• tab Fantasia was known for many things. It had sprawling green fields, lush forests, sparking waterfalls, a useful village that supplied everything a warrior would need for a journey, and a beautiful view of the ocean. These were the things that Nate had been seeing for the last eleven years rather than paying attention to what really existed in the real world. It wasn’t that he hated the real world, but if he had to choose, he’d pick Fantasia over reality any day. The two places were so different that Nate couldn’t even begin to compare them. In Fantasia, he was in control. Whatever he imagined would come to life in Fantasia. No matter how big or small, simple or complex. But in reality he was just another powerless teenager, being forced to follow guidelines set by his parents and other adults. Even among other kids his age, he was still the weakest link. He had always believed that there was nothing in the real world that Fantasia couldn’t give him. That had been true until he met Jenna. He knew that when the summer came to its end, she’d go back to her home in South Hallow, New Hampshire and became nothing more than a mere memory to him. Of course, he could easily conjure her up in Fantasia, but it wouldn’t be the same. He had always known that Fantasia had its faults, and yet, why hadn’t he noticed them before?
    tab “Are you ok?”
    tab Blinking, Nate became aware of the fact that he was sitting in the middle of Chuck’s. At the moment, Jenna was sitting across from him looking very concerned.
    tab “You’ve been staring at your soda for the last five minutes, something wrong?”
    tab Rubbing his eyes, Nate tried to focus on Jenna though his head was still somewhere else.
    tab “No, just thinking about something,” he muttered as he picked up his now cold pizza.
    tab Then they sat in silence, the only sound was the sound of people chattering throughout the pizzeria. Occasionally, Nate would catch Jenna staring at him awkwardly, obviously aware of the fact that something was on his mind. He couldn’t help it. Ever since Cass had brought up Fantasia and how they wouldn’t need it as much anymore, Nate had been stuck debating in his mind if her words were true. Of course, what she was saying was true, they were getting a bit old to be playing make believe but still, Fantasia had been part of their lives for years. Could Nate really just turn his back on it? He didn’t want to if that was the question. The place meant so much to him; he couldn’t just abandon it so suddenly. Glancing over at Jenna, he knew that she wouldn’t understand what he was going through. She had no connection to the place like Theo, and Cass did. And yet, if Fantasia meant so much to them, than why did Cass say what she did?
 “I think it’s time we start narrowing down our time in Fantasia.”
    tab They had been talking on the phone about what to do the next day and when he had brought up Fantasia that had been her answer.
    tab “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
 There was long pause on her end, probably because she was trying to find the right words to say, “I’m just saying,” she said at last, “now that you have Jenna, do you really need Fantasia anymore. As a matter of act, do any of us really need it anymore?”
    tab Of course they needed it!
    tab Without Fantasia, where would they escape to after having a bad day when nothing seemed to go their way? What would they do if they didn’t have that place to send their minds to, so they could block out all that was wrong with their lives. This wasn’t Cass talking it was her stepmother. It was no secret that that woman hated Fantasia. Ever since Cass turned thirteen, her stepmother, Hilary had been trying to keep Cass away from Fantasia. She’d give Cass long lectures about how immature it was for a girl her age to be spending that much time daydreaming about some make believe world. Naturally, Cass ignored Hilary’s words, and kept playing with him and Theo. So Hilary retaliated by signing Cass up for an art program that had class almost everyday after school and on weekends too. At least during the summer, class only ran twice a week from two to five. Nate didn’t understand why, but Hilary seemed fixated on preventing Cass from traveling to Fantasia with him and Theo. Most likely the reason why Cass was saying these things now, was because Hilary had just given her another brainwashing lecture.
    tab “Ok Cass, I know it’s going to be hard, but try and completely forget whatever Hilary said to you, she-”
    tab “Hilary didn’t talk to me,” she said flatly. “Think about it Nate? We used Fantasia to escape reality because we couldn’t deal with how mean it was. But now are lives are better. I’m top of my art class, with a few of my pictures hanging in the town library, you have Jenna and-”
    tab He didn’t wait for her to finish that sentence. “What about Theo? I’m sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend or some drawings hanging in the library. Out of all of us, he needs Fantasia the most.” He didn’t understand what was happening, how could Cass turn on him like this. What about the promise they made together? To never abandon Fantasia, even when they got too old to use it.
