• Once, there was a cat. It was an ordinary cat, only it had the mind of a 30 year old comedian.
    And, this cat could talk. It's owner was... not normal. His geekness was as strong as the smell of rotting fish. The cat's owner also had a guinea pig, who was incredibly stupid. As an example, it rammed into a wall whilst looking for its food bowl. the cat hated the g.p, and occasionally grabbed him out of his cage and mailed him to Saudi Arabia. The neighbors seemed to not particularly enjoy this cat's company, mainly because he chewed anything that closely resembled scones and/or guinea pigs. Why, may you ask, does this cat love scones? Well, to be honest i don't know, but evidence has shown that he was born in a scone store that specialized in only scones and had been a spokescat for numerous scone companies. This cat had a plush gorilla that he hugged whenever he was down. The cat thought the plush had feelings, but later found out the hard way about his cotton organs. As you can see, the cats owners life was anything but normal. The shopping list was so long it streched from kentucky to kenya, and usually the mailman would have to wear plastic clothing when he came to their house to keep from being torn apart by the menacing creature that nature called a cat. Oh, i forgot the cats talking skills. It once came up to its owner and said, " Did you ever hear the one about the dancing sheep and the crocodile? I ALMOST BUSTED A GUT! HA! It was HILARIOUS!". Ahh yes. Mother nature's way of saying that there is some wierdness in the world.