The Project

• Artist: gabbwee2
• Description: COMMENT PLEASE *Begs* i really want to no wat u people think!!!!!
  There's more to it, except that i am kinda winging it. lol it's more like my rough draft, lol it was an idea that sprung up in my mind at 1 pm, probally do to too much caffine!
• Date: 07/10/2009
• Tags: project fiction

My heartbeat fluttered gently in my chest. the pain wasn't so bad once i got used to it. the ach in my chest had now become a dull hurt, a mere scratch. I smiled and giggled to myself as i watched the world disappear in a fury of colors, some i didn't even know.
A strong voice yelled from somewhere in the mist, 'Hold her down, don't let her make any suddenly movments, we could ruin this whole project!!!!"
I tried to ask "What project" but my mouth wouldn't open. as i went to touch my lips i couldn't move my hands. i wanted to cry but couldn't, what was happening. all i could see was the mist in front of me, where were the rainbow, the voice. i started to shiver uncontrolablly. i want to go home. Mom, Dad! where am i?
the pain started to come again, slowly ever so slowly. soon i was even aware of my own fragile heartbeat. With a sigh of relief i opened my eyes slowly. at first everything was a mix of many colors but then things soon became almost crystal like.
"Dr. Yanamaki?" I questioned quietly feeling something suddenly sting my arm.

Comments

[ShannonOhNoes]

im interested for more (:

[Euphoriafly]

Um... what is this "project"?

[Silderon]

I think its really good, you should continue it

[Hekibel]

It's a bit.... unclear as to what the plot is. You usually get a clear taste of the characters in the first few pages, sometimes paragraphs of the book, and this doesn't really do that. Maybe introduce her personality more. Punctually, don't do the multiple exclamation points or the all caps, it just detracts from the story.