    tab Not wasting a moment, he reminded her of that promise, to which Cass replied simply, “Things change. Even you said it yourself after your first date with Jenna, ‘I wish I had paid more attention to the real world,’ remember?”
    tab True, he had said that, but he didn’t mean it like this. He wasn’t ready to let go of Fantasia just yet. In the background, he could still hear Cass talking to him, telling him that that chapter of their lives had come to its end but he was too angry to listen.
    tab “You know what? ******** off!” slamming the phone against the wall, he stormed back into his room, Diana yelling at him; wanting to know what his deal was as he slammed the door in her face.
    tab Though he was still angry with Cass, Nate knew that he had to be careful, or he might end up unleashing his anger out on Jenna.
    tab “So are you sure there’s nothing on your mind?” Jenna asked after another long gap of silence.
    tab Sighing. Nate stood up and grabbed his uneaten slice of pizza, ”Everything’s fine,” he whispered before walking over to the trash and dumping his food. He had to say something; otherwise, she’d be asking him the same question all night. He could ask her about her day, but he already did that and didn’t want to sound like he had already forgotten. Fantasia was out since he might accidentally bring up Cass. What did that leave him with, the weather?
    tab Glancing back, he noticed for the first time that Jenna hadn’t touched her food either. In fact, she looked pale too. Returning to his seat, he reached out and touched her hand. Looking up from her plate, Jenna smiled at him though he could tell that something was off about her.
    tab “What about you,” he motioned to her plate, “are you ok?”
    tab Another forced smile, “Yeah, I just had a late lunch is all.”
    tab Why was she lying to him? It was obvious that something was wrong. Suddenly Nate realized that he was doing the exact same thing to her, lying and telling her things were fine when they’re clearly not. Out of the corner of his eye, Nate saw another young couple sitting a few tables away. Unlike him and Jenna, they were talking happily, the girl giggling every now and then, while they guy laughed along as well. Together they held each other’s hands and from what Nate could see, they both looked extremely happy to be with one another. Why couldn’t he be like that with Jenna? Sure he was cold and sometimes came off as unapproachable. But was he really so distant that he made Jenna feel uncomfortable and forced her to lie to him?
    tab At that exact moment, the guy leaned forward and kissed his girlfriend and Nate knew that if he had to watch this overly dramatic display of affection any longer, he’d end up marching over and pouring his drink on top of the guy’s head. It was as if this guy, a guy he didn’t even know, was mocking him, rubbing in his face the fact that his relationship with Jenna was so complicated.
    tab “Come on,” he said it meaner than he intended to, “we’re leaving.” Not even waiting for Jenna to reply, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the boardwalk that was illuminated with all sorts of multicolored lights.
    tab The sun must have just set because the sky was a canvas full of deep pinks, reds, and purples. The boardwalk was crowded, as usual. Groups of tourists and locals walked up and down, talking and laughing about different things as their voices mixed together until they became a cacophony of noise. Even though the beach was closing, there seemed to be more people on the sand than ever. In the air, Nate could smell the familiar scent of hot dogs and hamburgers being cooked on a barbecue. It was a hot night, and Nate could hear music drifting out of the various bars. Up in the sky, the first of the stars were just starting to appear.
    tab “Where are we going?”
    tab Dropping her hand, Nate walked over to the metal railing of the boardwalk and leaned against it. “Not sure, just had to clear my head.” He watched Jenna look at the ground uncomfortably. Sighing, he motioned for her to join him, “Come here.”
    tab As soon as she was besides him, he put his arm around her. Though it was warm out, Jenna’s body felt about ten times hotter than the air. Reaching up, he touched her forehead with the back of his hand before pressing it against his cheek.
