blind. Blind to what was happening around me all that time.

    In truth he was using me all along. He liked my best friend when I asked him out so he thought he would use that to his advantage I guess. He told me in the class that he stayed with me. We were passing a note in class and he told me that Akisame was cutting herself. He told me he wanted to help her get better and that she wanted to be with him too. He broke up with me and asked her out. The cutting part was true, but it was a convenient way to break up with me.

    Once Akisame started to go out with him he decided he wanted to be with me and Akisame. He would tell me every few days that he loved me and not her, tell her the same and the next day he didn’t love me and loved Akisame. It was a repeating pattern. It just kept happening.

    After a while of them being together I still wanted to be with him regardless of what he was saying. My friend and him decided it would be best for him to be with me for a while. They thought I would realize I only wanted him because I couldn’t have him. That wasn’t true though. I still wanted to be with him because I still loved him. He realized that and broke up with me again after only a weekend of being together.

    On the weekend that we were together we were at a youth group event. It’s a winter gathering of a ton of youth groups from pretty much anywhere in Canada or the US. It was happening at Muskoka Woods, an amazing resort. Very expensive place too. We only paid seventy bucks a person. It was a weekend get away for teens and their leaders. There wasn’t many adults, but there were rules that were enforced. Both boys and girls were there so they made the ‘six inch rule.’ Basically a girl and a guy couldn’t be close together or touching and stuff unless it was a quick friendly hug. And the guys cabins were far away from the girls ones too. No guys in the girls cabins and vice versa.

    So me Ian Suki and Kaily were at this camp with our youth group that wasn’t too far away from the Woods. Peterborough was about two hours from Muskoka. We hung out together mostly and wandered around the resort, just having fun. Well one of the nights, Ian wanted to go for a walk with m, just me and him. Of course I said yes, why not? It was only a walk, right? So we started walking down the main path away from my cabin and he wanted me to show him a place that me and Suki had found. I agreed and walked towards it.

    Suki came running behind us to catch up. I was disappointed and a bit mad at her. I felt like she didn’t trust me enough to go for a walk without getting into trouble with Ian. So we went on our walk the three of us and went back to our cabins. I finally had the chance to ask her about why she came. I said how I felt and she said that she trusted me, not him and she was creeped out whenever he was around. She had good reason to be creeped out, but I was blind to it then.

    When we got back from the Woods he broke up with me again realizing he and Akisame were wrong. They got back together. After a few days of them being together I noticed he was being controlling and abusive. I wouldn’t stand for my friend getting abused by him or anyone. I’ve had enough abuse in my childhood. I decided I was going to do something about it so I told her and she shot it down. I also told him to back off and he ignored me too. Everyone else could see it but Akisame.

    Eventually they broke up and I was happy. A couple months passed without many problems but then he decided he liked me again. I already had another boyfriend though, the same one that I’m with now actually. There was an event at school, pretty much everywhere, but my school was doing it themselves. It’s called the 30 Hour Famine. Basically you raise money for less fortunate countries and go for 30 hours without eating anything but a small cup of plain rice. Oh and everyone participating had to stay overnight at the school.

    At three or four in the morning I decided to go to bed. Suki and her boyfriend were in the little corner that me and all my friends were hanging out at. So I lied down right against the wall and tried to sleep, but it sort of failed. Ian, who was hanging out with us most of that night, would come every once and a while and stand near where I was sleeping for about five minutes, stare at me and then walk away. He repeated that for a while and I eventually fell asleep. Suki and her boyfriend told me the next day when he wasn’t around that he came and sat beside me after I fell asleep. They said he just sat there staring at me with a very creepy expression on his face. After he left and didn’t come back Suki and her boyfriend also left.

    When they came back, and the next morning when I woke up, Ian was sleeping unnaturally close to me. Like almost cuddling with me. If I moved at all in my sleep that night I would have been pressed up against him. I couldn’t move away from him because of the stupid wall so I was stuck there next to him until I got up, which was soon after I woke up. I went and sat near my friends who were waking up too. It was about five then and we could move around much until about eight for breakfast. Our first meal in 30 complete hours.

    After the famine we all went home and after the weekend school started normally. The weekend I talked to Ian and pretty much told him to leave me and my friends alone. So did Akisame. So we went to school that day and he, from what we saw, stayed away from us. That lasted about a week. After that week he started to follow me around at school, but from a distance. He was pretty much stalking me. He didn’t follow me home, it was far from the school, but I’m sure if it was closer to the school he would have. He did it to one of my other friends. He was constantly showing up at her house and she was creeped out by him too.

    When school ended for the summer we were all relieved. My friend who he had been stalking moved away so he couldn’t follow her around anymore and he couldn’t follow me around because I didn’t live near him. We stopped talking after many threats from Akisame and my boyfriend Ryan.

