• What is the point? I ask myself that question a lot lately…What is the point of doing homework? What is the point of cleaning my room? What is the point of caring? My life has gotten way out of hand, I feel like I’m going on fast forward, and I can’t press pause and take a break.
    I’m Darci, with an I, Wolfric; I had just started High School at a great place in Northern California called Adin. It’s a Valley. I liked it there; the school and town are both small so I knew everyone. Then, we moved. My parents decided to move all the way to the East Coast, to Freedom, Maine. But I felt anything but free there.
    The school was okay, and the neighbors were just fine, but I just felt like I didn’t fit in. You know when everyone stared at you and just completely ignored you and made you feel like a nobody with no chance of surviving and if you don’t want to go down with them, don’t hang around. I got that feeling a lot.
    The reason my family moved was because my little brother, Max, died, he was hit by a drunk driver, and he was killed instantly. My parents couldn’t get over it because they were friends with the driver their entire lives, so they decided to move away for good. I had to leave my friends, my extended family, and even my multiple pets. I could only take my dog, oh how I love her.
    My dog is a wolf-husky mix. She is very tame, and she loves to play. I feel a great connection with her always. I don’t know if it is because of my love of animals, or because my family’s emblem is a wolf? I have no idea...
    My first day at the new school was like any other first day, you come in go to the office and you get your schedule and leave. I thought that at least someone would help me find my classes, but every girl I saw had this look in their eyes saying, “You don’t belong, go back to California, Freak!”
    I was terrified. If the girls were this mean, how bad were the guys? I was wondering through the halls trying to find my next class thinking about this when I just fell! Flat out onto the ground!
    I thought I was just being my normal klutzy self when a guy, an actual nice guy ran over to me and yelled, “Oh my god! I am so sorry! Are you okay?! Let me help you!”
    I could hear all the people that were in the halls snickering at us as they passed bye staring at me while they walk to their own classes. “No, I’m fine, really, I tripped, didn’t I? I don’t remember, Oh man! Not again! Why does this always Happen to me!?” What I forgot to mention earlier was that I had actually began getting blackouts as soon as we moved out of Adin, I had no idea why, I thought it was homesickness, I was terribly wrong.
    “Blackouts? Is that it? Oh that’s very common around here, you’ll fit in just fine, and I tripped you, I was late leaving class, and I accidentally tripped you. I’m really sorry. I think we should take you to the nurse and have you checked out, and tell her about the blackouts. Everyone here thought you might be really different coming from California and all, but still, I guess there are more out there. So what class order are you? I’m Alpha. You have to be Beta, because you aren’t very controlling with people. That’s ok, we actually don’t have many Beta’s here, you are very middle ground, and we need more of them in the Pack, I guess I’ll see your family at the meeting then?”
    “Wait hold on!” I had no idea what this kid was talking about? “First off, I don’t even know your name! Then secondly, I think you’re the one who needs his head checked, I have no idea what this Beta and Alpha thing you’re talking about is! Are you completely crazy! I just moved here from friggin’ California, my brother died only a month ago and I had to leave all my friends behind, that’s about all I know about this place, okay!?” I couldn’t help it, I was very angry that day, I felt unwanted like no one cared about me or my feelings at all, so I felt like I had a right to rant.
    This kid was giving me the creeps! “Oh, I am so sorry, um,” he sounded very out of place just then, not his confident voice anymore, “Yeah, maybe you should go check out your head at the nurse, just in case, you should tell her what you told me, just some advice, also, maybe you could, just talk to me or something, if you ever need some help with anything, okay?”
    “Whatever you say dude, thanks…I’m Darci, by the way, um, with an I…thanks for helping me” this kid was cute, I never noticed before now, but he was really weird, like on a scale of one to ten, he was an eleven! “Um, just wondering, where is the nurse’s office?”
    “Oh yeah, I am so sorry, I’ll show you, it is right near the office, I’m going to be late for class anyways, so I’ll show you the way. Hey by the way, you’re really strong for a girl. Most people would go all the way down the stairs after they run into me, that’s pretty cool.”