    tab “You sick aren’t you,” he whispered as Jenna rested her head against his shoulder.
    tab Shaking her head, he watched her close her eyes as she took his hand in hers, “I’m just tired.”
    tab Rolling his eyes, he pulled her closer to him. “Some date this turned out to be,” he muttered.
    tab “It’s my fault, I should have stayed home.”
    tab But it wasn’t. It was his fault that their date was going awfully wrong. Earlier, when Jenna had told him about her day with Theo, he had been overjoyed. At long last, the tension that had been floating between them would finally disappear and things would finally go back to normal. Then Cass had to open her big mouth and now everything was complicated again. A part of him wanted to tell Jenna what was going on, but he knew better. He was afraid to talk, unsure of what exactly might come out of his mouth. He might say something that he was certain he’d regret later. He’d have to deal with this problem on his own. But he’d deal with Cass later, right now he had to focus on getting Jenna home.
    tab “Let’s go, I’d rather not have you throw up on me,” then he was leading her back home. They didn’t talk much on the way back, instead, Nate kept his attention on the sky, watching it become darker and darker, until the only color that was left was the deep navy color of night.
    tab By the time he reached her door, Jenna looked like she was about to faint. Nate was relived that their date had ended quickly otherwise he might have had to lie to Jenna the whole night. He couldn’t talk to her when every word he said was one big lie. Helping her into her apartment, Nate poured her a glass of water while she changed out of her clothes. When he walked into her room, she was already lying in bed, buried beneath her blankets. Walking over to her side, he handed her the glass and watched her drink it slowly.
    tab “You need anything else?”
    tab Jenna handed him the empty glass and shook her head, “A kiss would be nice, but I wouldn’t want you to get sick too.” Her voice was soft, and he could tell from her tone that she’d be asleep any minute.
    tab Smiling, he pushed his hair out of his eyes before bending down and kissing her gently. Her lips were hot, just like the rest her body. He didn’t mind though. If she weren’t sick, he would have liked to take the kiss further, show her that she didn’t have to be afraid of taking the next step with him. When their lips finally parted, Jenna had already fallen asleep.
    tab Creeping out of her room, Nate scribbled out a note for Dahlia, telling her about Jenna’s condition before walking out of the apartment, After locking the door, Nate slid the key back under it’s hiding spot before walking away. He hoped that whatever had gotten into Jenna’s system would be gone soon, just like he did with his conflict with Cass.
    tab Why was it, when one problem was finally fixed, another always arose?

    tab Jenna hated being sick. She hated lying in a room all day doing nothing but stare out her window at the ocean, longing to join the people on the beach for another fun day in the sun. Whenever she was sick at home, she would pass the time by watching TV or going on the computer. Instead, her only form of entertainment today was Dahlia and her endless supply of stories. As much as Jenna loved her grandmother, there was only so much she could take upon hearing Dahlia reflect about her long and very eventful life.
    tab “So as I was saying, when I was thirty two, me and the girls went down to Las Vegas an-”
    tab “Dahlia?” Jenna asked as she pulled her pillow off her head. She couldn’t take it anymore. After five hours of non-stop stories, Jenna was at her limit. “I’m feeling a bit tired, maybe I should take a nap. Besides, you’ve been talking for a while, I’m sure your throat could use a break.”
    tab “Aw, isn’t that sweet of you. But I feel absolutely fine, besides, my mother always said that there’s nothing better than good stories to cure a fever.”
    tab Rolling her eyes, Jenna pulled her pillow back over her head, wishing it could drown out the sounds of Dahlia’s persistent voice. She wanted Dahlia to leave so Nate could come over and stay with her. However, Dahlia was stubborn, and Jenna knew that there was nothing she could say to make her grandmother budge from her spot on the bed.
    tab “I bet you’re thinking about a certain boy who hardly ever smiles. Am I right?” She didn’t even wait for Jenna to deny it before breaking into a bout of laughter, “I was the very same with my first husband. Did I ever tell you about Bill?”
