• “Holy Mecha-monkeys I’m finally here!” exclaimed the young red-headed lady, Kitty Beatrix, driving up to her very first apartment, “I can’t wait to . . .”
    SCREECH
    CRASH
    “I can’t wait to at least show I passed my driver’s test.” She pitifully moaned instead, “Why did I have to crash the moving truck?”
    The car horn went off with a howling beep. The Road Kill is Us moving company truck suffered a smashed front end as the poor thing leaned into the crater where the front porch used to be. Kitty laid her head on the car horn in utter defeat as she rolled out of the driver’s seat. She stumbled out of the crater into the crowded street in a wobbly daze. The small town of Monster Alley was just like any other small town. Once one person knows the news, everybody knows the news. Monsters of all shapes and sizes gathered around the tiny crater.
    Kitty didn’t know what was going on but her head was pounding. Shapes . . . images were starting to become clearer and clearer once she finally came to. She abruptly sat forward to the sounds of breakfast sizzling in a skillet. Was this her apartment? Boxes moved in, a layer of dust settled on the floor, and someone was cooking breakfast in her cozy kitchen in back; just like her old home. Just then, a draining feeling went through to the pit of her stomach. No one was supposed to be in this place except her.
    Kitty felt around the couch for the light but who could really cook in the dark? She set up into an upright sitting position. The long white fur on Kitty’s back stood on end. She waited for her bright-orange eyes to focus. She rolled the covers back as dainty as her little cat paws could manage and heaved a muddled sigh.
    “Oh great!” Kitty snorted, “I freaked out again didn’t I?”
    Kitty hated every time she freaked out. It’d always turn her into a tailless cat.
    “Mr-r-row,” Kitty called out but to no avail. The stranger was busy on the phone.
    “Hang on Penny,” The voice chirped, a melodious sound to Kitty’s hypersensitive ears, “The Cat’s up, I’m going to get it a nice bowl of milk.”
    “Milk . . . MILK?!” Kitty mewed and made such a face, “ EE-yew! I’d rather have hot coffee.”
    K-CHUNK SSSSSSSS
    The coffee maker started up and a wonderful aroma filled the air. Kitty leaped from the couch and padded to the kitchen. The smell of hot bacon sending her senses into a tizzy. Kitty eyed the lady in front of the stove. She looked tall, long legged, and seemed like an angel with silky-bouncy curls. She glided from fridge to table and back again. Only problem was this angel had no reflection in the microwave door and seemed to like a lot of the red stuff in her coffee. Kitty wondered if that was blood or her imagination. The lady put out a second cup and plate before gliding over to set a saucer of milk on the floor.
    “Meow,” Kitty called out ignoring the vile stuff on the floor thinking, “I’ll have some of that coffee too.”
    She made a leap to the table only to be caught in midair by the angel woman chuckling, “Oh no you don’t little kitty. Coffee’s only for the big people.”
    SMASH
    “I’m one of the big people TOO!” Kitty hissed and batted the vile saucer of milk across the floor.
    CRASH
    She hopped on the table, scattered the bacon and made a dash for the coffee pot. The woman dashed after Kitty. Smugly, Kitty darted right back into the woman’s face. She clawed at the woman’s angelic ears; pulling mouthfuls of bouncy curls. The woman in turn had an iron-grip around Kitty’s middle and man could that woman tug! Kitty dug her claws into the woman’s cheeks refusing to let go. They went around and round in circles until-
    POOF
    CRASH
    Kitty suddenly turned back into her 108 pound-human self and both girls went tumbling to the floor. Kitty wobbled in a daze as she surveyed the helpless scene around her. The kitchen was a mess and some caramel-angelic curls were hanging from Kitty’s bottom lip. In the meantime the stranger Kitty landed on was getting ready to stir with a groan. Lips parted way to show an impressive set of fangs as Kitty got a steamy face full of bloody-garlic breath.
    “E-yew,” Kitty veered; wrinkling her nose, “Someone’s in need of breath mints.”
    “Would you like some?” The stranger answered, “I’ve got some in my purse.”
    MROAR
    Kitty freaked out into cat mode and slid, a white blur, across the linoleum floor. Her ears pinned flat across her head. She hissed in sheer panic and rage at the fanged stranger. The stranger, obviously a vampire, licked a bloody droplet off her fingertip and just sat there staring. Kitty glared back with an arched back.
    “How dare you break into my house,” Kitty hissed, “How dare you touch my coffee you blood sucking monster!”
    The vampire curled into a sitting position as she studied Kitty with glittering topaz eyes she quipped, “Well I guess my new neighbor doesn’t own an Orange eyed White Cymric Cat . . . In fact you are the cat aren’t you.”
    POOF
    The hissing died down. The cat’s back relaxed and where once stood the cat now sat an astonished young lady. Kitty now stared back at her not-so-angelic vampire neighbor. The stranger laughed uproariously showing her full set of fangs. Kitty just felt dumb struck. What else could she do?
    “Aw sorry about that,” The Vampire beamed with an outstretched manicured hand, “I’m Rose Bloodthorn but please call me Rose. Who’re you?”
    “I’m . . . Kitty . . . Beatrix?” Kitty answered back as she took Rose’s invitation for a yank up. “Um . . . Are you high off of garlic or something? You sound insane.”
    “How funny,” Rose laughed; she pumped Kitty’s poor hand vigorously and hard, “You’re my new neighbor! Welcome to Monster Alley.”