    “Oh, so you’re saying that you trip people a lot?”
    “No, no, no, that’s not what I meant, I just meant, um…never mind, I’m really sorry again, well here’s the nurse, tell her about the blackouts, she can help, and remember just call me if you need any help with school or anything like that. I’ll see you around.”
    He just handed me his number right then, wow, I guess I was going to be okay here, if only just. It was only one guy. Oh wait, I’m staring jeez, say something, “Yeah, thanks, I’ll do that, okay bye then…” smooth, you are such a dunce. It was an off day.
    It was only after that that I realized that I never got that boys name, I had a good feeling that I didn’t want to know.
    I walked into the nurse’s office, and the smell overwhelmed me, I just went into another blackout mode but this time, it was a flashback…

    “Max, come on, we are getting late, the bus is coming! I’ll help you tie your shoes on the bus!” I was yelling at him, I couldn’t be late to school my perfect record would be destroyed!
    “I’m coming Darci. Just wait a second, okay?”
    “Fine, but only a second!” Max and I always got along really well compared to most siblings, we yelled at each other every once in a while, but only if we felt rushed, or just had a bad day. That day was one of those days, but we soon got over it.
    “Okay Darci, lets go I’m going to beat you fair and square this race!” Max and I always raced to the bus stop, I was always the winner, but I sometimes let him win, he always noticed though.
    “Okay, you’re not going to win this time, that’s for sure!” I always just ran, not to far ahead, but not always behind, always watching for him. It was a normal day, but then the neighbor came. He was drunk and speeding, it was the worst.
    “Max! Run faster! Please! Max, come on you can make it! I was already at the bus stop, and Max was halfway across the street. Bob veered just slightly off to the left, but just enough, he hit Max.
    “Darci! No!” those were his last words. I was terrified. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before, I always lived a sheltered life and an easy one at that, but just then, I only thought about Max, how I should have been the one under those tires, how I should have been there for him, always!
    The ride to the hospital, it was terrible, only me and my dead brother, Max. My dead brother, I was just in shock. I couldn’t think, but I was holding his hand and crying and thinking about every moment we had together.
    The hospital was even worse, because my parents didn’t come until he was long pronounced dead, they never cared for us the way parents should have, and I have never been the same with them since, they wouldn’t even come to see my brother right while he was on his last trip dead! I couldn’t believe it!

    My distraught brought me back to the present. I hated those flashbacks/ blackout times, I just felt so vulnerable and weak, and I just want to tear something.
    “Oh my, dear, you were out for a long time, how are you? That wad a longer blackout than the usual ones here, have you had a traumatic incident recently?”
    “Huh, where am I? Oh yeah, the nurse, that kid tripped me…do you have any idea what’s wrong with me and these blackouts?”
    “Darling, you haven’t answered my question, and you don’t understand what the blackouts are? Your parents should have told you already! Oh my.”
    “Oh yeah, um, I don’t like to talk about it, but a month ago, my brother died…” there was an awkward pause there; I don’t think the nurse liked that.
    “Oh dear, this is a problem...” she paused a lot, like trying to find the right words, “well then, I will have to call your parents, why don’t you go home early. I’ll write you a pass. I know it’s your first day,” she said as I started to protest, “but it is for your own good. I do believe your parents are originally from here, so I will talk to them, don’t you worry.”
    What was I to do, I got to skip school my first day here, I didn’t argue because I wanted to go home, I just couldn’t’ stand this school or anyone in it, especially not that kid. What was his name!? I needed to know that more than ever; I decided to call him as soon as school was over.
    The nurse left quickly after that, made the phone call and I left. My house wasn’t very far away, a couple of blocks, like everyone else’s house in the town. Almost as soon as I walked into the door at home, my dad came running at me and hugged me like he hadn’t seen me for days, I didn’t get it, so I just stood there like a rag doll.
    “Um, dad?” I said after a while, “Why are you hugging me so much?”