    tab Jenna pulled the pillow away again. Shaking her head, she sat up. Dahlia rarely brought up her first husband, though according to her mother, Bill had been her favorite.
    tab “We were next door neighbors. Everyday, Bill, the Frankie twins, and me would get together in the vacant lot behind my house and play. We spent our entire childhood in that back lot, making up adventures while the rest of the world went on with its own problems.” Smiling, she reached for one of her many necklaces and pulled out one that had a crushed bottle cap on it.
    tab “Bill made me this for my eighth birthday,” she brought the cap to her lips and kissed it softly before tucking the necklace back underneath her shirt. “In fact, it was Bill that came up with what you now know as Fantasia.”
    tab This was news to her; Jenna had always thought that Dahlia had come up with Fantasia to entertain her mom back when she was a kid. Who knew that Fantasia had existed for this many years?
    tab Reading her granddaughters expression, Dahlia nodded, “That’s right. Bill had quite the imagination, nothing like your friends mind you, but it did the job. For years, we imagined ourselves as warriors, on an ever-continuing quest to obtain riches beyond our wildest dreams. We kept the game going even when we were the only ones left to play it. Of course, by the time the Frankie twins moved away, I was already thirteen…”
    tab Finally interested in what her grandmother had to say, Jenna moved closer to Dahlia, eager to hear more of the story.
    tab “…I used to think that we’d play that game forever. It was nice always having a wonderful place such as Fantasia to retreat to when times were hard. Of course, that all changed when I realized that Bill was more than just the boy next door who couldn’t spell the word ‘spaghetti’ if his life depended on it.”
    tab “You fell in love with him, didn’t you?” The answer was obvious, but Jenna still wanted to hear the words come from Dahlia’s mouth.
    tab Nodding, a sad smile appeared on her grandmother’s face, “Yes, too bad I realized it too late.”
    tab “What happened?”
    tab Sighing, Dahlia went on with her story, though her voice lacked the happiness that had been it before. “I was sixteen. Bill, who was a year older than me, still came over to my house and together we traveled to Fantasia and spent most of our days there. One day, we had just completed an adventure where Bill was the brave knight and I was the princess that had had a terrible curse placed upon me. After rescuing me from a tree, Bill brought me up besides him and whispered in my ear, ‘The only proper way to save a princess is with a kiss of true love,’ and then before I could say anything, he was kissing me.
    tab “Up until that point, I only ever saw Bill as a friend, a close friend who I could tell everything to. But after that kiss, I realized that he meant more to me than I could ever understand. Once our lips had parted, Bill confessed his love for me, telling me that he had been trying to tell me for years but could never find the right way how. He asked me if I loved him, but of course I was still a foolish little girl, a stranger to things like love.”
    tab Dahlia closed her eyes, and for a moment Jenna thought that she might cry. However, Dahlia’s eyes fluttered open again and stood up before walking over to the window, “That was the last time Bill and I ever played with each other. While he was healing his broken heart, I continued to play in Fantasia, but something had changed. It was harder to travel there in my mind, and once I got there, I found the place to be lonely and empty. It was as if the magic was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring it back. Finally, about seven months later, I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I had dreamt Fantasia erupting into flames and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t seem to go there anymore. The next morning, I realized that Fantasia was gone, just like Bill, who had left to join the armed forces fighting in Europe.
    tab “For three years I turned down countless offers for marriage, making my mother very unhappy with me, while I wanted for Bill to return. I wanted him back, hoping that when he returned, so would Fantasia. Of course, by the time he did come home, I was so overwhelmed with relief that I forgot about the place. I had heard so many awful stories of what had gone on over there, that moment I saw him, I rushed into his arms and hugged him. Then I took a step back and punched him the shoulder, ‘You idiot,’ I cried, ‘don’t ever just disappear like that without even telling me. What if you had died? Who would I have married then?’ The next thing I knew, Bill was kissing me, telling me that he had waited years for me to say that to him. We were married less than three weeks later.”
    tab “And Fantasia? Did you ever manage to go there again?” Jenna asked.