    I sighed. He was finally back after almost two months of peace. He kept asking me for another chance with me. He said he never stopped loving me. He loved me all along and he wanted my forgiveness and all that crap. This message was like the others. It read:

    Shayna I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you. I hurt you a lot and I need to make it up to you in someway. I’m asking you fro another chance to prove myself. I love you. I always have and it’s taken me this long to realize that. Please consider this. I love you.

    I frowned as I typed my reply. Of course I wouldn’t give him another chance. He hurt me and my friends so much already. And how was I supposed to know if he was just using me once again? How could I believe him after everything. He always lied to me and I couldn’t trust anything he said anymore. Why trust this?

    I sighed and closed the window. I didn’t feel like dealing with this tonight. It would still be there in the morning to painfully answer. I turned my computer off and collapsed on my bed without even changing. Most nights I didn’t change. I slept in whatever I passed out in. I sighed again and rolled over onto my side. My light was still on, but I didn’t care. I closed my eyes and fell asleep to the normal nightly torture.

    I was in a dim-lit hallway. It was a very long hallway. Very empty. I stared down the hallway and gasped. A well lit room was ahead. In it was my baby brother and our step-father. My step-father held a knife in his hand. He held my brother in his other hand. Instantly I knew what was going to happen next. I had to stop it from happening.

    I sprinted down the hall towards them. No matter how fast I ran I got no where. My step-father raised the knife as I ran, still getting no where, and stabbed my brother in the back of the neck. Tears ran down my face. I had failed him. I was his sister, his protector and I just watched him get murdered. I realized now that I was moving, getting closer and closer to him and his murderer.

    Once I was in the room I knelt beside my brothers’ body and picked him up. I held his still warm body and tears ran down my cheeks, dropping onto his childish face. I sat there holding him for what seemed like hours, but it could have been only a few moments.

    I was unaware of everything around me except for me and my brother. Everything else faded. I could no longer see the hallway I had just run from. The walls and the floor had dropped away. Everything around me was black, except for the small white area around me and my brother. I wasn’t even aware of my step-father standing near us in the shadows.

    When he came out of the shadows I jumped. I had forgotten all about him, until this moment. He towered over me, since I was still kneeling, holding my brothers body. He still had the knife in his hand and he had a wide grin on his face. The look in his eyes told me everything. One. He was proud of himself for killing a small child and two. He was going to kill me next.

    There was two options now. Run away and hope he didn’t catch me, though I was positive I couldn’t outrun him. He would catch me easily. Or I could just sit here and accept my death. He would probably kill me quickly if I just sat here, but if I ran I couldn’t be so sure. He might just want to torture me if I ran.

    I took a deep breath. Running seemed like the better option. I at least had a chance to get away. Not a good one but still a chance. That was better than no chance at all. I stood up leaving his body on the ground. As much as I wanted to take him with me if I wanted to get away at all I needed to be able to run, and run fast.

    It had only been about two seconds since I first stood up. I was thinking quickly as the adrenalin kicked in. I took one last glance into his eyes. They still held the same murderous intent as when I first saw them. I shook my head and ran into the darkness. Everything was still black. I had to get away.

    I looked over my shoulder only to see him chasing me. Every second he got closer and closer as followed me into the dark. I ran faster, but again I got nowhere. He on the other hand was catching up. Easily.

    I felt a hand grab my hair and pull. I fell backwards into him. Into the one who was about to kill me. I pulled away, now frantic. I couldn’t let myself be killed by him. By this monster. His grip tightened though and I felt a sharp pain run up my arm. I looked down to where the pain came from. A trail of red sticky, warm blood ran down my arm as he pulled the knife out.

    I struggled again. It was the only thing I could do. I needed to survive. I was becoming more and more desperate and frantic. I pulled more and another pain went up my arm. My guess was he stabbed me again. I wasn’t about to look and find out. I kept pulling until I felt something sharp against my neck. I held still. The knife was there now. He was going to slit my throat. Was this it? Could this really be the end of it for me? Would he really kill me? The answer to all of those questions was yes. He would kill me. My life was over. My last thoughts before I felt another sharp pain, then nothing. I was dead.

    I sat up gasping and held back a scream. I touched my cheek and my hand got wet. Tears were running down my cheeks. I had been woken up by this many, many times. I took a deep breath and looked around my room. Everything was right where I left it and Tawny was even looking at me through the bars of her cage. The light was still on and everything. I sighed and got up to turn the light off. The digital clocks glow said that it was only 5:30 in the morning.

    I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling of my room. I knew there was no point of trying to sleep again because every time I tried I would see the images of the nightmare replay before I was even asleep.

    Even though this was normal for me, I never seemed to get used to this. The nightmare never seemed less real or less scary. I always felt the same way afterwards. Breathless sad and guilty. It never changed. Well one thing changed. I could hold in the scream that wanted to escape after, but it was replaced by the tears.