• “Ten! … Nine! … Eight! … Seven! … Six! …” The completely plotzed crowd around me starts the big countdown to the New Year and I can’t help but place my head in my palm. Why did I let Sandra drag me out to this party when I knew I was going to be the company of inebriated idiots? If I wanted to get sloshed, I could have done so privately. But no, Sandra begged me to come, using my non-existent social life as an excuse to drag me half way across town to some old college friend’s flat (her friend, not mine).

    “Five!... Four!... Three!... Two!...” Was I really spending this time of new beginnings among strangers? Well, at least they weren’t complete strangers, I recognized a few of them from the office. But still… it was the principle of the thing. I should be spending this time with those who are precious to me… not with people who haven’t realized yet that beer pong is something better left to the coeds….

    Maybe I should try to find some precious ones first.

    “ONE!” Suddenly, I feel someone’s lips sloppily crush up against mine as the room around me breaks out into a wild cheer. Oh god, it’s open mouthed… I may be tipsy, but I’m not drunk enough to allow some stranger to play tonsil hokey with me. Pushing back violently, I try to ignore the taste of cheap vodka that has invaded my mouth and give a pointed glare to the man that stumbled onto the couch next to me. Bloody tippler.

    Rising quickly to my feet, trying not to pay too much attention the slight sway in my step, I look over at Sandra who is currently snogging her boyfriend. “Sandy! I’m leaving!” She doesn’t even hear me and I sigh dejectedly. Perfect. Well she’s just going to have to deal with the loss of her designated driver, because this train is pulling out. This is one conductor who’s had enough of guys trying to make a move on her.

    Exiting the flat, I start making my way to the parking structure just a little bit down the way. Of course, with it being New Years, the sidewalk is packed with people ringing in the New Year with cheers, laughs, and maudlin renditions of Auld Lang Syne. After what seems like an eternity, I finally reach my car and fumble with the keys for a few moments before finally managing to get the key into the ignition. Jeez, should I be driving? I didn’t think I was that intoxicated. Staring at the wheel before me, I start to recite my A B Cs backwards. “Z, Y, X…W, V…U?” Screw it, that’s good enough for me. Putting the car into gear, I start the long drive home.

    Happy New Year.