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Memories of a Broken Heart
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by
ewagan
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Fiction
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| Submitted on 02/17/2009 |
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Elandra watched as the ship left the dock and turned for the horizon. The ship grew smaller steadily, until it was just a dot in the distance. She stood there watching, thinking about the day he had told her he wanted to go across the sea.
“Elandra!” She smiled at his exuberance. He acted like a little kid most of the time.”Elandra, darling! I have an idea! Let’s go across the water to the new land!” When she had smiled and laughed at this foolish thought, his face became serious, telling her that he was sincere in this. Then her laughter stopped.
“You’re serious are you? You can’t be! It’s so far away, and we don’t know anything about it!” Elandra cried. “Everything we know and love is here! Not across the deep waters in the new land they discovered!” Even then, she knew he would not give in to her.
They had let the matter rest there, but she could see the burning desire in his eyes, the desire for things he could not have. They had burned that way when Elandra had turned him away when he had courted her. It was a raging desire to get what he wanted.
Every day, he would point out something appealing about the new land across the deeps, but for Elandra, leaving everything she knew and loved behind wasn’t appealing. She wanted him, she wanted to make him happy, but she didn't want to leave her home.
“The possibilities, the hopes, the prospects! They all point to a better future. You cannot fail to see this!” He exclaimed, his face flushed with passion.
Even now as she watched the ship disappear into the unknown horizon, she did not regret it. She may regret his going, but she didn’t regret her decision to stay. A light breeze caught her hair and started playing with it, first whipping it this way, then the other direction.
Despite her desperate pleas, he went, he left her here. He had tried to take her, but she didn’t want to go. She would pray, begging the gods she knew to change his mind. She had wanted him to stay so badly. But know as he left, he left a gaping hole where her heart had been. It hurt so much to know that he had gone, and he was likely to meet another girl there who will catch his eye, and then marry her. It hurt so much, yet it eased her pain at the same time. A strange combination, she mused, lost in the whirlwind of her thoughts and memories.
She struck the inexplicable truth of her feelings. She loved him enough to let him go. It was that simple. She just wanted him to be happy. If he was happy across the deep waters, then who was she to stop him or kill his dreams and hopes? Understanding this, she stood there, looking out at the churning waters of unknown depths that separated them. Everything will be alright. She knew that one day she would heal, and would be ready for someone else. But she might never heal, for he had taken a part of her with him.
The wind picked up and howled, heralding the arrival of a thunderstorm. The sky had an iron grey cast to it. Lightning flashed, and thunder rumbled across the unquiet waters a dreary landscape. She remembered the time they had stayed out during a storm, they had gotten soaking wet, and by the time they got back to the little cottage they called home, they were shivering with cold. A half smile curved her lips as the memory came back to her.
Her emotions were turbulent, alternating between anger, joy, sadness, understanding, acceptance and sorrow. She looked out sorrowfully, her hair and clothing whipping around her slender body. She sighed and turned away from the rough waters that mirrored her emotions. She felt a raindrop hit her face, and she looked up. The rain was coming. Elandra closed her eyes and started walking to a nearby bench. She sat there as the rain started to fall heavily, stinging her face and soaking her clothes.
She welcomed the drops of water hitting her face. She felt her eyes fill with pent-up tears and let them flow down her face unchecked, for now no one could tell whether it was the rain or her tears on her face. As the tears and rain mingled, Elandra cried in silence. Eventually, she got up, heading for the cottage where she had lived in joy, a place where many of her memories centered. A place she would always remember.
As she opened the door, she remembered the first time she had seen it. She had known then that one day, she would live and love here, and that this would always be a place of bittersweet memories. The fire in the fireplace had long died down to embers which glowed in the darkness of the cottage. Elandra bent down at the fireplace and threw in a few dry twigs and a small log before gently blowing the embers to life. A small fire flared and a twig caught on fire. Elandra threw in a small twist of paper that caught fire easily and helped to get the fire going.
She stripped off her wet clothing and hung them in front of the fire to dry. After wrapping herself in a robe, she sat in front of the fire, staring in to the fire's hypnotic depths. As the flames danced, Elandra saw Damien clearly in her mind's eyes, sitting at his desk writing, cleaning up the dishes. He was always moving, always doing something. He loathed wasting time.