    tab “I didn’t need it anymore,” she said while looking off to the side. “For the magic to work I needed Bill. Once he went off to war, Fantasia dried up into mind. And when he finally came back to me, I didn’t need some fairytale world to imagine that I’d live happily ever after. I out grew it, just like I knew I someday would. Fantasia was a wonderful place, but it wasn’t real. Who would want to remain in a world where all the things you want, are imaginary?”
    tab It was a nice story, perhaps one of the best that Dahlia had ever told her. Though this was her first time hearing about Bill, Jenna already knew how Dahlia’s first marriage ended. Less than a year after being married, Bill had gotten sick, and a few weeks later, he died on Dahlia’s twenty-third birthday. Though Dahlia remarried a few years after that, she never got over the shock. Even now, after all these years, Jenna’s mother still insisted that Dahlia was still in love with her first husband.
    tab “What was Bill like?”
    tab A slow smile graced her grandmother’s face as she sighed happily, “He would have been perfect if he didn’t have that scar on his forehead from when his older brother threw a rock at him or his chipped front teeth from when he ran into a tree. Then there were his freckles. I used to spend hours just counting them before teasing him that they were multiplying and soon going to take over his entire face. And for his personality, well, I guess you could say that he was sort of like Nate.”
    tab “Nate?”
    tab Nodding, Dahlia went on, “He may have been afraid of the dark, but Bill was a stubborn one. He’d stop at nothing until he had successfully made me smile. Even when the neighborhood bully started picking on me, Bill would stand up for me, even though he didn’t stand a chance of winning.”
    tab Almost instantly, Jenna thought of Nate’s fight with Lance. He hadn’t had a chance in winning and yet Nate had fought him anyway.
    tab “Now,” Dahlia announced after a long period of silken, “I think its time you take a nap, you’ll never get rid of this fever if you don’t rest.”
    tab Jenna watched Dahlia stand up and walk towards the door. She was reaching for the doorknob when Jenna suddenly called out, “If you could, would you go back to Fantasia, even if it was for one day?”
    tab Dahlia didn’t even hesitate with her answer. “No. After living so many years of my life in a land of pretend, I realized far too late that the real world can be just as exciting as my fictional one.” Then she blew her a kiss before walking out of her bedroom.
    tab Long after Dahlia had left her room, Jenna stayed awake, contemplating what her grandmother had said. Since she had almost no connection to Fantasia, she didn’t have to worry about letting it go. But Nate did, so did Cassidy and Theo. Rolling onto her back, Jenna stared at her ceiling. Knowing Nate, he probably wouldn’t let Fantasia go without a fight. When both his friends moved on, he’d be the last one standing, insisting that Fantasia was better than the real world any day. Sighing, she closed her eyes, wondering if the thought of moving on had ever occurred to Nate.
    tab It was dark when she opened her eyes again. Luckily, she felt a hundred times better then before and when she reached for her phone to see if anyone had called, she was surprised to see a message from Ashley.
    tab “Hey Jenna it’s me. Haven’t talked in a while and I just wanted you to know that I told my friends about what happened. At first I was scared, thinking that maybe they’d turn on me like…well, you know. Instead, Rachel told me that she’ll help me get through this, even help me tell my parents if I wanted to. I just wanted you to know that I’m grateful that you stood by me even when I thought no one else would. I’ll talk to you later, bye!”
    tab Jenna stared at her phone for a long time, letting Ashley’s message sink in. It would be a lie to say that she wasn’t surprised to hear that the same friends who had abandoned her had accepted Ashley’s problem. But was it fair? Ashley had been raped, just like her, the only difference was that one had been drunk, the other sober. How could her friends accept what happened to Ashley so openly and yet turn her away so easily?