    He didn’t respond right away, but backed off slowly and stared at me for a while, then he said carefully, like the nurse, “Darci, your mom and I have hid something from you for a long time, and we shouldn’t have hidden it from you. When your brother died, we knew we couldn’t’ escape your fate, we thought we could save you by having another child and moving away for a long time. It didn’t work, and we lost Max! I can’t believe it! Your mom and I were so careless about it all. We are so sorry Darci, can you forgive us?”
    “Hold on dad, what are you talking about? Are you saying it was your fault Max died? It wasn’t your fault it was the drunk! It couldn’t have been you guys!” I was getting hysterical; I couldn’t understand anything that was being said to me today!
    Another long pause, “Okay, I’m done with the lies, so I’m going to tell you right out: Your mom and I lived here when you were born. That is the big house you remember, here in main. Then your mom got pregnant with your brother. It is forbidden in the Pack to have more than one child, so we had to leave as fast as possible. We didn’t know what was going to happen to Max, we just knew we had to protect him. We turned our back on the moon and the Pack never forgave us for it.
    When Max died, your mom and I decided that it was fate telling us to return to the Pack and return to what is our true selves.”
    “Wait a second, your saying that this “Pack” thing is going to destroy you for having more than one child?! That is ridiculous! I can’t believe it, is the Pack some cult you and mom joined a while back, or what, because I’m getting scared, and what does it have to do with my blackouts and painful memories of Max?”
    “Darci, calm down, the Pack is not a cult, it is a group of very…unique individuals who needed a place to call there own. So they created a colony and live away from normal humans to protect them, and there are a lot more out there, they just aren’t found as easily. This Pack was the first and the only one that is not going to die out in the near future because of its strong Alpha’s.”
    “Okay, I know what an Alpha is, a leader of a wolf pack, I knew that since I was three, because of our last name…but what does it have to do with me, and this town?”
    “It has everything to do with you, sweetheart. Your mom and I were the leaders of this Pack for years, until we had you, then we cut back a little bit on leadership, but then your brother was born, the rest is history. You are an Alpha, okay, an Alpha,” another pause, I was getting freaked out at this point beyond belief, “Werewolf”
    What!?! That isn’t possible! Werewolves don’t exist, they never have! They never will, it’s just a story! Why was my dad telling me this! I’m not a child, and that is totally not what is wrong with me! It’s just the after effects of losing a family member. Yeah that’s it. The sorrow is getting to me.
    “Dad, I think I must be confused, I thought I heard you tell me that I was a Werewolf?”
    “That’s right, I did say that. I understand your confusion and disbelief, but trust me, you are a Wolf, and you need to understand that before you do anything rash or dangerous.”
    I had a lot of questions, and I still was very shocked about it all, I still didn’t believe it. “So what your saying is that I just need to believe you? Even after you lied to me all those years about who I was in California?”
    “All I’m asking is that you try.” He sounded to sad and ashamed. I was starting to believe some of it. I was really confused; I was starting to get a headache.
    “Oh man, dad, can I go lie down, I’m getting a headache, a really bad one. It’s getting stronger, headaches don’t come on like this, dad, what’s wrong with me!?” I was getting really scared. I started to breathe faster, my head felt like it was about to split apart.
    Then I could feel my bones crack and twist into unthinkable positions, it just about killed me. I didn’t think I was going to make it. Then it stopped.
    “Dad, what is wrong with me?” I tried to say, but it all came out as grunts, like from an animal, not just any animal, a wolf! I was getting really scared! I started to whimper I was terrified by what had just happened to me. I could only see in black and white! I started to thrash around and I bumped into everything within my reach.
    “Clam down Darci, calm down!” what! eh was trying to tell me to calm down after I turn into a wolf! “I know you are scared Darci, but just listen to me, okay? All I need you to do is think Human thoughts, like vegetables and standing on two legs. Just think Darci. Think about anything human.”
    Okay, I can do this, I can…Craaack! Ouch that hurt…I started to howl, like a wolf, but the longer I was yelping, the more human the sound became, eventually it turned into a human scream.