Elandra saw herself, a young girl, so gay and full of life. Unscarred by the hardships in life, she had flirted and teased Damien, dancing and running around the cottage. Now, she hugged her knees, her chin resting on her knees, as her memories took her back in time, bringing back memories of joy, of laughter and of love. All the memories that kept Damien close to her heart, in the silent whispers of the past. Lightning flashed outside her window, illuminating everything briefly.
Her eyes filled with tears, and she let them roll down her face unchecked, for she did not care anymore. Burying her face in the knees, she wept silently. She wept until her eyes were swollen and she had no more strength left for crying.
~*~
Later, Elandra made herself a cup of hot jasmine tea. The moonlight came in through the windows. She sat at the table where they had shared their meals together. Her memories haunted this house. She remembered the first time she saw this house, she had instinctively known that she would fill it with bittersweet memories of her youth, of her first love, her only love.
Sipping her tea absentmindedly, she recalled their last moment together.
“Elandra, sweetheart,” Damien whispered into her hair, “Promise me something,”
“What is it?” She had asked, lifting her head to look into his deep green eyes. His love for her and a strange indefinable emotion was reflected in his eyes. A strong intensity and wildness burned in his eyes.
“Promise me that you will continue to live, that you will at the very least try to live without me there to watch over you.” He looked at her, his gaze piercing. “Promise me!”
“I promise.” She swallowed. “I promise you Damien, that I will go on without you, that I will try to live a life without you. But something else I promise you. Should you come back here, I'll be waiting for you.”
He gathered her in his arms. “I love you. Always have, and I promise I always will.” He pulled away and lifted her chin. She smiled tremulously as her eyes filled with tears. He kissed her gently and then let go of her. He walked away, his eyes full of love for her.
“I love you. Goodbye, my darling.” Elandra whispered, her voice drowned by the wind and the crashing waves.
She knew that she would survive this, but he had taken her heart, her soul, her very essence with him.
~*~
Every day, she waited for a letter, for a sign or something that would tell her that he was fine. Deep down, she knew he was not hurt, but she wanted some proof, some evidence he was fine. However small or minor, she would gain some gratification from it.
Elandra was heavy with child, yet no one said anything about it. The villagers talked behind her back, and she heard what they said. They believed that Damien had enchanted her, bewitched her until she fell into his bed willingly. The villagers were sympathetic to her, tried to mention him as little as possible when she was around. They tried to pretend he didn't exist.
However, Elandra's growing belly was proof he existed, for she carried his child. She knew the people of the village meant well, but she couldn't take the gossip. She spent much of her time in the cottage that she had shared with Damien, cleaning, cooking or gardening. Her garden blossomed and was a fusion of many spectacular colors.
Her father mentioned getting her betrothed, and Elandra knew many men sought her hand in marriage, despite the fact she was heavy with child. Translucent skin with eyes the color of topaz, glossy honey colored hair framed her delicate face. She was beautiful and managed to turn heads wherever she went. She also had a sweet and gentle disposition, but she could be stubborn and willful. As a girl, Elandra had always been slender and girlish. Now, she had more experience, and she had matured into womanhood, for she was a girl no more.
She would never be married for she was bound to Damien. She would not be able to love any of the men the way they deserved to be loved, with all a woman's heart and soul. This was because Damien haunted her, in her memories, in her home, in her past. Often she missed him, missed his presence. She still saw him everywhere, in the cottage, in the woods, in her garden, anywhere they had been together. Sometimes she went to the dock and sat there, musing, thinking of the last time they were in each other's arms.
It would continue like that until she died, for she belonged to Damien. She was irrevocably his and his alone. She would only ever belong to him . She was Damien, as he was her. They were bound together beyond time and space, two threads woven together in the grand design that Fate and Destiny had created.
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Title:
Memories of a Broken Heart
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Artist:
ewagan
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Description:
A simple story of sacrifice and memories. Well maybe not so simple.
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Date:
02/17/2009
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Tags:
memories
broken
heart
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