    tab Rubbing her eyes, Jenna was startled to see them wet with tears. Why was she crying? Was she really that envious of Ashley that it had reduced her to this? No, she thought, being ditched by my friends was the best thing that could have happened to me, she assured herself. If her friends hadn’t turned their backs on her, then she would have never come to Florida and have met Nate. She was grateful that her friend were all stuck up bitches who only cared if the problem had any negative effects on their social status. And yet, no matter how many times she told herself this, she couldn’t seem to stop crying. Of course she knew why her ex-friends had agreed to help Ashley. The guy that raped her had a reputation for such behavior while Jason he…
    tab “No,” she whispered, she didn’t want to think about Jason, didn’t want to start remembering.
    tab Suddenly she heard a knock at her door, “Jenna?”
    tab It was Dahlia. Hastily, Jenna wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, “Yeah?”
    tab The door cracked open and she caught sight of her grandmother’s mousy gray hair, “I know it’s late, but your visitor insisted that I let them see you. Can I send them in or do I have the right to throw them out?”
    tab Jenna took a moment to answer because she felt another wave of tears coming, “Yeah, send them in,” she said at last, though she could tell from the sound of her voice that it reflected the way she was feeling.
    tab The door closed for a moment before opening again. Jenna watched a slim figure slip into her room before walking over to the side of her bed.
    tab “How are you feeling?”
    tab “Better.”
    tab She watched Nate sit down a the edge of her bed, “That’s a relief, you looked awful yesterday.”
    tab Even though he couldn’t see her in the dark, Jenna smiled, happy to be with Nate again. After hearing Dahlia talk about Bill, Nate had been on her mind. He was so dedicated to Fantasia; she couldn’t possibly imagine him giving it up.
    tab “Did you have fun today? Last time Cass was sick, she said that Dahlia nearly talked her ear off with her stories,” he whispered.
    tab “Actually she told me about her first husband,” Jenna went on to tell him about Bill and how Dahlia used to play in Fantasia though something seemed off with him. Nate seemed distant, as if he wasn’t fully listening to her story. He had been like that the other night too, just gazing off into space as if nothing else mattered.
    tab “Is something wrong?” She had finished her story and Nate had yet to respond to it.
    tab “What?’
    tab Climbing out from her blankets, she crawled over to him until she was besides him, “You’re acting strange. Last night there were times when it felt like you weren’t all there.”
    tab She watched his silhouette turn towards her, slowly as if he had once again, forgotten where he was. Something was going on in his head, she only wished he’d tell her what that was.
    tab Hearing Nate sigh, Jenna felt his hand on her cheek, “I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” he whispered before kissing her gently. As if her body was moving on its own, Jenna wrapped her arms around his neck as she felt the bed against her back. She knew what he was doing, trying to distract her. The sad thing was, it was working.
    At first, things were fine. Jenna always liked it when Nate kissed her, it made her forget about Jason and gave her a sense that nothing could harm her. Though as much as she enjoyed it when Nate held her, after their first date, she had asked if they could take their relationship slowly.
    tab “I like being with you, but I’m not ready for stuff like that,” she had explained, hoping that Nate hadn’t misinterpreted her reaction after what had happened in his bedroom. Thankfully, Nate had assured her that he was fine with taking it slow.
    tab “I’ll never do anything that you don’t want.”
    tab But right now, something was wrong. While Nate continued to kiss her passionately, Jenna could feel his hands moving under her tank top. She didn’t like it, the feeling of his hands against her skin, they kept reminding her of Jason.
    tab “Wait,” she said as Nate continued to kiss her, his hands slipped further under her shirt until they had reached her bra. “Nate stop.” This wasn’t what she wanted and he knew that. But instead of listening to her, Nate continued and slid his hand underneath her bra.
    “Stop!”
    tab Almost instantly she felt Nate let go of her as he climbed off of her. Folding her arms over herself, Jenna sat up and turned away from him, “I’m not…I’m not ready for this stuff,” she whispered, preparing to hear Nate yell at her about being a coward.
    tab But rather than yelling at her, Nate stood up, straightened out his shirt before moving over to the door, “I’m sorry,” she could hear the regret in his voice, “I wasn’t thinking.” Then she heard the sounds of her door opening and closing and once again, she was alone in the darkness.