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It all began when Isy first met him. Isy was on her morning stroll when she went into the new clothing shop called "All you need". She went in to find a new pair of jeans. She went up to the counter when her keys dropped. She bent down to grab them when a hand grabbed them for her. She looked up and saw him. "Thank You" she said. "You are so welcome and so beautiful" he said. "Thanks" she said and turned red. "Sorry" he said and also turned red. "My name is Isy" Isy said. "Nice to meet you Isy my name is Jordan" Jordan said. Jordan pulled out a paper and a pencil and wrote something down. "Call me" he signaled and walked away. So she grapped her jeans and paid for them. She looked at her clock it was fifthteen minutes to eight. Great she thought.
She went outside and jumped into her mustang her parents got her for college graduation. She planned to own a hair salon since she had a license. She wanted a salon badly it was her biggest dream. She tried her best to be the best in her class. She was so smart and so talented.
She went home and got breakfast ready. She was having eggs, toast, and bacon. She ate and showered. Isy picked out a cute outfit.
She dialed Jordans number. "Jordan speaking" he said as he answered the phone. "Hey Jordan it's Isy why did you want me to call you?" she asked. "Hey Isy meet me at the park" he said. "Sure" she whispered and hung up. They lived in New york, New york. A big city where she went to college. To be continued in "Call Me" part two...
- by --EmOpRePpYwEiRdY-- |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 06/26/2009 |
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![](https://graphics.gaiaonline.com/images/arena-images/ic_paper_corner_32x32.gif)
- Title: Call me (part one)
- Artist: --EmOpRePpYwEiRdY--
- Description: a romantic love story
- Date: 06/26/2009
- Tags: call part
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Comments (7 Comments)
- --EmOpRePpYwEiRdY-- - 05/01/2011
- Aha (: Sorry people! I was young!
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- inks - 04/29/2011
- Hmm. I agree with both Vezild and bstnegls, the sentence structure is very distracting to the mood of the story. Also, Isy seems a little to perfect , and this might leave no room for her to develop as a character. 2/5
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- Vezild - 05/01/2010
- Umm i agree with bstnegls. The sentences are choppy (kind of 1st grade-ish). I think that the plot had come to a sort of bad start. Isy had not been introduced well and I find the way Isy and Jordan met a little...unrealistic and dumb. Also, use different words for "said" and make a new line for every quote...2/5
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- Chiuru - 07/04/2009
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so.. wheres the part two? smile
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- bstnegls - 06/27/2009
- the sentences are kind of choppy. I think it would flow better if you introduced isy first rather than throwing information in randomly
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- lvhtjsnlwys101 - 06/27/2009
- this is good. i love it!
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- Britbratbrianna - 06/27/2009
- I hate it when people over use said...if it has a question mark at then end then write asked...if they yelled or whispered something write that! not said, said, said!!! Also you described her dream of owning a hair salon when is wasn't really nessecary to the story unless someone askes her what is her dream....come on....
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