Anne and I

• Artist: PandaPastels
• Description: This is a little of my book. I am not yet done but please if there is something wrong tell me.
• Date: 04/19/2009
• Tags: anne

“Anne!” I cried as soon as I got there. “Now we called you up here to let you watch as we push Anne down the school building twisted ,” Andrew said with a great loud laugh. While Andrew did his laughing, his friends pushed Anne! I jumped down the school building and saved Anne! “Now for the great finally razz ,” I announced, “I shall beat three bullies and push them down the school roof!” So I beat up two and push Andrew down to the floor. “This is not right! Go catch him,” Anne commanded. “But that is what he did to you. sad " I said

Comments

[astrumical]

Nice story! loooool i'll give u a 5

[Alarmingly Charming]

Its not descriptive enough. Its vague, blunt, and short [well...even for a excerpt from a book]. You've got the who, but where is the what, where, when, how, and why? Basic questions to answer in a story. :3